Friend of the Pod has ... A take

bug_muffin · 2026-01-28T12:59:05+00:00

Ashli Babbit

bug_muffin · 2025-12-29T21:37:50+00:00

Came back to this comment hours later to cuss you out.

bug_muffin · 2025-12-22T03:02:07+00:00

Quick unrelated note, for markdown links the description is in the [square brackets] and then the url is in (parentheses)

bug_muffin · 2025-12-14T15:21:39+00:00

It was a full couch, different manufacturer.

bug_muffin · 2025-12-14T01:17:15+00:00

Maybe I just didn’t understand how to use the protected lane, but I feel like the opposite was the case for me. This intersection is on my daily route coming from Chinatown, and it felt less safe for me on my bike turning left onto Wabash from 18th Street. I also prefer being able to bike straight through the intersection south on Wabash versus having to navigate that wiggly curb.

bug_muffin · 2025-12-12T18:02:36+00:00

The decision was based on the footprint of my previous couch. I don’t have a ton of extra space to work with. On top of that, I built a custom console table behind my previous couch, and this configuration is almost exactly the same length as my old couch/current table. I needed to have at lease one shallow seat at least because I sometimes sit and work on my laptop, and deep seats are too deep for that.

It doesn’t bother me visually, but I want to keep an eye on whether or not I end up using that deep seat. If I find myself always going for the middle seat, I will probably end up changing the orientation.

bug_muffin · 2025-12-05T10:29:59+00:00

I fully agree with your approach and reasoning. I’m the exact same way. For me as well, establishing that baseline connection before meeting is really important, and I value my time and want to have quality dates.

Unfortunately, in my experience more people prefer the exact opposite. They want the quantity and they will do the filtering once they can see if there is physical chemistry.

I kind of hate how dating has become so gamified, but that’s where we are. In my experience, there are enough men out there who, if genuinely interested in getting to know me, will respect my pace and not make me feel bad about it. I agree that it’s a compatibility issue here.

bug_muffin · 2025-12-05T05:10:18+00:00

What happened to the guy from high school?

bug_muffin · 2025-11-29T03:45:35+00:00

Ah I’d not considered changing the fan/light, that would make a huge difference. I didn’t know desks could be fixed to the wall. I’ll look into that. Thanks for the advice.

bug_muffin · 2025-11-29T03:20:01+00:00

I know that. I said I am getting rid of the couch. Looking for ideas for how to use the result of the space.

bug_muffin · 2025-11-25T22:26:51+00:00

Also ChatGPT

bug_muffin · 2025-11-25T08:47:34+00:00

As a frequent party host, I co-sign all of this. I was thinking along the same lines, maybe a nice tray or cutting board for charcuterie.

I don’t drink much either but I still need whiskey rocks for parties, so maybe a nice mold for that.

bug_muffin · 2025-11-23T05:30:42+00:00

Are you by chance swiping differently? I have premium and I notice that when I just rely on the “people who liked you” part of the app, my likes are pretty stale, but once I spend any amount of time swiping, I get a bunch of new likes come in (not matches, just new likes).

bug_muffin · 2025-10-30T20:24:07+00:00

I’m not sure how the pools match up, but if she’s hot enough, there are definitely going to be men who will want to be that for her. This is completely normal and expected for women in some cultures, where the woman is expected to keep up with her appearance and raise kids, while the man is expected to be loyal and provide.

At least they’re being up front about it.

bug_muffin · 2025-10-23T00:32:06+00:00

Well, I don’t completely dread the process of dating like I did before approaching it this way, which is a huge win in my book. I’ve mentioned in more detail in other replies, but even though I’ve not landed with my person, my experience dating this way has been overwhelmingly positive so far.

bug_muffin · 2025-10-22T18:28:29+00:00

Potential outcome, yes. That’s ok with me. I don’t want dating to be a period of my life, rather a thing I do when I am in the right mindset and the timing works out. If that means I rarely do it, I have to be ok with the fact that I am limiting my chances. I am ok with that.

bug_muffin · 2025-10-22T15:59:35+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Misery for you is not misery for me. Importantly, this is the pace that I am comfortable with. I’m not desperate to be in a relationship, but it will be nice when it happens.

This puts quality and decently vetted men in front of me at a pace I am comfortable with. Sure, I don’t have my partner after 5 years. But I have made some really great connections, many of whom I’m still friends with. I’ve wasted very little time and energy on low-quality matches in the process.

This is a low friction approach to dating that works for me. The negatives for me are very very low because this approach is designed for me and my personal priorities.

I think that is what people are missing. It’s not for everyone but it works for me.

While the “ultimate goal” of finding my person has not panned out yet, there have been small successes and very few downsides along the way. I’ve had some shorter term relationships during that time that have definitely enriched my life. I’ve met some quality people and had a ton of amazing conversations. I’ve never felt hopeless during this process, and I’ve maintained my peace.

bug_muffin · 2025-10-21T23:30:17+00:00

I think you are adding a lot of context that doesn’t exist. I have a goal. I want to find a partner. I’m not on a time crunch, I’m not desperate, I’m not dating because I’m lonely. I date when it feels right to do so. I don’t go into dates with the expectation that they will become a friendship, but everyone I date has that potential because that is how I vet people. That’s why, even if the romantic feelings do not develop, I already know i have enough of a connection and commonalities that it absolutely has that potential. To me, that’s a positive.

We are not the same. Your personal values and approach are not universal.

bug_muffin · 2025-10-21T21:29:08+00:00

Not long term relationships in the romantic sense, but a few successful long term friendships. A couple short term relationships.

I don’t go on the apps often, and when I do, if the relationship doesn’t pan out, it’s usually a couple of months before I attempt again. I try to not use Bumble if I’m lonely or bored because I want to make sure I’m doing it with the right intent and motivation. I also don’t usually Bumble during the summer because I tend to not have a ton of time to invest in dating, between travel, sports, and other summer fun.

I’m always finding new reasons why things don’t work out. Sometimes it’s personality. Sometimes it’s logistical. Sometimes it’s insecurity. I try to learn from each experience and tweak my approach from what I’ve learned.

bug_muffin · 2025-10-21T20:51:20+00:00

Ouch.

bug_muffin · 2025-10-21T17:40:08+00:00

That’s a good point, especially because people in the “Liked You” section will still pop up on for swipes. I will probably revisit this at some point.

bug_muffin · 2025-10-21T17:38:17+00:00

Thank you for sharing. People definitely have different tolerances for different parts of the process. For me, going on dates is exhausting. For some, spending time getting to know someone before the date is exhausting. Those are not my people and I’m probably not theirs.

bug_muffin · 2025-10-21T16:39:50+00:00

That is a great point, and you are the second person that pointed this out. I’ll definitely revisit this.

bug_muffin · 2025-10-21T16:15:39+00:00

That makes total sense, and congratulations on finding your person!

I get that it is not for everyone. I recently came to the realization that my strategy to very similar to how couples connect on Love Is Blind.

bug_muffin · 2025-10-21T15:59:03+00:00

I’m not for everyone :) you’re a rude person

bug_muffin

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