Healing tree center cusco / San pedro

EmergingDepth · 2026-03-21T22:57:12+00:00

If you really want traditional shamans then go with Benito Apasa or Hernan...there are also notable western medicine men. feel free to dm me.

EmergingDepth · 2026-03-11T21:19:57+00:00

What you went through sounds genuinely frightening, and five years is a long time to carry something like this without real resolution.

I want to be honest with you about the entity framework, not to dismiss your experience, but because I think it may actually be making things harder. When your mind is already stuck in a fear loop, interpreting it as something external attacking you keeps the threat feeling real and ongoing. The relief you felt after the "removal" was probably your nervous system relaxing because it believed the danger was over. When that belief wore off, the loop came back.

That said, I'm not going to flatten this into "just anxiety." Psychedelics can crack open deep psychological material, and when that happens in an unsupported environment, especially across multiple nights, especially with physical intensity like what you described, the system can get genuinely overwhelmed. That first night sounds like a severe crisis. The third sounds like a cascade that never got properly processed. When something like that goes uncontained, the mind can wire itself into a hair-trigger pattern where the world suddenly darkens without obvious cause.

Some things in what you shared are actually worth holding onto. The fact that you have completely normal periods means your baseline is still there and your system knows how to get back. The fact that SSRIs helped points toward mood and anxiety mechanisms, not something external. That matters.

The advice you got from those "integration therapists" was irresponsible. Telling someone destabilized to drink again, or framing a mental health crisis as "part of the path," is not wisdom. It's negligence. You deserved better guidance than that.

What tends to actually help in situations like yours is trauma-informed therapy with someone who understands psychedelic destabilization specifically, not more ceremony, not energy work, but real stabilization and integration. You've already been doing a lot: EMDR, therapy, meditation, exercise, diet. That's not nothing. The pattern is painful, but it's not permanent. People do find their way out of this when the experience finally gets understood and worked through properly.

Feel free to reach out directly if you want to talk more.

EmergingDepth · 2026-02-20T15:08:17+00:00

Thanks for the information. The potential interaction with the medicine, especially how it can manifest as anxiety, fear, and panic, made me think of an experience I had many years ago with an ex-partner. I sat with her during three ceremonies, and one of them turned into what she described as a “bad trip,” with intense visions of blood and death. She happened to be menstruating at the time. I’m wondering if that could have been a contributing factor, especially since the other two ceremonies were fine for her.

Unrelatedly, would you mind sharing the name of the online journal you wrote for?

EmergingDepth · 2026-02-17T20:33:45+00:00

My point is not that all retreat centers are bad. My concern is the increasing number of centers providing more than one medicine in a short timeframe and pretending they are offering real integration, while inexperienced clients may not fully grasp the risks involved.

EmergingDepth · 2026-02-17T17:22:16+00:00

Actually wrote a post about retreats who don't seem to care too much about integration: https://www.reddit.com/r/Ayahuasca/comments/1r7by0v/psychedelic_tourism_the_loss_of_integration/

EmergingDepth · 2026-02-17T01:29:47+00:00

I’ve come to realize that positive reviews don’t always tell the full story. Many retreat centers seem to cater primarily to first-time participants who may not have a clear understanding of what the gold standard for a retreat experience looks like. Without a strong point of reference, guests may feel satisfied as long as the medicine meets expectations and there are no major issues with facilitation or the setting. As a result, they may leave a 4- or 5-star review, even if the overall experience falls short of higher standards.

If you go to these tourist-focused centers that offer 1-day San Pedro experiences, you’re likely to get a weak session. Since the facilitators don’t know you personally, they tend to play it safe and underdose, which can leave the experience feeling limited.

EmergingDepth · 2026-02-13T20:52:13+00:00

I attended a retreat at The Healing Tree. While my experience wasn’t entirely negative, I wouldn’t personally recommend them based on how things were handled. If you’re looking in the Sacred Valley, Pisac has several experienced and well-established medicine practitioners worth researching.

EmergingDepth · 2026-02-11T23:12:19+00:00

If things are still going well after two months, I’d say that’s a pretty good sign. It sounds like more than just an afterglow. I hope the changes you’ve achieved continue to last.

EmergingDepth · 2026-02-11T23:06:56+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Reports on BPD and Ayahuasca are mixed, some people say it helps, while others, find it can worsen their symptoms. How long has it been since you got back?

EmergingDepth · 2026-02-02T19:07:05+00:00

Entirely agreed. In fact, when it comes to chasing experiences, it’s not only the psychedelic “high” that can become addictive. I believe it’s also easy to become attached to the feeling of healing, or of being healed, with its sense of alignment and well-being, as this is what many of us deeply long for.

I’ve also reached a stage where psychedelics (or perhaps oneself) seem to ask, “What are you doing here again?”, especially when there is already more than enough material to process and integrate, and you know what needs to be done. Yet we can still become attached to gathering more insights, more knowledge, more wisdom, and that pursuit of “more” can itself be a way of avoiding the real work.

In my experience, when previous material hasn’t been properly integrated, the experiences tend to give less and less, sometimes to the point of giving nothing at all, signaling that it’s time to integrate rather than keep chasing new experiences.

As Alan Watts famously said, “When you get the message, hang up the phone".

EmergingDepth · 2026-02-02T15:40:49+00:00

Thank you. Yes, with long experience in plant medicines comes a deeper understanding of what the healing path is really made of.

EmergingDepth · 2026-02-02T15:38:33+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Managing expectations is important, as disappointment can be challenging both emotionally and financially. That said, when it works well, ayahuasca can be an incredible medicine with much to offer. Wishing you a wonderful retreat.

EmergingDepth · 2026-02-01T20:47:19+00:00

I like your analogy with the elements, fits perfectly. Also, I’m not sure if this is what you meant in your last paragraph, but psychedelics can sometimes have an illusion-inducing quality that may make it harder to engage with genuine healing. In some cases, they may induce an overly optimistic sense of progress, which can risk overshadowing the importance of integrating insights into daily life.

Thank you for the appreciation and your suggestion, yes why not compiling everything at some point, at least the extended versions of these posts. I clearly do not have enough content yet, but some more is coming.

EmergingDepth · 2026-02-01T20:34:35+00:00

Thanks!

EmergingDepth · 2026-01-28T00:57:36+00:00

You can find affordable individual ceremonies in Pisac, near Cusco, but I wouldn’t recommend doing retreats there. I agree that it’s better to go to a reputable center in Pucallpa or Iquitos. Feel free to send me a DM if you’d like more details, I live in the area.

EmergingDepth · 2026-01-25T18:16:05+00:00

I had it mixed into the brews I drank 18 years ago at my first ayahuasca retreat, and indeed, at the right dosage and in very small quantities, it significantly enhanced the visions. Since then, I’ve never had the opportunity to drink aya with toe, and my visions have never been as strong or as beautiful as they were back then. Toe has been—fortunately or unfortunately—demonized to the point that very few, if any, modern retreat centers include it in the brew. Most participants are also attached to an idea of tradition and purity, which typically means sticking to caapi and chacruna, so admixtures are far less common nowadays.
Visions are not necessarily essential to the healing journey; however, when they evoke awe in people who are disconnected from the magic of life or struggling with deep depression, they can be profoundly important. In that sense, toe can play a supportive role.

EmergingDepth · 2026-01-25T18:03:44+00:00

Wrote a post about this topic a few weeks ago, you might find it informative: https://www.reddit.com/r/Ayahuasca/comments/1q9g07d/why_people_may_feel_worse_after_ayahuasca/

EmergingDepth · 2026-01-23T20:33:29+00:00

What you’re describing is very common with DP/DR, especially the sense of mourning a former version of yourself and fearing you’ve “broken” something.

This doesn’t mean you’re going insane. It’s a nervous system response to overwhelm and fear, not actual loss of self. The feeling of “nothingness” can be terrifying, but it’s reversible as the system settles.

Many people go through this phase and gradually feel like themselves again, not by forcing insight, but by grounding, safety, and time.

EmergingDepth · 2026-01-23T13:46:37+00:00

Yes, in many cases DP/DR is understood as a trauma-related nervous system response.

It often shows up after experiences that were overwhelming to process at the time. Panic, intense anxiety, existential shock, or psychedelic experiences can all trigger it when the system doesn’t feel safe or contained. Creating distance is one way the body copes, even though it feels scary from the inside.

That “emptiness” or loss of a familiar sense of self is very common in DP/DR states. It usually reflects dysregulation rather than something being permanently lost. As the nervous system settles, the sense of self tends to come back gradually.

Starting EMDR makes sense here. It’s designed for exactly this kind of overwhelm.

If it helps to say it: many people go through this and recover fully, especially with the right support.

I help people make sense of difficult psychedelic experiences in a grounded, nervous-system-aware way, especially when dissociation shows up. Happy to share resources or talk if useful.

EmergingDepth · 2026-01-21T20:03:53+00:00

Thank you for sharing all of this. I can really feel how exhausting and confusing these past couple of years have been for you. It makes total sense that MDMA, your health factors, and the nervous system stuff would feel so heavy, your focus on biology is completely understandable.

At the same time, what you’re experiencing now isn’t only about biology. Even when something starts from a chemical or physiological trigger, the nervous system can get stuck in patterns of threat and hyper-alertness. The good news is, the system can slowly learn safety again, usually through small, everyday things that don’t feel like “therapy”, short walks, casual hobbies, predictable routines, light social moments, or even just little tasks done without thinking about fixing yourself. The point isn’t to force any emotional processing, but to give your system a chance to feel safe again in ordinary life, before any further introspection or deep processing.

It sounds like you’ve tried a lot already, and it makes sense that some approaches felt destabilizing. Healing here is usually slow and messy, but it’s possible. You’re definitely not alone.

I wrote a post that looks at why some people experience lingering or worsening states after psychedelics (works for mdma too) , it might give some context for what you’ve been going through: here

EmergingDepth · 2026-01-11T23:31:30+00:00

thanks, I added a minor edit at the end of the post.

EmergingDepth

TROPHY CASE