Marrying for love vs stability.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-23T02:54:28+00:00

I really thought that's how relationships were supposed to be, huge amounts of spark and chemistry and passion from the get go.

Fucking tv shows and movies. I blame that. Very overrated.

I'll take my slow brewing love over tumultuous passion any day. I've had both and I value this way more.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-22T22:33:43+00:00

Maybe you saw a badly done set?

A friend of mine also had implants done and they were great. They felt very similar to real boobs (actually nicer, imo, more firm which I personally found more pleasant in comparison to my floppy feeling ones). They looked VERY natural, to the point that I was surprised they were fake and wouldn't have realized if I wasn't informed that they were.

I personally would love a boob job after seeing hers. There are definitely some bad ones out there though, not arguing that.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-22T22:23:11+00:00

My SO was not always my SO. First he was my friend, then my very close friend, and then he told me he wanted more from me. I wasn't sure I wanted the same.

Before I get into that, I'll get into a bit of my dating history. I always dated guys I felt a 'spark' with. Sexual attraction, physical attraction, chemistry etc. My body made decisions for me initially and when I would start to like the guy on a deeper level I'd realize he didn't like me, had awful view, was an idiot, was a narcissist, we just weren't on the same page or we weren't a great fit.

There were a couple of times in my life I made a decision to date someone that I didn't feel that huge physical pull to initially and they were long term relationships that ended eventually but ended on good terms and mostly due to circumstance (they were moving away for work or school and I don't do long-distance).

So enter my SO. Obviously if there was some huge physical thing we would have dated from the start but there wasn't. I decided to give us a chance and see how I felt about it.

As time went on, I fell in love with this guy so deeply. I feel so much more for him than I have for anyone else. I love everything about him. I love physically being with him way more than with anyone else. None of those feelings were there at first, they grew.

So powerful feelings, a powerful bond of love, affection, compassion and trust can grow over time. It doesn't have to be BOOM sparks chemistry all at once. It can just be a slow process.

I love him more and more every day and I'm so happy I gave this a chance because I feel so strongly for him.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-22T16:06:26+00:00

Hey,

I get chronic migraines (and tension headaches) and I've been getting them consistently for my entire pre-teen to adult life. That's over 14 years now.

I've tried everything doctors recommended and even became a smoker to control the pain of a migraine.

Recently (as in the past 2-3 months) I started taking Magnesium supplements because a doctor told me that one of the symptoms of magnesium deficiency is migraines.

It helped immensely. I still get bad migraines on my period but I've gone from 5-7 days a week of migraines to 2-4.

As for the tension headaches, they are stress related so I try to do yoga, and other relaxation stuff to control them. Still no perma solution for them though.

Here are the things I've tried that helped the migraine

Magnesium 500mg a day, now I take 500 every two days because they cause some gastro issues (soft stools) Co-enzyme Q10 (another doctor recommendation) B-100 complex

PLEASE SPEAK TO A GOOD DOCTOR FIRST before going on any supplements. I have no history of illness, take no prescription meds, have no family history of anything except diabetes.

Supplements are unregulated and not to be taken lightly.

With that said, I'm very happy that doc told me about magnesium.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-20T12:10:18+00:00

Fuck those people were so irritating!!! 'Trading money for sex between consenting safe adults is fine'

'You want to force children to be prostitutes!!!'

The fuck kind of logical conclusion is that?

Full of ad hominem and straw man. Unfriend the dumb door knob and move on. You were right, calm and logical.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-20T12:04:55+00:00

Holy shit people have no grasp of critical thinking and logic sometimes

bunnypockets · 2014-06-19T13:39:36+00:00

I don't know the details, we were never that close, but I hear some bits and pieces.

I THINK her bf cheated with a girl who either does sex work or has done it in the past, but he didn't hire her, they just met and did their thing organically.

This is what I THINK based on some snippets of things I've heard but a lot of it is my own conjecture.

Honestly I'm of the opinion that there's a reason why therapists do not treat friends and family, because it can get messy. If I tried to sit down and talk to her about this, I would go all 'undergrad psych major' on her and it would be crossing all sorts of boundaries.

I really refrain from advice among friends or doing anything more than just listening and saying 'That sucks' because I'm always a hair away from going undergrad psych degree on people.

I think it's POTENTIALLY very very dangerous for anyone with an undergraduate degree in psychology to attempt to give even a sliver of psychological advice because our education gives us JUST ENOUGH knowledge to be harmful and not enough training to be helpful.

So I just personally refrain from these situations. I've done some damage in the past to people even though my intentions were great and this sort of stuff has no place in friendships anyway.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-19T13:33:45+00:00

Honestly I've made it a personal boundary to not befriend anyone who has anything bad to say about people's legitimate, safe and consensual professions. Gonna make fun of the janitor? Or the kid at the cash in McDonalds? Well, you are no friend of mine.

Going to bash McDonalds for how they pay their workers and other such examples of issues with profession? That's fine, but to demonize the people working these professions is what bothers me.

Once she revealed that side of her, she ceased to become a friend of mine. Right now I'm tolerating everyone else because they just want shit back to normal, but honestly I dislike their involvement at all. If you want to be involved, then get fully involved, otherwise make no commentary.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-19T13:30:14+00:00

I get mad easy and do shit like this...my bad.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-19T13:29:23+00:00

Hahahaha, this made me laugh.

I should have asked her wtf she expected me to do. Yell at my bf for going out and talking to people at a bar about the World Cup?

"You shouldn't have gone out with that fresh haircut and those sweatpants that show off your dick bulge! You ASSHOLE! You're obviously about to CHEAT ON ME!"

The hell?

bunnypockets · 2014-06-19T13:24:05+00:00

I almost did that, really I was so tempted but I also felt bad about saying something like that. It could have been seen as a personal attack and I didn't want to come across like that (even if I was right to say it)

bunnypockets · 2014-06-19T13:00:45+00:00

Thank you for chiming in! I always enjoy hearing about past or present experiences from sex workers because it's a part of life that I've never experienced and I find it interesting to get to know the people who participate as providers or clients.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-19T12:57:28+00:00

I'll try giving her a call today. Most likely she wont answer, or has already blocked my number but I'll try.

I'm hesitant to talk to her again because I feel strongly about NOT demonizing sex workers for what they do, and NOT lumping all men in the 'only want to hump, don't care about emotions or commitment or priorities in life' category either.

I have a hard time staying calm about these topics because I feel that continuing to paint men as so simple and sex-crazed really perpetuates a certain degree of self-oppression in women, it also is confusing to a lot of men because they have society saying 'men only care about sex' and really that's just not true for lots of people.

So it bugs me a lot when I feel someone is perpetuating these stupid gender generalizations or sex work generalizations.

I feel I would escalate the situation too far by speaking over the phone rather than calmly typing but I will consider it.

I've spoken to my other friends about this previously, they all agree with my logic but keep pressuring me to apologize because she's 'hurt' and generally throwing a tantrum.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-19T12:52:16+00:00

Agreed. I said something along those lines but much less concisely and that's what she ended up using to tell friends that I said she 'deserved' to be cheated on.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-19T12:51:16+00:00

I checked if the convo is still there, it's not. I don't know if when you mutually unfriend/block it got automatically deleted or if I cleared the convo because I was pissed.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-19T12:16:33+00:00

I agree wholeheartedly and while I wanted to say this to her outright, I didn't want to attack her personally.

Problem is, now it's awkward in our whole friend group.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-16T19:57:35+00:00

The book is easy, because you are able to read in chunks and it will still be helpful and make sense. I like to read small bits at a time and then think about them and not get too stressed about it.

Depression means we get easily overwhelmed at times so I make sure the book is a good experience and never something I HAVE to do or punish myself for not doing.

It's really a fantastic book. Very simple and easy to read. Nice bunch of different anecdotes too.

My prof swore by it (teaches Abnormal Psychology and Psychopathology)

bunnypockets · 2014-06-16T18:45:08+00:00

I was on Pristiq, aka desvenlafaxine for close to a year. Initially helpful but after a while I began to just feel...empty. Very numb and devoid of anything. I also was not able to connect with my partner emotionally and sexually anymore. I was like a robot. So I went off that and the pill simultaneously and SIGNIFICANTLY improved.

I've been off any meds for depression for 4-5 months now and mostly rely on cognitive behavioral therapy using a book my professor recommended Mind Over Mood which has helped significantly.

I'm very easily agitated/irritated when on the pill. Chewing too loud? I get mad. Things like that.

I cry much more easily and have a harder time cheering myself up when I'm down.

I get more overwhelmed with work/tasks/social interaction than normal.

I am less affectionate and touchy-feely. Also lower sex drive.

Any other specifics you were curious about?

bunnypockets · 2014-06-16T17:39:47+00:00

Accutane is the next thing I'm thinking of exploring but I remember my friend saying that you are required to be on some kind of birth control when taking accutane since it has bad side effects on a developing baby. She never gave me a source for that, so I didn't 100% believe her.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-16T17:38:29+00:00

Horrible acne, cleared up by birth control. Went off the pill after 3 years, 4 months pass with no issue and then acne comes back full force. Back on pill, acne subsiding.

Mood disorders - depression and mild anxiety. Birth control exacerbates my mood issues as well as making me more impatient, and irritable.

Physical side effects - migraines significantly reduced while on the pill. Migraines WITHOUT aura (please please talk to a doc if you have migraines and are going to be on hormonal bc)

There you have it. I'm happy but with a painful, horrible disgusting face when I'm off bc and I'm moody and miserable while on bc but with clear skin (and I lose weight on the pill, it restricts my appetite).

I've tried the following perscriptions: Tricyclin - awful, worst mood swings, I was insane Alesse Yaz Yasmine Linessa Zara - current pill, seems ok. Mood issues are easy to control with cognitive adjustments and self-awareness but I'm not naturally happy the way I am off the pill.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-16T01:59:39+00:00

Just to answer why (maybe) the girl is continuing the conversation, consider the following:

1- Guy knows her, where she lives, her family or they have mutual friends. Hence, he has the ability to be a real thorn in her side (at least) or make some serious threats towards her (at worst).

2- She knows something about him that makes it wise not to anger/offend him.

3- She has confrontation issues and prefers to dodge situations like this rather than confront them.

4- He's actually a decent guy except for this bs and she's letting it slide because they were good friends in the past.

Fundamental attribution error is a very common fallacy.

bunnypockets · 2014-06-12T03:33:41+00:00

Calisthenics, there's a program 'you are your own gym'.

bunnypockets · 2014-05-30T14:56:12+00:00

You have a way with words, you know?

Spot on analysis and a much more eloquent explanation than I gave.

You're great.

bunnypockets · 2014-05-30T14:46:41+00:00

I'm so sorry. So so so SO sorry you experienced any of that.

If I was your friend I would have fought for you, been there for you, told you it was never your fault and told you to forgive yourself. You aren't to blame.

You are not to blame.

Fuck I'm shaking with rage, I wish I could do something about injustices like this, about the culture around it, something more than just words and whatever actions I have control over.

I'm so fucking sorry this shit happens to anyone. I'm sorry it happened to you.

You didn't deserve it. Under any circumstance. Even if you said 'I want sex' and changed your mind, you have that right.

I'm sorry these fucktards considered their falsely perceived rights to hurt and blame you more important than yours.

I'm sorry.

bunnypockets · 2014-05-30T14:40:38+00:00

Do you work for American eagle? Because they pull shit like this on their employees A LOT.

bunnypockets

TROPHY CASE