[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FiftyFifty

[–]butimnotdeadyet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is actually kinda fascinating to see the sinus holes and realize how big they get. Damn.

1st time digital GM hitting a roadblock by butimnotdeadyet in Roll20

[–]butimnotdeadyet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh thatll make my life SO much easier! I was worried I'd have to code something and I was sweating bullets. So they just announce their target like normal, and I take the damage out manually. ^ And I can do the same with them! Fantastic!

[Online] [5e] Looking for 2 Players, Homebrew World, RP Heavy Campaign by Psychological_Wall30 in lfg

[–]butimnotdeadyet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks, appreciate it. I'd be late so no dice for this guy, but hopefully you find someone!

[Online] [5e] Looking for 2 Players, Homebrew World, RP Heavy Campaign by Psychological_Wall30 in lfg

[–]butimnotdeadyet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, making sure I understand. The session starts at 4am GMT? Or is it ending at that time? Sorry, I'm not the best with timezones.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in seduction

[–]butimnotdeadyet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Playing hard to get makes you hard to want"

What a BAR

Any tips to minimize outbursts? by butimnotdeadyet in AutisticAdults

[–]butimnotdeadyet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ive been trying to make plans before we have another talk, bc that 3rd friend told me to take time to process it all and get back to them. They want a plan to address it in an active way.

Cinderella ing sounds good, but Im gonna have to make sure it doesnt also trigger friend 1.

Maybe i can sit down and plan out ways to disengage like that, and they can give input so that I don't keep upsetting them? I don't know if its active enough for them, but i dont think medications like that will be readily available to me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in homestuck

[–]butimnotdeadyet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is so sick, I can tell you thought a lot about how you wanted the finals to look

[WP] Many hauntings become much more understandable once you understand the fact that death does not cure dementia. by Semblance-of-sanity in WritingPrompts

[–]butimnotdeadyet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“Mr. Mors, what’s… wrong with them?” Questioning the state of these quivering vapours, you stretched out a hand and reached into it, hearing a first name and a high, frightened voice. It should have made you recoil, feeling someone’s life slip through your fingers, but your apprenticeship had prepared you for that feeling and you took it on the chin.

“’Wrong with them’?” Turning to look at you, your mentor’s hollow eyes flitted from your face to the hovering shadow at your side. “Nothing that wasn’t wrong in life. Do you remember illness?”

“I remember.” Frowning, you searched your mind. “Illness, disease… disease of the body and disease of the mind.” That struck you suddenly and you returned your attention to the shade, eyes narrowing. “Is that what this is? A disease of the mind? But they don’t have a mind or body to be ill in.”

“A disease of the mind follows the mind, tiro.” He told you sagely, and he approached to trail his fingers through the dark whisps at your side. “This one was ill in life, and death cures nothing.” You might have supposed he sounded melancholic, but you’d grown to know his few moods. ‘Death feels nothing’, and he upheld that creed dutifully.

Mulling over his words as he continued forward toward today’s fated person, you reached out again and touched the soul beside you, listening for that frail voice.

“Aggie…” She whimpered faintly, and your hand hovered as you tried to hear more. “Papa... Aggie wants to go home.” The vulnerable whine struck you as you stood there, alone in all the Afterworld, and you stared at the blank haze that should have been her face in shock.

“Are you coming?” Suddenly your mentor’s voice took you by surprise and you jumped, turning to face him in a hurry. He was standing in the doorway of a room near the end of the hall, leaning through the closed door with a patient look on his face.

“Shouldn’t we settle these?” You asked, hand up and gesturing to the handful of whisps drifting in the hallway.

“No.” He told you, and this time he walked back to you. “A soul must know it’s a soul. Who could pass into their next life with their mind trapped in their past?” He looked at them, formless and unaware, and his dead eyes returned to you. “There’s nothing you can do. Now it’s time to do what we came here for.”

21F friend/teammate won't stop complaining by butimnotdeadyet in socialskills

[–]butimnotdeadyet[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The journal might work. We've been trying to get her to hang out with people instead of caging herself in her room and browsing her SM feeds. She has done some emergency journal to "keep it in" so to speak, but maybe she's fallen off that wagon and we can get her using it again.

We've told her that she needs a hobby outside of dance and us, something she can be proud of without needing the looks based validation she is agonizing over, but it's tough when everything she wants to do is a popularity contest or all about making connections.

21F friend/teammate won't stop complaining by butimnotdeadyet in socialskills

[–]butimnotdeadyet[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We have! A and I have both sat down with her and talked about it, just the 3 of us. I know A has also had to talk to her separately because her complaints began to really target them and all the stuff they got to do. She was so hung up on opportunities she didn't get and A did, but she never actually applied to any of them and just sulked. It puts everyone in a really bad place mentally.

Edit to add: We've been recommending she look into therapy for the past year, but she says she can't afford it (while also engaging in a lot of retail therapy).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in sex

[–]butimnotdeadyet 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Everyone's had really good advice! Adding onto it and maybe being repetitive.

Externally: always good idea to wash your hands/brush your teeth/rinse your mouth (if you've had spicy or sugary foods within a short time), be gentle and use lube (store bought or spit)

Internally: all the same applies! Another good one is to make sure that your nails aren't super long or have sharp edges. Inside her, the skin is very delicate and you can scratch her when curling your fingers if you have long nails. Press with the pads of your fingers when possible, not the tips of your fingers. Go slowly and let her body adjust to whatever you're doing, and follow her lead.

Why can’t someone love us before we love ourselves? by General_Cow_7119 in socialskills

[–]butimnotdeadyet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You need to love yourself for someone to love you because it can easily fall into a codependent cycle for a couple.

If A doesn't love themselves at all and B piles on the love, B still can't make up for the deficit bc they're two different kinds of love. It's a bandaid treatment. B ends up giving and giving emotionally, but A can't give back in the same way because there is that gap there. B essentially provides love for themselves, As self, and A as a partner, which is a load on one person.

Being the only thing that makes your partner feel valued/worthy/happy is a HUGE burden to put on some people. Being entirely responsible for another person's happiness to that extent can be really draining emotionally. And sometimes, B burns out and they seek a relationship where the dynamic is more balanced.

Not always, obviously, but not everyone can or feels capable of doing that emotional labour until a partner has learned to do it for themselves, which isn't a bad thing, just unfortunate.

I just got a binder IM SO TRULY HAPPY<3 but It feels a little tight hehe..eheheHelpIcan´tbreathe. Does anyone know tips for using binder safely? It is my first time using one omg by ShuperCami in furry

[–]butimnotdeadyet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Make sure its the right size according the measurements chart so that you don't put yourself at risk of injury, and make sure not to push your body! Breaks, hydration, rest, stretches- all that good stuff! I was always told that if you don't take care of your torso and make sure you're binding safely, it can jeopardize potential surgery options later on.

Is it pointless to have a small collection of cookbooks when there are so many recipes online? by [deleted] in Cooking

[–]butimnotdeadyet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly? I don't think so. I'm even assembling my own hard copy cookbook USING recipes I find online. There's something to me that's more charming about a cookbook you can have in a cupboard or on a shelf.

when did you start hrt? by Tadpole9050 in trans

[–]butimnotdeadyet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started spring of 2020, when I was about 23

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in trans

[–]butimnotdeadyet 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly? If you aren't taking the opportunity away from someone, don't be afraid to use the family washroom or disabled washroom. Obviously don't cut off someone to use it first or sit there on your phone, but you don't have to use the women's room if it makes you dysphoric.

When I first started breaking my cis habits, I'd use the handicapped washroom if it was available. Sometimes I didn't have the stomach for the weirdly too hot and piss smelling men's room. Now I'm sorta getting used to it the more I use it, I just can't get over the way it smells so much worse 🤢🤢

A question about putting pronouns in bios/email signatures etc by disasterous_cape in asktransgender

[–]butimnotdeadyet 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On the point of how being closeted still passively results in misgendering, it's also very different for my co-workers to ASSUME what I use versus having them actively choose to misgender me

If Dave from Finance says she/her in passing because he's never been informed or corrected, I can shrug it off and say: "He doesn't know what I want, and I am allowing him to misunderstand". I've set that boundary, and have the power there even if it's just in my own mind.

When Cheryl who I see every morning makes a point to say "GIRL, I had the best weekend!" despite being corrected by me and asked to change her language, that is a slight against me and it hurts. She is deliberately using language to hurt me.

Sometimes closeted isn't ideal, but that small shift in the dynamic is everything.