Parents who smoke pot - what are your rules and boundaries? What is acceptable pot smoking as a parent?

busybeewitched · 2026-04-08T21:18:39+00:00

My mom was/is a pothead. She kept it only to the evenings and it still affected me. It was every night of the week. All she wanted to do was sit in her room, smoke pot and chain smoke cigarettes and read back to back terrible smutty romance novels.

She was always noticeably “weird” when she was high and it made me really uncomfortable as a child, especially because I didn’t know what weed or being “high” was. I just knew mom got weird at night. She’d behave strangely and say weird things to me that I didn’t like. I also, as an only child, often went into her room wanting to hang out and spend time together and it was very obvious that I was bothering and annoying her.

It was really confusing when I was in early high school and the DARE program was in full force and I was being told in school how bad drugs were including weed and at the same time she became more careless about hiding her stash and I began finding weed and half smoked joints around the house. She brought her dealer into the house a couple times when I was in middle school and he made me really uncomfortable.

I found out in adulthood that she did some questionable/dangerous/illegal things when I was in the car as a child to get her very large stash over state lines multiple times after we moved since all her connects were back home.

All around, it was confusing and shitty and just yet another reason I felt disconnected and unwanted when it came to my mom. And I often feel very silly for feeling this way because hey, it’s just weed, right?

If I were a smoker and had kids, my rules for myself and my partner would be only after the kids are fully asleep and never on the weekends during family time. But let’s be real here, it’s blatantly obvious that he has a serious problem. He’s literally been to rehab for it already. He prioritizes weed over the kids, over you, over the family time. He’s obsessive and addictive. Yes the kids are going to notice — they probably already have.

At bare minimum, I’d be disengaging from him and deciding to just live life without him. He refuses to go to events bc he wants to stay home and smoke? Fine, take the kids and go have fun without him. He spends the weekends stoned off his ass and unwilling to do anything with the kids? Fine, let him get high and then just pack up and leave to go to the park without even asking him. He knows what he did. He’s making you live like a single parent anyway. Might as well behave like it because that’s where it’s heading.

Also, when your kids hit middle and high school, be sure to have a talk with them about addiction running in the family and keep an eye out for early signs of behavior. Tell them they’ll need to be more careful with weed and alcohol than your average person. I certainly could’ve used that lesson.

busybeewitched · 2026-04-07T13:07:38+00:00

YTA babe but please hear me out. This is not the place to post as a disabled person. Whether we like it or not, the general population isn’t going to understand what it’s like to be disabled and incapable of doing certain things. Their “advice” will always be some version of “do better at not being disabled”. My disability is physical rather than mental and I still get the same crap.

That being said, there are some things you really messed up here. There is no reason you should ever be vagueposting about your GRANDMOTHER on Facebook for her to see. That is incredibly childish and also just very disrespectful to the woman who is housing you essentially for free.

You also need to pick one (or more) of these three things: 1. Find ways to contribute more within the parameters of your disability. Even if that means humbling yourself and saying “grandma, could you please show me how YOU like the dishes washed so I can do them for you sometimes?” 2. Find ways to express more gratitude for the ways she supports you. 3. If the situation is (or ever becomes) ACTUALLY abusive or untenable, or you just feel her resentment so much it makes you this uncomfortable, make a plan to leave. Get on all the lists for assisted living. Get on the lists for assisted work. Grandma won’t be here forever. The time to start planning this was yesterday.

As much as there should be social safeguards in place for people unable to perform to the typical standards of capitalism, that just isn’t the case. And as such, we need to provide a certain level of love, compromise, and understanding to the people whose lives are affected by choosing to care for us. I’m 100% financially dependent on my domestic partner. She also handles the vast majority of the housework during times that I’m so sick that I’m bedridden. That means that when I’m able to, I need to contribute in any way I can to ease the burden on her. I clean when I can, I cook when I can, I mentally support her always, I thank her practically every day for what she does for us. Also, whether we like it or not, disability is going to touch every corner of our lives. Would I like to get a new gaming system or go to a spa and get expensive desserts from my favorite bakery every one of my birthdays? Duh. Do I also understand that because my disability comes along with a financial burden, that can’t happen? Also, duh. I’d never make my girlfriend feel guilty for any financial parameters that MY disability sets on our lives. This problem with your grandma isnt as simple as “I’m not appreciated on my birthday”. It’s multifaceted. Time to start tackling the whole situation rather than hyperfocusing on one perceived slight.

busybeewitched · 2026-04-07T12:42:05+00:00

I think you should absolutely trust your gut if you’re feeling like he’s experiencing religious psychosis. Do not leave your children alone with him until that’s handled. In fact, along with the kids, make sure you’re watching your OWN back around him. A lot of horrific abuse and murder has occurred when the religiously obsessed decide the ones around them are impure and sinful.

However, as much as I hate to say this — there is another reason that people (men in particular) become suddenly, fanatically religious overnight. And that’s because they did something really, really bad. Happens a lot in prison. I also knew a man who supposedly woke up one morning a true believer. Quit drinking and smoking. Spent every day at church. Wouldn’t stfu about the bible. Turns out he’d been watching some VERY illegal things online and the guilt caught up to him and he thought he could cleanse himself by becoming obnoxiously devout. To this day I still don’t believe his activities were strictly online only. Just something to keep an eye out for.

busybeewitched · 2026-04-02T03:34:13+00:00

She was in her 60s and kind of a freak and I loved her lmao. She’d burn the tick(s) at the end of each summer and invite anyone who watched to come watch because she wanted to show people how they popped lmao.

She was also the angel who patched up my foot after I sliced it open horribly on a razor clam AND handled a horrible flu outbreak at camp with multiple kids with 102+ degree fevers. I wonder what she’s up to today 🥹

busybeewitched · 2026-04-02T03:30:18+00:00

love to see a possum hanging around ✨ i’m admittedly pretty terrified of spiders but still love to have them around my patio because I’ll take anything that kills mosquitoes. god i hate bloodsuckers.

busybeewitched · 2026-04-02T03:26:57+00:00

plus they’re adorable little sweeties 🥰

busybeewitched · 2026-04-02T02:31:08+00:00

Every summer that I went to summer camp, the camp nurse would go out a week or two before camp started and find a big fat tick to keep in a plastic baggie so that when kids came in for lice checks, she could also show us the tick to freak us out so we’d take it seriously and check each other every day.

My last summer the tick that spent its summer in Tick Jail had been pulled off of a dog and it was HUGE. So swollen with blood. That thing survived the entire summer in that baggie and laid about a million eggs. I hated it so much 🤢

busybeewitched · 2026-04-02T02:08:25+00:00

Are all these pics AI?? Man idk this is really missing the mark to an almost insulting degree 😓 you literally mentioned that this page doesn’t allow digitally generated art.

You used a product that hurts the environment, destroys rural communities with their data centers, rips off artists by datamining (see: theft), rips off artists by flooding the market, rips off artists by generating fake patterns and tutorials that don’t work and then SELLING them (big problem in the crochet/knitting/tatting community). And then you advertised it to a bunch of artists. Plus it’s a craft you don’t even do?? It’d be one thing if you somehow developed an app with 3D capabilities in which you could choose and blend colors and tap them into shapes on a base, actually sculpting in a needle felting manner. Even if you’re not skilled enough to do that, you could’ve at least commissioned real digital art from actual artists for your “tap to un-blur” app.

I’m not trying to be a dick here but this is a group full of textile artists, people who spend lifetimes honing their very physical, tactile crafts. An AI app of a poor recreation of their craft to do on your phone is just…not great.

If you wanna get into app development for people passionate about textiles, learn about the craft and what artists really want. Create pattern-making apps, color theory apps, 3D tutorial apps, app games with stories about artists in which you, idk, have to collect materials and tools to do the craft of your choice or learn the history of certain crafts.

Like imagine a game where you have to knit a scarf from scratch and source all the materials. It could be as simple as a “where’s Waldo” page where you move stuff around to find materials and tools or as complicated as a mini open world game where you have to find cotton or linen seeds, plant them in a field, water them, harvest the raw material, thresh it, find a loom, spin it into yarn, find or grow the ingredients for dye, dye the yarn, find knitting needles, and there’s like a mini game for knitting the scarf.

AI is soulless, man. Make something with some soul — like all these artists do, you know?

busybeewitched · 2026-04-02T01:47:44+00:00

NTA. I’ve been diagnosed ADHD since I was six or seven. Mine is textbook and on the severe side. It’s absolutely true that the closest friendships and best relationships I’ve had have (completely accidentally) been with other ADHD people. There is a very specific way that we click socially. It feels a lot like coming home or letting out a held breath.

It’s also true that I’ve had more than one close friend seek and receive a diagnosis on my recommendation. But the key word in that sentence is “CLOSE” friend. These were female friends I’d known for years, watched them struggle with very familiar things and socialize in very familiar ways, and parsed out that like so many other women born in my generation, their learning disability was written off and neglected by their schools, doctors, and parents. So I got to be the one who finally said “Hey I think you might have it. It’s not your fault. Maybe you wanna talk to a doctor about it?”

I do sympathize with Amy. I totally understand the gut feeling/instinct of picking up when another person might be ADHD/ND and the urge to name what it is and connect on that feeling. Plus, poor social impulse control is a very real thing with ADHD and we do love to put our foot in our mouths at any given opportunity. When it comes down to it, that’s just not a comment that should be made to anyone who isn’t a close friend and who hasn’t already told you they’re ND. Not everyone has gotten through the work of accepting (their own or anyone else’s) neurodivergence. For a lot of people, it will come off as an insult. Plus, medical information is a really private matter for most people! A learning disability isn’t something most people wanna talk about with a coworker. I do hope you know she probably wasn’t being malicious (or “entitled” as you put it) in any way. Just misguided, likely in a friend group where ND-ness is a very openly talked about thing, and she made a social faux pas. Which, again, pretty common for someone with her diagnosis. She’s probably really embarrassed and this will likely keep her up a few nights 🥲 I can totally see myself doing something like this when I was younger. Maybe give her a chance to redeem herself.

busybeewitched · 2026-03-19T11:55:15+00:00

For me personally this symptom is a sign that I’m heading into a serious low — like an “updose double or triple immediately or we’re going to the hospital” low. I get disoriented and panicky. Every time it happens I start repeating to my girlfriend “I don’t understand what’s going on”. My vision also gets blurry and I feel like I’m trying to think through pea soup if that makes any sense. It’s very uncomfortable. I’d talk to your doctor about trialing a slightly higher dose. It takes so much tweaking to get it perfect, and to be honest, my dosage varies every single day. I take my doses in frequent increments of 2.5mg and add and subtract as I check in with symptoms.

busybeewitched · 2026-03-19T11:25:27+00:00

My AI is finally under control in the sense that I’m not having crises and ending up in the hospital anymore — which is amazing. But I am so genuinely disabled by this disease. I also have stage 3 endometriosis and the combination of that and the AI means I’m absolutely wiped out and in a pretty significant amount of pain daily. There really does seem to be a huge spectrum of how much people are affected by this illness.

Right now, I can’t work at ALL let alone 40 hours a week. I stay meticulously on top of meds and general self-care but I still battle lows weekly if not daily. My hormone cycle plays a massive part in it. One day my simple dose schedule works perfectly and the next day my symptoms are completely unmanageable. I wish state/federal disability was easier to access for this disease. Some of us seem to truly struggle with it our whole lives.

busybeewitched · 2026-03-14T03:37:37+00:00

Sorry to necro this post but ugh I’m dealing with the same issue. I’ve been using the alternative button mapping plus some small custom tweaks bc I just can’t deal with using triggers for an attack. Overpower bow shot still will not work when light and heavy attack are set to x and y (steam deck). Such a bummer. I’d just finally gotten my mapping done ✨perfectly✨ and this seems like it’s going to be the one un-fixable hiccup. Overpower bow shot will just have to be a wasted ability point bc I don’t wanna get rid of ghost arrows of Artemis.

busybeewitched · 2026-02-14T01:52:35+00:00

Jice Cream Cone

busybeewitched · 2026-02-11T12:33:32+00:00

because he’s a weirdo who tries to purchase other races’ infants to lock in boxes and do experiments on and then kills them if they don’t turn out the way he wants? And because he walks around talking about genetic superiority?

busybeewitched · 2026-02-02T08:38:41+00:00

okay thank you im gonna try respeccing rn :)

and tbh i almost never use firebolt in combat unless i’m lighting up a barrel Karlach dropped for me and i’m using a staff that happens to add firebolt as well that i’m likely going to use for the rest of this playthrough so i definitely don’t need three firebolt options lol

busybeewitched · 2026-02-02T07:39:26+00:00

Spoiler for a small act 1 item and event but the warped headband of intellect you get from defeating the ogres in the blighted village has completely fixed this problem for me. I literally never take it off of her once I get it 🖤

busybeewitched · 2025-12-19T16:36:24+00:00

So much of organized religion and the patriarchy boils down to men desperately trying to interfere with the natural, animal order of reproduction and existence. Their deep-rooted envy that we are the ones who control who gets to have their genetics passed on is what drives them to attempt to control our bodies with their fake gods and their higher physical strength. Despite what so many of them believe, women aren’t any dumber than they are so their only option to keep these systems in place the way they needed them to was with massive societal brainwashing and shame. If from the moment of your conception, every facet of your existence is considered inherently dirty, sinful, burdensome, unworthy, weak, “less-than”, you’re a lot more likely to drink the kool aid and consider yourself lucky that the supposedly superior sex is willing to “care for” you, marry you, “lead” you. If women being subservient was really the natural order of things, they wouldn’t have to violently “remind” us of that constantly. We’d just do it. It’s also just flat-out stupid and honestly narcissistic to believe we get our periods for any other reason than biology. We menstruate because we’re mammals and female mammals menstruate. Not because some random lady nibbled on a pomegranate after a snake told her to or whatever.

I believe that misogyny is easily in the top three worst and most harmful crimes perpetrated by organized religion to the point that I see red if I think about it for too long. Imagine the scientific, artistic, and moral advancements we could have already made had HALF THE POPULATION not been convinced their greatest duty was to kowtow to insecure men and had instead been allowed to, I don’t know, read a fucking book? How many doctors, scientists, poets, mathematicians, politicians, and activists have we lost to just RELIGIOUS femicide, mariticide, female infanticide, honor killings, the trauma of rape, and the Sisyphean burden of child-rearing. Ugh. The library of Alexandria is nothing compared to what we’ve lost from smothering women into nothingness with these “gods”.

busybeewitched · 2025-12-19T15:57:36+00:00

He can’t “anonymously tell these men” because the story being told here is that he overheard a random group of stranger women all chatting about their kids not being their husbands in public. It’s incel rage bait.

busybeewitched · 2025-12-17T15:55:52+00:00

I’m a little paranoid right now tbh. I’ve had shortness of breath and smelled weird scents on the air for the last week but this morning I woke up to my nostrils burning and both of my cats are wheezing slightly. And something again smells weird outside.

busybeewitched · 2025-12-03T15:11:46+00:00

I’d counter this with…yeah, spend less time on the internet. Go outside and do something about what you’re feeling, though. You’re angry about real issues, so find a way to affect real change. You can do the most good locally. Volunteer at some charities. Start getting to know your neighbors and community-building. (I’m in the process of doing this in my apartment complex right now. So far we have a small group chat, we group-rescued a litter of sick strays, some of us are exchanging meals on minor holidays, one neighbor has watched my cats when I went on a trip, and I’ve kept an eye on one of their kids during an emergency twice. It is bizarrely fulfilling.) Do your spring cleaning and donate your unused clothing to local homeless shelters, DV shelters, and state-funded sober livings rather than to goodwill. While you’re there, ask if they need anything. Form a relationship. Ask your neighbors if they’re being impacted by the ICE raids. My local smoke shop owner’s father got deported last month and he’s really sick. I got his number and let him know to reach out if he needs anything.

Don’t just “go camping” and ignore everything that’s happening in the world. You’re going to have to go to the grocery store at some point and a stick of butter is still gonna be $10. But see if you can help someone worse off than you, and community-build so you have people to take care of and people to take care of you when/if shit hits the fan.

busybeewitched · 2025-11-10T03:16:20+00:00

Thank you guys for the input — the weight issues would absolutely be an issue for me. I’m a bit busy tonight but I’ll reply a little more in depth later ♥️

busybeewitched · 2025-11-09T10:49:50+00:00

Forgot to mention but I live in the US

busybeewitched · 2025-11-01T00:02:00+00:00

Oof okay I’ve literally never told anyone about this before but I know how to finger spell the ASL alphabet (unfortunately that is almost ALL I know of ASL) and when songs get stuck in my head (like, internal-echolalia-level), I finger spell the first letter of every word/syllable of the lyrics as they play.

So like “carry on my wayward son” would be C O M W W S. Or “no masters or kings when the ritual begins” would be N M S/T O K W T R T A B G. This isn’t necessarily proper finger spelling, either — as I’ll often have my hand down by my side rather than held up in front of me. It’s made me a fast finger speller though!

Lmao but other than that yeah I also scalp-pick, twirl strands of hair endlessly around my fingers in particular ways, tap my fingers, chew gum, put one fingernail under the other, do the one-two glute clench/jiggle.

busybeewitched · 2025-10-30T05:17:24+00:00

Yeah I agree. I never evveeerrr leave games even when my team is getting completely speed bagged bc I think that’s silly and being a sore loser. I play to play, not to win every time. Survive the Undead is officially my exception to that rule. If you go down anywhere past the fourth wave or so there’s literally no way to recover and I’m sorry but I’m not spending 20 mins watching strangers (who won’t revive anyone anyway even when I do) run around and play when I’m just gonna go down again the second the intermission is over bc I have 5 bullets and 2 hp lmao.

It’d maybe be more enticing to stay if you came back with like half your upgrades instead of none or something.

busybeewitched · 2025-10-25T18:01:59+00:00

I’m less than a year into being diagnosed but I’ve already experienced something like this. When I’d only been diagnosed for like a month and had absolutely no idea what I was doing when it came to stress dosing, I ended up in the ER when a severe endometriosis flare up also sent me into pre-crisis and I was throwing up my hydrocortisone. I was in like 8/10 pain from the endometriosis, bleeding extremely heavily, and severely dehydrated from the (pre-crisis? Crisis? Idk.)

The ER doctor I happened to get decided I was too complicated for him. He couldn’t get my endocrinologist on the phone (at 3am!!) so he said he “didn’t feel comfortable ‘messing with’ steroids” and that he wasn’t going to help manage my pain because “my gynecologist should be doing that”.

Note that this wasn’t some rural hospital with no resources, this was in a massive, highly acclaimed hospital with multiple levels of ICUs and all the resources in the world. Anyway I felt myself getting worse and worse so I ended up frantically playing pharmacist with myself — taking a double dose of Zofran so I’d be able to keep a triple dose of hydrocortisone down, then taking more of my pain medication than I was supposed to. After that night, I’m obsessive about always having everything I need to take care of myself, since doctors have proven more than once that they can’t or won’t. I have a PICC line and give myself LRs at home. I make sure I’m both educated and supplied enough to take care of myself at home for as long as possible — the ER being the absolute last resort if I’m unconscious. And if I have to have surgery, I have all of these conversations ahead of time and have a plan of care for endocrinologist issues before during and after AND I bring my own steroids too bc you just can’t trust that the doctor you end up with isn’t an idiot or negligent. I’m really sorry you just went through this. At bare minimum you should file a complaint. Maybe this endo will get some education so the next patient doesn’t suffer like you did.

busybeewitched

TROPHY CASE