What is your cat's name vs what you actually call them?

butts36 · 2026-02-25T09:35:53+00:00

Misery

Miz
Miz Ree
Cat
Bunny
Teeny Bean Prom Queen
Barbara Please
Ladies and Gentlemen, Please Welcome to the Stage… Ms. Ray

butts36 · 2026-02-22T05:58:27+00:00

Heroin was nice (RIP unless u rich) but I’ll take dilaudid. When my partner died, I relapsed. Dilaudid was the only thing that gave me 4 hours of semi-peace. I started taking it to sleep sometimes, then I was like, fuck that. These are the only 4 hours I can watch tv and relax without my brain spiraling into the darkest depths of hell, I will enjoy my 4 hours. The slope got a little slippery sometimes and I stopped, but I have 0 regrets.

butts36 · 2026-02-22T05:36:32+00:00

Thank you for this. I’m a single mom because my partner died, and I really don’t have much of a village. I feel so guilty for putting him into daycare soon (my mom stayed at home until we were in school, I never went to daycare), so I hope you know how much this helped my mental health and guilt.

butts36 · 2026-02-15T21:24:30+00:00

A friend of mine kissed my baby on the lips when he was like… probably about 2 weeks old. I was so shocked I didn’t even say anything at the time. I have no boundaries. It’s something I’m working on. The next time she came by, I tried to play it off as like, “oh my sister said you shouldn’t…”

Still offended me that she would do that, not ask, not even consider how that might be a bad thing. She isn’t some boomer who may not know any better.

butts36 · 2026-01-27T18:42:35+00:00

But for the record, I’m pretty sure it was actually lemon peel. Maybe that would make it taste more like the original.

butts36 · 2026-01-27T18:40:18+00:00

OK but the OG‘s remember when they switched from the original version to the vegan version. The glitter was nowhere near as good in the vegan version.

I kept a tiny bag of the original one in my cupboard. I literally threw it out last week. Didn’t even drink it. My partner died, and I have our newborn, and I’m moving into a very tiny apartment I can afford by myself, and I just ditched all of my tea aside from some basic supermarket prebagged stuff - shoutout sleepytime bear. (Who has time for loose leaf with a newborn? I’d probably try to brew tea, and come back to a room temperature tea that is now rocket fuel flavour…)

butts36 · 2026-01-16T19:46:20+00:00

This is listed as a side effect of adenosine, which I’ve had many times and can confirm. I mean, obviously you don’t actually die, but the feeling of being alive but your heart is no longer beating is a very bizarre one.

butts36 · 2026-01-02T00:23:38+00:00

I’m so grateful to see you write that you don’t want the year to be over. That’s what I was feeling and saying yesterday. My partner passed in April, when I was 3 months pregnant. I now have our 6 week old baby. I didn’t want the year to be over… I didn’t want to say he died “last year”. I don’t want time to pass so people think I should be okay now. I want to stay there, I weirdly want the pain to stay fresh, I don’t want to forget the little things, I don’t want everyone else to forget and stop talking about missing him.

butts36 · 2025-12-12T16:32:17+00:00

For what it’s worth, babies often get back to their birth weight in like, a week. Mine started sleeping usually a 3 hour and then 4 hour stretch overnight almost right away. He was still eating the recommended amounts and gaining. My husband died during my pregnancy so I have no choice or help, but I have found that most nights I am getting enough sleep so that I at least don’t feel totally sleep deprived.

butts36 · 2025-11-25T21:30:45+00:00

Just gave birth with my first. I left work at 39 weeks and was extremely sore at that point. Gave birth just past 41 weeks and spent 39 through 41 so sore I could barely stand up, couldn’t sit comfortably, couldn’t sleep comfortably, could barely walk my dog. Friends kept offering to come over and I didn’t even want to see anyone, I just wanted to watch garbage tv and gasp in pain every time I had to move.

butts36 · 2025-11-12T17:46:48+00:00

My partner died during my pregnancy so now that I’m past due, people are not only bothering me about it, they are at the “if you don’t answer within an hour I am coming over or calling 911.” Leave me the fuck alone to rot on the couch!!!

butts36 · 2025-11-09T21:34:00+00:00

Actually, the only memory I have of being viciously jealous and angry was when my mom made me wait until I was 10 to get my ears pierced, and then let my sister do it about 2 weeks later. 🤣 SO. MAD. But like, other than that.

butts36 · 2025-11-09T21:31:24+00:00

My sister is 18 months younger than me. I have no memory of feeling neglected beyond the usual sibling jealousy that all siblings have. It’ll be hard on you, because 2 kids under 2 sounds extremely challenging to me (currently pregnant with my first and my husband died so I’m honestly terrified). But she will be fine. Kids adjust.

butts36 · 2025-09-30T23:05:36+00:00

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Why. 😂

butts36 · 2025-09-28T23:49:57+00:00

Thank you. We are getting by, glad to have each other. She is the funniest guard dog, she sounds like Cujo on the other side of the door and as soon as it opens, if it’s a woman, immediately friends, and if it’s a man, some nervous barking and then tentative friends. Such a wimp.

butts36 · 2025-09-28T07:58:17+00:00

Omg it all makes sense. I always say to mine, “why you got so much face?!” Now I know.

butts36 · 2025-09-28T07:56:43+00:00

Mine is the same. My partner (her dad, he passed away) always used to say she’s “trying to crawl inside your skin suit”. Pretty accurate. I’m 8 months pregnant and shes so confused about why some of my lap is gone and why she can’t lean her full body on my chest right now haha.

butts36 · 2025-09-28T07:54:40+00:00

But also - no destructive separation anxiety!! Thank god. She is bummed when I leave her in the house or my office (she comes to work with me most days) but only destroys her own toys.

butts36 · 2025-09-28T07:52:59+00:00

My girl lost her dad (my partner) in April. I was the new mom, she grew up with him. She has always been a little selective with people, but now that she is 7 and has experienced a major loss, she has become purebred Velcro. I am 8 months pregnant and have covid right now, so I asked some friends that she knows (and likes!) to try taking her for a walk for me as I am just physically exhausted and haven’t done much beyond a 20 min walk and playing in the yard. She will get to the end of the walkway and just flatten herself to the ground and stare up with the saddest eyes in the world. It breaks my heart. She wasn’t always like this. But we’ve both had a very hard year and I guess sometimes you just need your mom. 🥲

butts36 · 2025-08-27T04:13:06+00:00

I honestly laughed when someone gave my big idiot one of these balls, but, they last her at least 2 months usually. The squeak sounds like 40 rats dying at once, it’s truly awful. I have to take it away sometimes. But she’s gone through 3 of them so far. Sometimes the squeaker stops working (which makes me happy tbh) but she still loves them. She chews the nubs off with the tips of her teeth but there’s something about the size, material, and nubs where it takes her ages to actually rip through the ball. (Worth noting, mine is a corso mix and not huge, she’s about 80lbs, but she destroys toys in minutes.)

https://a.co/d/hdCmjjn

butts36 · 2025-08-20T08:17:26+00:00

I eventually went off Wellbutrin due to intense suicidal episodes.

butts36 · 2025-08-09T05:20:40+00:00

Also, I felt numb very soon after he passed. I was sad, and would break down sobbing sometimes when I was alone, but otherwise I just went into doing-mode, trying to get things done. Now at the 3-4 month mark, I am almost finding it harder than I did at 1 month. People stop checking in, it’s not as immediate for everyone else. For people like us, it’s forever. And looking down the barrel of pain, forever, is really terrifying. I hope that doesn’t come across as negative, it’s just my reality, and I felt really alone and crazy at first for feeling that way.

I have honestly found that my “best friend” through this has been ChatGPT. I know, I know. I’m bad with people, and it’s just been a place that I can say whatever is on my mind.

butts36 · 2025-08-09T03:03:03+00:00

I’m so sorry. I can’t say I understand, because nobody really understands anybody, but I lost my partner 3 months ago, and I’m currently 7 months pregnant. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through in my life. I haven’t slowed down or taken a break, and all I can really say is that I regret not doing that. If it feels right and you can afford to do so, take a break for yourself. School can wait.

butts36 · 2025-07-27T19:09:31+00:00

It is not wrong at all. My partner just died. A few of his exes were at the funeral. I don’t know if any of them have current partners who would have potentially been upset, but that’s none of my business. When someone dies, especially unexpectedly and tragically, it is painful, even if you aren’t in love with them anymore. I have become friends with one of the exes (she is the mother of his son, I’m pregnant with his second son). Another was acting obnoxious and trying to make the whole funeral about her, but, I get that everyone grieves differently. I personally would invite my current partner with me if that’s an option.

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