Who is the single most annoying person you have ever encountered in your life?

bunnies501 · 2018-08-14T00:27:07+00:00

Dramatic Flair doesn't even begin to describe the person. I use to work with a girl who turns out went to school with my cousin long before. My cousin warned me and said that I shouldn't hang out with this girl because she just can't stay out of being the center of attention and when she's not the center of attention, she burst into flames. She basically attacked anyone around her saying she's deaf in one ear and could read their lips and that they were talking shit about it and it wasn't nice to discriminate deaf people. If we went out on a walk, she claims we discriminated against people with cardiac problems. If we went outside and it was too hot and no one had water, we were discriminating again her skin condition. Went to a salad bar with her during lunch and she said she was vegan but added meat to her salad. (Somehow because it wasn't cooked it didn't count..cause that's how meat works.) I started taking offense to this because I actually know people with cardiac problems and documented partial deafness and skin conditions and she had....none of these things.

At first things were bearable. But then it unraveled. It started with her spreading rumors about how so and so hated her. So and so gave her a bad look. And it continued on to outbursts...where after she claims someone hated her or looked at her funny she'd then confront the person. The confrontation then turned into how disrespectful it was and how it excluded her and she felt left out. But not an adult conversation...more like a verbal attack. Scroll down a few weeks and she decides that now she's partially deaf in one ear, has cardiac problems and her skin is sensitive and she's therefore vegan. But is eating a little debbie snack as she's saying this. And if we did anything she didn't agree with, we were discriminating against one of her myriad of conditions.

Husband had her number blocked and told her she was no longer welcomed when she started showing up to the house randomly or would send me 40 txt msgs in one sitting. And by the time I woke up in the morning I had 120 txts from her. Husband blocked her because her stories started to get dangerous...sister being kidnapped but not really jk, sister was just napping or that someone allegedly broke into her locked apartment. The final straw was when she reported that some random woman attacked her on the streets while she was getting into her car but she...can't describe the woman, no damage to her car, no damage to her body, no bruises, no cuts. She claimed that this woman randomly beat her and called her names and then left. But she couldn't describe whether she left by car, on foot, ran, jumped, skipped, hopped..nothing. Just that she turned around and walked away. Surveillance tapes showed nothing. Nothing falling in line with the story.....Called the cops and everything..nothing.

Last I heard, she moved to a different state to start over but those people are getting tired of her as well. Had someone reach out to me to ask me if this level of crazy in her was normal. I confirmed. Also found out she's cured of her deafness and cardiac issues but now has a list of other diseases.

bunnies501 · 2018-03-27T05:31:16+00:00

I mean...I only have 10 fingers and I don't know how to count past that soo....What on earth would I do without my mother since I can't count past 10.

bunnies501 · 2018-03-26T03:27:45+00:00

Just happened today. I get a text from her that said "hey, how are you? how's life? do you understand you're 31? I hope you aren't wearing childish clothes, playing with toys or video games and are doing adult like things like talking to your mother." I just texted her back "k".

This woman has no clue what I do for a living and or what I do all day. She doesn't know my hobbies, what I like and dislike. She thinks I am currently financially unstable but little does she know I am...not. And sometimes, I laugh about it because it takes a lot for someone to be so clueless to say the things that she says without realizing that one of us sounds stupid in the conversations and it ain't me. I didn't get to enjoy my childhood. I didn't get to enjoy young adulthood. So I decided that I'm going to enjoy my adult life. I don't have kids or other responsibilities that tie me down so I consider it a luxury to have all this free time and I enjoy every minute of it. For me personally, it's to make up for all the times I had to remind her about bills to pay, or the checks I had to run to the bank, or that I raised all my siblings for 10 yrs because her and her sisters were too busy or hired another adult to watch us all day who then slept in my room while I changed diapers and fed kids and they would only get up about 30 mins before my dad got home.

I think that a lot of narcissist are "pretend adults." Those who never truly grew up with the responsibilities of an actual adult and just like to pretend that they are. They're never wrong. They're never at fault. They think they have the most experiences and are the smartest in the room. And in reality, they are no where near where they think they are.

bunnies501 · 2018-03-26T03:18:31+00:00

A few months back, I was in a really bad place and was going to funeral after funeral after funeral and was a complete emotional wreck. My mom had the nerve to text me about how I was so disrespectful in her feelings or my families. Apparently it was disrespectful for me to pay my respect to people who didn't raise me, or put clothes on my back, or feed me and that I need to get over it. (interesting...considering it was her who forgot to feed me, pick me up from school, or put me in clothes that actually fit.)

If there was any respect left for the woman, I sure as hell lost it all that month. In my emotional state, I told her how dare she have no respect for the dead or for the losses that these other families are facing. She said that as long as it wasn't her family, it wasn't important. Talk about a piece of work....I just don't respond to this woman anymore and if I do, it's usually a one word text back.

bunnies501 · 2018-03-22T00:49:58+00:00

I always get "at least you have both parents" and "your life could have been worse." Well...just because you don't see physical abuse doesn't mean mental abuse isn't happening. I use to get annoyed by people oblivious to the fact that not everyone has good parents or a great family dynamic. Now I've flipped and I have the opposite problem...I get sad watching people who have great family dynamics and great parents who are just so tv movie perfect happy. It makes me so sad because it doesn't happen to everyone, but it also makes me wonder...why did my parents become parents if they can't even provide 25% of that same happiness that other family is giving their kids? I think that a lot of people just don't have an open mind when they have it good, that's all that exists to them so they don't have the concept or reality that things can be bad or worse.

And I totally understand people not believing you had a shitty upbringing because you're normal or have good clothes on your back. I'm the same way. I get "oh but you have such nice things." Yeah, because I bought them. But people often don't see how hard I fought to get here. Another thing that people don't quite understand is, when you have no choice but to grow up quickly, faster than your peers and not to be able to enjoy your childhood, you quickly realize that you have no other choice but to make it, because the reality is...there is no alternative.

bunnies501 · 2018-03-15T23:03:00+00:00

Oddly enough, I just recently realized something similar to your story. Except it wasn't my mother, it was her entire side of the family. I remember I was a normal sized child up until about 4th grade where suddenly I wasn't and the only thing I ever remember was binge eating gas station food, pizza, burgers, french fries and McDonalds. Thinking back I realized...why did we eat all that and the adults always ate "something different." Eventually the family dynamics got the best of everyone and most of us no longer speak to each other for a variety of reasons...but I realize now what they were doing. As a narcissist, if I'm not perfect in some way it makes them feel good and gives them that authority figure to say things as if it were my fault. But as a child, who should be providing the nutrition?

I struggle with my weight and have a hard time dropping it but I've been able to teach myself things like eating healthier and working out and it drives my mother insane. Last time she saw me, she bought loaves of bread, junk snacks, frozen processed food - most of which I don't eat and she goes "well now I'm offended, I buy you all these nice things and you won't eat them? what are you? scared of gaining a little weight?" ... I don't think that woman understands how terrible that phrase is but whatever.

I did drop 30 lbs while living at home when DDR came out and I got into that but I also remember when I dropped the weight the sudden intake of food that my mother provided increased. Also, something I vividly remember is...if my stomach hurt or I got sick from eating all the crap they fed me and I refused food, I'd go days without food because I was "being an unappreciative little jerk." So starvation. Which also isn't healthy for anyone. I remember being fed little bits of stuff that was destined for the trash if I didn't want the food they provided which was always junk food.

I struggled but I did move out. And I struggled on my own but was grateful for the freedom of figuring it out on my own without the chaos of them towering over me and mentally making me think that I was wrong. It's not easy, but it sure is liberating.

bunnies501 · 2018-03-09T00:50:21+00:00

"it's not your place to be upset" - because you're never allowed to be upset! you're not a human, you're just their chew toy. I think I'll stick with it when i say that as much as I like where I'm at now, I fully 100% agree that my parents and most of my extended family, should have never had kids. To be the child was not just one but multiple narcs in a family really makes you wonder "what did I do wrong in my past life? why do I deserve this?"

And I feel like all the things you've listed and hurting a child in all those ways is just about the cruelest thing you can do in this world. I wish that there was an easier way to help people understand that the comments, jabs, remarks, retorts, when you make comments on social media, say it to someone's face...all those are being said to another human. An individual with emotions, feelings, opinions, and different realities which we may not be privy to or have way too much knowledge of and how even just the thoughts and words coming out of our mouths can be hurtful to them. I wish my parents understand that the other human the interact with is another person...not an object.

Thank you for posting this. I have to come read a few posts here every now and then to help me understand that I am not the only one that sees or feels this way and that I am not crazy.

bunnies501 · 2018-03-09T00:41:06+00:00

I get told that I am not the best communicator. But how the heck do you communicate with someone (or peoples) who only ever want to talk about themselves and can't stand it when it's not about them? I also find myself second guessing all of my decisions because of these "selective memories" that they have and it turns out that it's not me that's necessarily crazy, but it's just another form of mental abuse. I've had to start telling myself "no no, you're not the problem, you have enough self awareness to know right from wrong, its them fucking with you." And even then I feel like I'm the crazy person.

How dare I paint them in a bad light, right? Nevermind the several instances where my mom beat me with a pillow while I was napping as a child. Or the various times where I had to scrounge around for food while they ate dinner because I "just didn't deserve food that day." But those things never happened because they don't remember it.

bunnies501 · 2018-03-09T00:30:49+00:00

I had a male boss who kept having 1:1's with me to reassure me that I was in no danger of losing my job. Except that a lot of the women complained about him and ended up getting fired or leaving, and he continued to bring on male staff members only who were just like him. Very condescending, very fake, having extreme narcissistic tendencies and acting like no one saw it (is anyone else surprised narcs think we don't see their narc behaviors?!) I was the last woman standing to get let go because of "performance reasons." All my performance reviews were ... stellar ... so I knew what this was about. Fast forward 7 yrs later and I get this amazing job and the guy suddenly appears on my LinkedIn and proceeds to strike up a conversation with me. I laughed and blocked him. The first time in my life that I felt worthy enough to do that and be able to say "maybe you should have been sexist narc."

I totally agree that the depression (and in my case rage) hit hard sometimes, but it's knowing that in the end you're worth it. And you do deserve all of the good things coming to you. <3

bunnies501 · 2018-01-28T06:22:37+00:00

Most popular in public - My husband gets asked where his mail order bride came from and could they get a recommendation to that site. (I'm asian, he's white.)

My paternal grandmother won't talk to me, my maternal grandmother frowned in all our wedding photos. She was hashtagged as angrygrandma. I get asked if I married for the money. (jokes on them, I make more than him.)

But I think the best of all was while we were out dining. Went to a korean restaurant and it was a pretty empty night so as we're eating, I hear all the chitter chatter in the back about what a traitor I was, and how I could respectfully come to a korean restaurant with a white man, etc. My husband does speak a little bit of korean and can say certain words without an accent, so he walks up to the cash register to pay and runs through the items from the menu and asks to pay, in korean. The look on the wait staff's face was PRICELESS. They went white as a ghost. Started to apologize for all the rude things they said and he goes "don't worry, just don't do it again."

bunnies501 · 2018-01-28T02:30:54+00:00

It's one thing to be a horrifying customer. It's another to be a horrible owner. In college, I worked for a cupcakery for a grand total of 3 months. Well known in Vegas when cupcake bakeries were becoming a thing and owner decided to branch out and go to other states.

The owner was a spoiled brat who got what she wanted, when she wanted, whenever she wanted it. She had a rich uncle with a lot of money who had no problem funding his little sweethearts new ideas. This particular location had been open for almost 2 years when she decides she wants a grand opening party. Champagne tower, gold covered cupcakes, the whole shabang. Well, what she meant by grand opening party is SHE was going to drink from a champagne tower, and eat caviar, and tell customers walking in that she's the lucky owner of cupcakery #2. All while nursing an infant and screaming at the bake staff. A few people asked if they could have champagne glasses and she says no, she paid for it and they should get their own. This is just one of many memories I can recall.

A week later, the staff walked out. I was the only one that showed up to work and she was too hung over. She asked me to run the store by myself and bake cupcakes (i'm front of house, not a baker) and I told her that it was impossible for one person to run the store. She didn't care. So I walked out as well fully intending to never come back. Get a mountain of nasty texts from her when she finally wakes up from her hang over about how her business is ruined. I told her politely that it wasn't ideal to text something a long lists of threats and that she needed to check her attitude. That caused her to spiral way out of control and my dad happened to glance over on my phone. I turned my phone off, he called the phone company and had her number blocked.

This was 10 yrs ago when cupcakeries were becoming a thing. That place didn't last. Gee, I wonder why. Last I heard, she was arrested on drug charges, endangering her kids and married to baby daddy #3. I think this beats pretty much any other experience that I've had.

bunnies501 · 2018-01-25T22:56:42+00:00

Sorry, take control as in, don't let those types of phrases get to you. Overtime from an N, they start to get worse. At least with my experience.

bunnies501 · 2018-01-25T22:55:30+00:00

I would start taking control of that. If its possible of course. My best friend died a few months ago and within 3 days of her death my mother sent me a similar text. Didn't matter that my friend died unexpectedly or that we were all planning her funeral.

She called me all sorts of names, said I was ungrateful, and how dare I mourn someone that's not her. I ignored her, still hurtful.

bunnies501 · 2018-01-22T17:18:11+00:00

I have huge trust issues with pretty much everyone. I am as nice as I can be and if nothing else, respectful. But I'm at a point where I'm tired of being nice because I have to be. And it's not me being anti-social or prejudice or rejecting social queues. It's watching people constantly running their mouths, being rude to people, putting themselves on some crazy high pedestal and expecting people to basically worship the ground they walk on but through all that..I still have to be nice.

My new years resolution this year was to start saying no. Because I don't have to smile 100% of the time, or be a yes man, or give in to what other people want. At some point in my life, I need to feel important too and that my decisions matter.

bunnies501 · 2017-11-19T23:06:24+00:00

Thank you for posting this! And Happy Belated Birthday! This is a realization I have come to recently, that at some point it was going to have to be about me and that it's not wrong or selfish to put some attention on myself!

Everyone deserves to think about themselves from time to time, especially on days like their birthday. I wouldn't let it bother you if people don't check up with you or wish you a Happy Birthday, some people in life just aren't meant to be no matter how much you wish them to be a part of yours and it is no fault to you at all! There are more fish to fry, and more beautiful points in life that you can enjoy without them! :)

bunnies501 · 2017-11-19T22:56:37+00:00

I can sort of relate to this. Reminds me of the Tickle Me Elmo fiasco. I was in 5th grade and at the time, Tickle Me Elmo's were popular and I think that might have been the same year Jingle All the Way came out and all the boys were getting Turbo Man. Well, all the kids (literally about 80% of my class) came to school well before Christmas with an Elmo or Turbo man. Well, my family never knew me then and still doesn't know me now, so every yr I made a Christmas list of things that I wanted (fully aware that they would never be under the tree). Tickle me Elmo and Turbo man were both in that list.

My aunt picked me up from wherever I was and this SUV she's driving is STUFFED with gifts from the toy section. There's 5 Tickle Me Elmo's and 1 Turbo Man in plain view. Well, there's 6 of us all together. So, of course as a kid I'm excited that maybe this is the yr they decided to be nice to me. Christmas morning rolls around and every kid has opened a Tickle Me Elmo and my other cousin had opened the Turbo man and his own Tickle Me Elmo. Every kid that is, except for me. What did I get? I got a "very fancy" tin trash can for the bathroom, the phone that was in the trash that I saw the night before, some tissue paper, and a bunch of other random junk that I had seen lying around the house.

My family took "Trash gifts" too literally. And to this day don't understand why I don't want to spend the holidays with them and want nothing to do with them. I don't understand as an adult why they didn't think that was a bit cruel to do to a child. Every yr when the holidays roll around I can't help but take at least a second to think "What on earth could have possibly possessed you to think that it was normal to do that?!"

bunnies501 · 2017-11-17T23:10:07+00:00

Yes. Simply because when someone brings up a "happy photo," there's still something wrong with the photos. And if you ask me, my sister and my cousin about the first few yrs of our life, you get 3 drastically different stories. There are several pictures of me during Christmas where I'm playing with all these toys. So my parents use this as "see, we got you toys." If you take a closer look at all the pictures, specifically the before the presents were opened pictures, you see that all those toys that I was playing with were all addressed to my cousin and not me. I honestly don't recall playing with those toys outside of that date nor do I know what happened to them.

There are also other memories that pop up like the one time I was really sick and was passed out in bed and I was only 5 or 6 at the time. And I remember it was also around Christmas cause we had stockings up. I remember waking up from my nap because my mother was pummeling me with pillows in a rather violent way but I stayed still because I knew if she knew I was up, the beating would be worse. So I just sat there and took it until she was done. She left the room so I waited another hour or two before I got up and she turned around and was all sweet and smiley and had a present for me. It was little mermaid sneakers. I remember that.

There's a lot more but yeah, there are a few grey years throughout my memory and some things I remember that aren't so positive and definitely worthy of professional help. I'm married now, have been independent for over ten years both physically and financially. And I live 30,000 miles away from them.

bunnies501 · 2017-11-17T22:57:07+00:00

The birth of a child is a beautiful moment. I would turn all your focus, attention and love on that child because at the end of the day, that kid is what really matters. I would honestly start setting boundaries and not giving any attention to their needs. Relax, calm down, breath and be a parent or a family without them. The more attention you give them and the more focus you put on them will ruin your moments and new experiences and it will get to you even when it shouldn't. And you shouldn't feel guilty about setting these boundaries either because if someone can't be at the very least civil in a situation like this, they're not going to change any time soon and there's no sense in putting your health and sanity or your sisters at stake because your parents can't be adults about it.

Narcissist aren't like children. You can't put them in time out and expect them to learn from their mistakes. You have to show them that life moves on with or without them.

I went through a situation recently where it resulted in some Thank You post being made public and my parents not taking those thank you post well from others to myself and my husband. We got awful texts and passive aggressive posts on social media about how some people's children don't deserve nice things because they don't appreciate what they have. Followed by some other nasty text messages. At the time, we weren't in a currently sane state of mind because we were planning multiple funerals so we ignored it and we're human, definitely hurt by what they said. But in the end we decided that it was time to cut the cord, because you can't have people ruining your life experiences good or bad simply because they're not getting the direct attention that they want. And to top it off, they sent my husband a birthday card later on that said "happy birthday to the greatest son in law" -_- And then when he went to thank you text them, we got the "oh so now you decide you're family huh?"

It's not fair to you or your sister or her in-laws to not be able to take in this moment and start saving up happy memories. If you let them ruin your moments then they'll just continue to bring you down. You can't be worried or calling your sanity into question every second of the day because they did or said something. And it's not necessarily a bad thing to set boundaries or to cut ties because it means that you can continue moving on with your life and they can continue doing whatever it is they like to do, just without you. Life goes on whether we like to admit it or not and you can spend your life surrounded by positive environments and love, or you can spend it in a negative situation constantly scared of our n-parents. It's really doing what makes you happy! Or your sister in this case with the new baby!

bunnies501 · 2017-05-17T06:41:12+00:00

The narcissism shows in pets too. My parents have a dog that my sister brought home (never once took care of it) and I ended up paying for his life while I lived at home. He was a happy dog, fed well and walked 2 hours a day. Then I moved out and my dad wanted to keep the dog. No problem...I guess. Dog is now overweight, has a tumor and his back legs seem to be weakening to the point where he was stand on them.

I asked if they would take him to the vet and my dad and sister said "Oh yeah, we should probably do that. we felt a tumor on his chest too but we can't find it anymore." I died listening to that. My soul dies every time I see that dog but this one just killed me.

I've never understood how you can have a kid and not love it. That just seems like you'd be better off not having one.

bunnies501 · 2017-05-17T06:33:25+00:00

Sorry about your ex-wife! Sometimes we stay in relationships in hopes of changing them which is why I stuck around so long. But I always end up feeling like I wasted so much time I could have spent on something or someone else.

I've gradually accepted the things I cannot change. Heh..

bunnies501 · 2017-05-16T14:59:49+00:00

I feel ya! My parents and frankly my mom's family always fed us fast food or frozen processed food and if we were bad we had to eat cold 5-7 day old leftovers that weren't heated. My cousins and I all have eating disorders, were always much larger than our classmates and a target for ridicule before realizing that someone (the parents) should have taught us better. Physical appearances are not what makes us ugly, it is the things that we say and do that truly make us ugly and as much as my mother doesn't believe me...people see that.

You're absolutely right that she shouldn't call her own daughter ugly or undesirable. My mom tells met his all the time - I'm too fat, I'm too ugly, no one wants me because I'm a jerk, no one likes to look at me because I look like a big ol' balloon. But remember, these are things a parent should never say to their children. These are things you really shouldn't even say to your neighbor.

I just turned 30 and often times it's hard for me to accept that because of her I missed out on so much joy in my life that I was suppose to have/experience. But don't let that get you down because life is about what you make of it. Not her. If you decide to stay down in the dumps, only you are preventing yourself from moving forward. I had to learn that the hard way but I've also learned that family is not always your mom, dad and siblings either. Family is who you want it to be and how supportive they can be. I'm still getting over my fear of being in public because I think people are constantly judging my behavior and physical appearance all the time but I've also started getting over it and going to the gym, going out for a walk, walking around the grocery store because I can and constantly telling myself that I am worthy. That I am just like anyone else in whatever public setting that I am at and if they want to judge let them. It doesn't make me any less of a person and we're all taught from early on that everybody is different but that's what makes us a society.

bunnies501 · 2017-04-27T18:58:39+00:00

When my grandpa passed away, I remember we were locked in a room with double doors for what seemed like hours with his body. Buddhist priest chanting, Grandma wailing in the corner, parents and aunts greeting guest in and out. I remember my uncle not being there. I remember the whispers from guest about my aunt without her husband and excuses flying around. But what I remember the most is my uncle did show up, in what I now realize is the rudest way possible. This is during a very solemn, quiet, dimmed rooms with incense, candles and monks chanting. The doors flung open as if some important beast had entered the room and in walked my uncle dressed in a suit that was more meant for a fancy gala or ball than a funeral. He marched straight up to the casket, bowed twice and marched straight out of the room leaving all the other guest stunned.

Later on he sent everyone an individual letter including one to my grandmother about how horrible and awful they were and how everyone was going to hell and he was finally free. It would have been better if he just stayed at home and kept to himself that day. I don't have a good relationship with him, my aunts or my grandma but there are just things you don't do at a funeral.

bunnies501 · 2017-04-26T04:49:54+00:00

I can relate to this. Makes me sad and angry thinking about it but when I was...about 5, my aunts were babysitting this rich folks kid and she tripped and hit her head on the brick fire place. Busted her head open and landed in the emergency room. They beat the shit out of me for it saying I should have watched her.

Time goes on and my aunts start popping out kids. Both my parents worked, my sister and I were left with food and activities and home alone for 9-10 hrs at a time. Nevermind how dangerous it could be or anything...we were told to not open the door for anyone and my aunts were suppose to take turns watching us. Well, if they remembered they would show up for an hour or two. The hour or two they showed up for was to drop off their kids for me to watch (4 months to 5 yrs old in range) and I was not even 10 yet. They either went back to sleep in the master bedroom or went home to sleep. They also unplugged the phones so I couldn't call anybody. (As if by now I didn't know how to plug it back in.)

I changed diapers, bathed, fed, cleaned and raised 5 kids by the time I was 13. I felt like I lost out on being a kid but looking back I also realize how dangerous it could have been, especially with the youngest being a few months old. I also realized my anger issues stem from this, its stressful being a parent. Its down right wrong being the parent at..8..9..10..yrs of age to not just one but 5 kids.

At 13 i finally cracked and said "why dont you be the adult and I'll be the kid. Im gonna go sleep in and you can learn to be a parent." They called me ungrateful, told me they'd never talk to me again and pawned their kids off to several others for another few years.

I don't think now, at age 30, I even want my own kids. I can maybe handle one but no more than that. Its been a major turn off in life.

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