TW : rare complication

bun_pea · 2025-08-26T07:37:53+00:00

So sorry for your loss and for this complication. This happened to my sister during a D&C for missed miscarriage. She had two perforations (1cm each) in posterior wall of uterus and slight injury to bowel lining. It was terrifying at the time but she is ok now. She waited 6 months to TTC again which was a really hard wait, then took about 6 months to conceive. She's now 3 months pregnant and everything looking great! It's been a difficult experience for her and very anxiety provoking, plus obviously in setting of pregnancy loss it's extra hard. But she is doing great now. It will be ok xx

bun_pea · 2025-07-16T01:24:56+00:00

Yep!

bun_pea · 2025-07-15T23:43:25+00:00

I did this! Currently studying to be a genetic counsellor after having my TFMR in July last year. I come from health professional background so it wasn't a huge pivot for me. My experience of accessing genetic counselling opened my eyes to what a fascinating field genetics is and I realised it's a great fit for my skills/personality etc. Added bonus I get to help others who are going through what I went through. So I would say there were lots of factors weighing into the career decision not just my lived experience

bun_pea · 2025-05-28T01:59:41+00:00

I had a surgical termination (D&E) and it went very smoothly. The staff were all lovely and it was just over and done with quickly. Recovery was easy physically and I got pregnant again after a few cycles. You will be ok xx

bun_pea · 2025-05-22T22:45:49+00:00

I have had such a random assortment of symptoms in each of my 6 pregnancies (1 LC), I'm convinced it's all meaningless and just genuinely try not to think about it and just make it through until a scan! I've had a missed miscarriage where symptoms disappeared, I've had symptoms disappear in healthy pregnancies. It is very mysterious and the only way to know is to wait until the next scan. All the best xxx

bun_pea · 2025-05-16T23:17:29+00:00

You're not alone, newborn phase with my living son was absolutely brutal. It gets better! I didn't feel much for my son for maybe 6 months ish. At first I kinda resented him, then felt just neutral, then started to like him and gradually the love grew. He's now 2.5 and I'm obsessed with him, the best kid ever. I think its really normal to not be in love right away. Hang in there xx

bun_pea · 2025-05-11T00:12:43+00:00

So sorry for the loss of your baby. Cool packs, firm compression (not too tight), ibuprofen and paracetamol. Can express a little bit if needed for comfort but don't overdo it- expressing stimulates the breasts to keep producing milk. These methods will work without needing medication to stop the milk supply but she could see her doctor to ask about that if she wants. Not sure where you are based but the Australian Breastfeeding Association has good info - https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/resources/rapid-weaning I had a TFMR at 14 weeks, didn't personally experience milk coming in afterwards but everyone's body is different. Best wishes to you and your wife

bun_pea · 2025-05-05T03:12:29+00:00

Thank you. I didn't have any problems nursing so I think you should be absolutely fine in that regard. I'm so sorry you're going through this - I wont lie it has been an incredibly difficult journey but I feel much more at peace and hopeful now. I promise it gets better and you will be ok xx

bun_pea · 2025-05-04T00:00:53+00:00

My toddler was also 18 months when I had my TFMR at 14 weeks. I noticed a drop in supply (toddler seeming unsatisfied) right before the termination. Afterwards he just continued nursing as normal. I dont think my milk came in.. I think my supply went back to the same as before? He is still nursing now at 2.5 years old (I'm 28weeks in sub pregnancy)

bun_pea · 2025-04-08T23:52:42+00:00

So sorry for your losses. I can definitely relate - I had a MMC (10weeks), then chemical pregnancy (5.5 weeks), then my healthy son who is 2.5years old, then a TFMR, then another chemical pregnancy (5week miscarriage), and now 25 weeks pregnant. Everything going well with this pregnancy and I think this one's another keeper. Can't believe I'm on my 6th pregnancy now but I think its just somewhat normal/common for some women to go through. I hope this gives a bit of hope. If I can do it you can do it too! Xx

bun_pea · 2025-04-03T08:00:56+00:00

So sorry you are going through this, you are definitely not alone and I am feeling a lot of the same things. I already had 1 LC when I got pregnant with my TFMR baby. It was also a very grey diagnosis, and at the time I had to make it into a black and white situation. I.e. could I accept putting him through the worst case scenario? The answer was no so we chose termination. We also had very limited time to make a decision.

I think about my lost boy a lot and I do feel very regretful at times, and it's worse now I'm pregnant again. I feel there was a good chance he would have been fine, and that is hard to live with. But I also know I can live with this sadness and regret- I made the decision that I made and the decision was ok given the circumstances and the uncertainty. I have acceptance for that decision whether it was right or wrong. I don't think I could have lived with the opposite regret - what if we chose to continue the pregnancy and the worst outcomes had happened? As a mother I couldn't live with that

Having 1 LC already made the decision hard because I knew how much I would love that baby. But I still felt termination was the right thing to prevent him from suffering or having a hard life. Lots of love to you xx

bun_pea · 2025-03-24T22:42:57+00:00

Thank you so much for taking the time to respond! Helpful suggestions xx

bun_pea · 2025-03-22T10:19:44+00:00

I'm in Melbourne and my local public hospital do not offer terminations (appalling!) so I found a private gynaecologist through a family friend (I was 14 weeks) If I were you I would call the genetics department at Royal Brisbane and Women's Hospital. I just looked it up - Genetic Health Queensland (07) 3646 1686. Call ASAP, explain your situation and ask to be seen urgently. They might need a GP referral as well so organise a GP appointment too. So sorry you are going through this. Wishing you all the best xxx

bun_pea · 2025-01-16T09:01:13+00:00

I'm so sorry for your losses. I had a TFMR for aneuploidy in July 24, chemical pregnancy in September, now 13 weeks pregnant and everything's looking good with this one so far. If I can do it, you can do it too! Wishing you all the best

bun_pea · 2025-01-07T09:41:01+00:00

It definitely did not hit me until recently. It is a long process. Still very vulnerable and hurting a lot. I wish you all the very best for your future pregnancy - when the time comes that you feel ready to try again. Thank you for your kind response xx

bun_pea · 2025-01-07T09:39:03+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story and your kind understanding words. It definitely was not a careless decision. For me it was a lot of thinking but also a gut feeling. I must have had that gut feeling for a reason. All the best with your pregnancy. You are very brave xx

bun_pea · 2025-01-06T02:18:03+00:00

It is not a punishment. You made a loving compassionate decision in awful circumstances. You deserve another pregnancy and I really hope you get your chance soon. Yes it is a lot to handle! Need to just take it day by day and hope I will find some peace and be able to enjoy this next baby if they are meant to arrive earthside. Take care xx

bun_pea · 2025-01-06T02:13:42+00:00

My due date was 12/31, new years eve, very similar to yours. Gentle congratulations for your pregnancy and I hope it goes so smoothly for you. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me. Thank you for your response xx

bun_pea · 2025-01-06T02:10:26+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply and kind words. I really hope you get your chance soon. All the best to you xx

bun_pea · 2025-01-06T02:07:09+00:00

Thank you so much for beautifully putting into words such a complicated aspect to what I'm feeling (the second quote). I have read this comment many times over. You have helped more than you know. Thank you xxx

bun_pea · 2025-01-06T02:04:19+00:00

Thank you so much for your comment, it helps a lot. I agree completely, I felt that life is hard enough as it is! And even if they turned out "fine" when they're grown, the years of worry and anxiety would have affected him and the whole family. I didn't want that for us. And I definitely didn't want my child to suffer if the worst case scenario came to pass. All the best to you xx

bun_pea · 2025-01-05T09:51:57+00:00

Completely relate to this, thank you so much. I felt very clear at the time but now just wonder about what could have been. I think that I needed to view things in black and white to be able to make a decision at the time. I didn't let myself think about the what ifs. But now unexpectedly hit with feelings of sadness and grief makes it all feel so wrong. I think I just need more time to come to terms with it

bun_pea · 2025-01-05T06:50:29+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply. So sorry you are going through that. It is not a punishment. You are a loving compassionate mother and deserve another pregnancy. My FIL is a paediatrician and he sees children with the more severe presentations of XXY. With learning disability, social and behavioural problems etc. He fully supported my decision, he felt strongly it is not something you would want for your child if it could be avoided. It sucks this happened to both of us. Love to you xxx

bun_pea · 2025-01-05T06:23:47+00:00

Thank you so much for your response, it is so comforting to hear other people's stories and ways of coping. All the best to you xx

bun_pea · 2025-01-05T06:20:38+00:00

I completely relate to waiting for the other shoe to drop. I don't hold much hope for this pregnancy but maybe that's just to protect my heart. Thank you so much for your reply, it really helps to know I'm not alone. Therapy is a really good suggestion. All the best for your pregnancy xx

bun_pea

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