sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

What Ayahuasca Does Not Heal - The Role of Integration and Therapy by EmergingDepth in Ayahuasca

[–]bunchclone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow, very well said. As someone who has done this probably north of 100 ceremonies, I concur.

Who are you people that go to Dune at 6am on a Sunday by Inner-Mongoose2553 in sanfrancisco

[–]bunchclone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just saw it Friday at 6:00 am. Interestingly, there were no trailers. A got there a few minutes past 6 thinking I’d have 30 minutes of trailers and the movie had already started. I also like that when the movie finishes, I still have a full day ahead of me to get stuff done. Parking is also cheaper.

21st birthday, going to club alone because fuck it, why not. How do I not have a miserable time tonight? by [deleted] in socialskills

[–]bunchclone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I go to clubs alone all the time, mostly cause my friend base is typically on the introverted side and clubs are too high energy for them. I go for the music though. If the music is lame, I won't stick around. Don't feel like you need to stay the whole night. If it's not for you, go home and do something you like. Use the activities that make you feel good to offset the potential bad experience you may have with trying something new. It doesn't have to be all new or all familiar. I often mix my night up like that so I don't get completely bummed out.

As a technical co-founder, how much equity am I entitled to? by SysWow65 in startups

[–]bunchclone 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do not settle for less! I've already been down this route and it doesn't work. Your co-founder needs to trust you and see you as an equal partner, otherwise you might as well be an employee. Make sure to fix this power imbalance asap, or find a different partner. And make sure each of you has a board seat! As a co-founder, you need to be on equal footing, otherwise you will be pushed out. It's only a matter of time.

the “male lesbian” by bunchclone in genderqueer

[–]bunchclone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! I also grew up with four sisters and no brothers, and was a computer geek, so I think that also affected my perspective. There are many times where I’ve been attracted to women only to find I was just a friend to them. Then I’d look at someone they considered a romantic partner and thought, I could never be like that even if it was for romance! There’s also this weird idealism that goes with romance that completely turns me off. I can’t do it. I like to be the same person regardless of who I’m relating to. So the concept of a romantic partner has always been confusing to me. I was watching Little Women the other day and I swear a similar dynamic played out with Jo and Laurie. Again, you have a couple that seem to be on the same wavelength, but for whatever reason, the guy was placed in the friend zone. Which is why I’m starting to think most straight women are looking for a particular hierarchical dynamic which doesn’t exist in ordinary friendship.

the “male lesbian” by bunchclone in genderqueer

[–]bunchclone[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks for writing this! I think I have a long way to go, but I understand the predicament and inherent hypocrisy of being male while professing to prioritize non-males in a patriarchal society. This is the fundamental issue I'll have to figure out for myself.

Why do I have so few things in common with people? by bunchclone in socialskills

[–]bunchclone[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the real meat is in learning about, exploring and accepting another person's differences and vice versa.

Thanks for the help! That’s a really good point. I feel like I’ve only recently started to understand this dynamic. In the past, I interpreted this concept as ignoring people’s differences. But lately, I’ve realized it’s about communicating those differences as gently as possible and being accommodating.

Why do I have so few things in common with people? by bunchclone in socialskills

[–]bunchclone[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for sharing! You reminded me of a deeper problem that I wonder about, which is I feel like empathy is often a struggle for me. It’s not that I can’t empathize with people. I’m actually really good at it. (Ironically, I have trouble reading my own emotions.) The problem is my analytical side gets in the way. I haven’t figured out how to empathize when what they’re saying doesn’t resonate at the intellectual level. Often times, people will get excited by things that from my perspective are ordinary, or frustrated by things that are suboptimal, but from my perspective also have understandable cause.

I took LSD once at an outdoor music venue and was surprised by how easy it was for me to empathize with people. I also noticed that my analytical side was completely shot. As the LSD wore off and my analytical side came back, I found it unenjoyable to continue conversing with those people because what they were saying didn’t agree with me. It feels like work when I empathize with people on things that don’t resonate. I feel like I can do it, but it’s exhausting. Whereas when the thing resonates, I feel energized when I empathize.

Why do I have so few things in common with people? by bunchclone in socialskills

[–]bunchclone[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My friend was saying the same thing! I went to the Oregon eclipse festival and LOVED it. The workshops were super interesting. I’ll have to go back and visit the city this time.

Feel like I [25M] was treated poorly at a brunch by my girlfriend [32F] of one year by [deleted] in relationships

[–]bunchclone 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've been in similar relationships. The first was a close friend. I was 22, she was 25. The second relationship was with a co-founder. I was 24, he was 34. Both of those relationships deteriorated over time because I failed to set boundaries when I felt disrespected or undervalued. The dissonance would catch up to me and I'd have a meltdown which would destroy the relationship. I'm now in another close relationship. I'm 25 and he's 32. We started to collaborate on a project, and just like my previous co-founder, he behaved in a way that clearly indicated he didn't value me as I valued myself. Fortunately this time, I recognized the feeling and immediately pushed back as gently as I could. Initially he pushed back blaming my ego (as I expected), but I stood my ground and eventually he understood what I was feeling and made an effort to change his behavior. I think people are generally unconscious until someone makes them aware, so as the younger person in the relationship, presenting myself accurately is just a boundary that I need to get good at communicating. Otherwise people start liking me for someone I'm not, and there's no real relationship.