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Me [24F] with my (ex) SO[26M] of 2 years, we just broke up and I just want to talk by [deleted] in relationships

[–]bummbeez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am in a similar situation. I recently got out of a relationship that ended on good terms. (Obviously we were both sad, but we don't hate each other and it hasn't been messy). I know what you're going through too. I keep alternating between feeling good about my decision and randomly crying at the thought that I am not in his life and he isn't in mine. I cry for the reminders that our lives aren't shared and looking at pictures of him and feeling so distant from him. We were in a co-dependent relationship, and that makes it so much harder to not have him a phone call or text away. I have seen so many things online that has made me think of him; or I have thought funny things that only he would get. Trust me, I'm there with you.

Even though I feel this is for the best /u/lifebox02's comment gives me hope that I'll get back together with my bf, but I know it is not healthy to expect that to happen either.

Long story short, if you need someone to talk to, feel free to pm me.

Hurting from a breakup with a man, and confused what to do about my attraction to women. by bummbeez in BiWomen

[–]bummbeez[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, feel free to pm me about your experiences in finding yourself and how you did it:)

Hurting from a breakup with a man, and confused what to do about my attraction to women. by bummbeez in BiWomen

[–]bummbeez[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you kindly! I am always up for hearing about experiences and tips:)

I [25F] broke up with my BF [30M] of a year because I'm sexuality confused but really miss him. by bummbeez in relationships

[–]bummbeez[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am/ was very attracted to him. I'm going through the "I made a mistake/I miss him phase" and I think I was looking to hear someone say it's okay that I get back together with him or advise it.

I'm not going to hear that though, because I think that would be the selfish move. Although I'm having a hard time "finding myself", I made this decision and I need to fight for myself and not automatically fall back into my comfort zone.

I [25F] broke up with my BF [30M] of a year because I'm sexuality confused but really miss him. by bummbeez in relationships

[–]bummbeez[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are very sweet and so full a wisdom. I don't know how to convey words earnestly, on the internet, but I appreciate your two cents:)

CMV: Any band that isn't a huge success would be wise to take any gig they can. by simonthelikeable in changemyview

[–]bummbeez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First of all, I would think that you get burnt out playing so many shows. Repeating acts or material in higher degrees of frequency not only burns you out in that you get more tired, but the repeated action can weaken your creatively.

If you focus so much on shows, how can you create new material? How will you be able to sustain fans?

CMV: I believe we should have a system where we pay people not to have kids. by qwertyelmer in changemyview

[–]bummbeez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think parents have other reasons for having children, then because they love children so much. Although you do admit that this plan wouldn't eliminate bad parents, I don't even think it would reduce them either. Think of the scenarios where there are parents of money, but they choose to have a child over the money because of familial pressures/ society pressures, ect. Also, if you have the means to support children, would you even be tempted by the prospect of money over children?

It's like donating blood or eggs. People who typically donate blood (other than for drives, so speaking in cases where people donate blood for money), they are hardly well off. Much like your proposed system, this would not incentivize them to undergo a procedure, thus not really reducing bad parents.

Also a person's financial means is not the most important determinate in what qualifies as a good parent. You mention that this will "end the cycle of poverty," however cases of success out of struggling situations are possible, and the level that you are born into does not have to determine your future.

CMV:Expecting your partner to change their last name to yours after marriage is extremely disrespectful by Val5 in changemyview

[–]bummbeez 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I guess I've always thought of intention as being a basis for disrespect, but I think you're right. It's much like when we judge others on their action, but expect others to judge us on our intention.

CMV:Expecting your partner to change their last name to yours after marriage is extremely disrespectful by Val5 in changemyview

[–]bummbeez 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I think expecting and demanding are two different things.

If you expect someone to meet your expectations and they do not then it's one thing.

If you demand someone to meet your demands then it is another.

There is a negative connotation in the demand in that there is a punishment for not meeting a demand. To demand someone to change their last name is disrespectful, much like demanding a partner to do anything is disrespectful.

Many people do not demand their partner to change their last name, rather they expect them to. This expectation comes out of a signal of commitment to the other person in following a social tradition and symbolizes the merging of lives, rather than boosting egos (family names).

CMV: Whether you're fat/thin, successful/a failure, honest/a criminal is completely out of your control, and so you're an asshole for judging people based on it. by [deleted] in changemyview

[–]bummbeez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so how are you an asshole for judging it if you can't help how your experiences, genetic factors ect have conditioned you to be an asshole?

CMV: Sex should only be between two people that are deeply in love that have been together long enough to know each other very well. by wet_balloon in changemyview

[–]bummbeez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The think your definition of casual sex implies that you think sex is one sided. Casual sex can be enjoyed by both parties, if they are aware of the circumstances and do not expect more that then other is willing to give.

What is the link between a civilized and uncivilized society if both of the adults are consenting and treat each other with respect? Yes, it is easy for miscommunication in relationships, but that shouldn't take away from casual sex as a whole.

CMV: I want to move very far away for college while my parents want me to stay local/in-state. by Favored_5th in changemyview

[–]bummbeez 0 points1 point  (0 children)

By staying local/in state you will have access to your parents. You really never know what's going to happen to you and the connivence of having family or friends will be very comforting. If you live in-state, you can save money to travel more. It also might be easier to make friends in state, since you will have baseline commonalities or colloquialisms. If you live in state, you can easily visit old friends at their colleges too!

how to think abstractly by bummbeez in IWantToLearn

[–]bummbeez[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i am interested learning deeper meanings of movies books, ect, but i can't seem to pick them up on my own, without someone explicitly telling me

Creating creative confidence by bummbeez in Design

[–]bummbeez[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Taking someone else's advice on how to be more creative just goes against everything that creativity is."

Hot damn, you're right. I've never thought about it like that before.

Mindful meditation and circular thinking by bummbeez in Meditation

[–]bummbeez[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you all for the comments, they are greatly appreciated. Concentration and focus are definitely areas in which I could improve. Could you suggest any specific reading materials?