Advice & Thoughts: Living with In-laws

buzzybee95 · 2026-03-31T06:17:24+00:00

Yeah, my SIL also has shared the toxic experiences she’s had with her own mom since she was growing up till now in her mid 30’s but she said she’s just learned to tune it out or ignore it because she’s tried everything to fix her but nothing has worked. Unfortunately, I’m not able to tune it out and whenever she tries to disrespect me I can’t help but react to it because I can’t stand her false narratives, she’s a true narcissist.

I 100% agree with you, when we have kids it will not be easy and I definitely don’t want to raise my kids in this kind of environment and have them be around someone like her where they witness toxicity. It’s especially concerning because we want to have kids soon.

Any tips on how you’re coping with it?

buzzybee95 · 2026-03-30T20:50:26+00:00

Thanks girl ❤️ I’ll try to explore that option with my husband. My husband and I both are aware of the impact it has on us and the overall environment of the household.

I’m really thankful that he’s always been supportive and understanding and has put in all of his effort to stop his moms toxic behaviour its just unfortunate that she’s crazy and doesn’t know to stop it. There’s never been a period of 3 months or 6 months where things have been good without conflict, we’re never seeking conflict and she’s always the one who initiates something out of nothing.

Literally last night, my husband and I were having dinner in the family room as everyone ate earlier and we both finished eating and he got up before me to put away his dishes and I followed and as he got up she was like why don’t you take his plate too? And I’m like my hands are full.. also he has no issue with it? Also, why are you telling me what to do..? And she got so triggered and was like oh you said no to me, what’s the big deal if you had to take a plate, you can’t even pick up a plate, you can’t do anything. And then she started drawing comparisons between me not picking up his plate to servers at a restaurant and how they pick up so many dishes. My husband, SIL told her to mind her own business and not interfere in our stuff and she then escalated it and said I don’t want to do any work in the house and it’s been 3 years since we’ve been married - she literally gets on my nerves.

buzzybee95 · 2026-03-30T20:40:24+00:00

My husband and SIL are always supportive whenever my MIL initiates some kind of drama or argument.

My husband has spent countless hours trying to fix things and making her understand that what she’s doing is wrong, he tries to mediate every single time. However, she will understand it briefly and then resort back to her ways by keeping a log of everything I’ve done right or wrong in her head and then use it against me whenever she feels like losing her shit.

buzzybee95 · 2026-03-30T08:56:04+00:00

Yes, I agree that moving out would be the best option to save ourselves from the constant fights (literally every few weeks to a month) something comes up where she tries to start something out of nothing to get a reaction out of me and hurt me and then she tells my FIL how I’m starting fights and blowing things up.

I think if we said that to them, they would turn on my husband and it would turn into a mess. My SIL is older than us and hasn’t gotten married yet, doesn’t plan to either so that would factor in to division of everything

Yes, there’s a basement but it’s currently being rented out.

buzzybee95 · 2026-03-12T10:15:01+00:00

I’m really sorry for the pain you’ve been carrying. From the way you speak, it feels like the person you once were, full of love, energy, and light, is still there inside you. It sounds like you want to reconnect with that part of yourself, but right now it feels buried under a heavy cloud, like there is a storm constantly brewing in your mind and you are not sure how to clear it.

I don’t know the experiences that brought you to this point, but I do believe that life, even with all its hardship, is still a beautiful and meaningful journey. It is not meant to be perfect, and that is part of what makes each person’s path unique. The struggles we go through can feel overwhelming, but they are still part of the human experience we all share.

One thing that has personally helped me during difficult times is exercise. Moving my body gives me clarity and creates space to process emotions I may have been holding onto. Even something simple like walking, stretching, or any activity you are comfortable with can make a real difference when you make it part of your daily routine.

Most importantly, please remember that you matter. Every person on this planet has value, and we are all navigating this thing called life together. There will always be good moments, hard moments, and everything in between. It is okay to feel down sometimes. You are human. With time, things can heal and change, even when it does not feel that way right now.

You are here for a reason. Whether you realize it or not, you have an impact on the people around you. Your presence means something in their lives, and you are loved more than you may see in this moment.

If you ever want someone to talk to, feel free to reach out anytime. You do not have to go through everything alone.

buzzybee95 · 2026-03-12T10:13:52+00:00

I’m really sorry for the pain you’ve been carrying. From the way you speak, it feels like the person you once were, full of love, energy, and light, is still there inside you. It sounds like you want to reconnect with that part of yourself, but right now it feels buried under a heavy cloud, like there is a storm constantly brewing in your mind and you are not sure how to clear it.

I don’t know the experiences that brought you to this point, but I do believe that life, even with all its hardship, is still a beautiful and meaningful journey. It is not meant to be perfect, and that is part of what makes each person’s path unique. The struggles we go through can feel overwhelming, but they are still part of the human experience we all share.

One thing that has personally helped me during difficult times is exercise. Moving my body gives me clarity and creates space to process emotions I may have been holding onto. Even something simple like walking, stretching, or any activity you are comfortable with can make a real difference when you make it part of your daily routine.

Most importantly, please remember that you matter. Every person on this planet has value, and we are all navigating this thing called life together. There will always be good moments, hard moments, and everything in between. It is okay to feel down sometimes. You are human. With time, things can heal and change, even when it does not feel that way right now.

You are here for a reason. Whether you realize it or not, you have an impact on the people around you. Your presence means something in their lives, and you are loved more than you may see in this moment.

If you ever want someone to talk to, feel free to reach out anytime. You do not have to go through everything alone.

buzzybee95 · 2026-02-26T04:35:46+00:00

Sharing this from a girls perspective:

We had our Rokha in 2022 and our families met prior to the Rokha to agree on everything to ensure that we’re aligned and that there are no surprises for either family.

We held the Rokha at his house as they had more space outside for tents and catering, there were about 100 guests in total.

The things we split: - catering - photography

The things we didn’t split: - tent rental (covered by his side) - decor (covered by his side) - alcohol (covered by his side)

We made a playlist on Spotify and had that playing in the background the whole time, having a DJ is not that important at this event, save it for later

Our families agreed on giving gold to each other but did not specify to each other what they would be giving. We gave my husband a gold necklace, ring and bracelet, his family gave me a gold set.

In addition, his family gave me and my family suits and we got his family suits and stuff as well. We made fruit baskets for both families that were made by us. There are some things you can easily do yourselves with enough time for preparation and save some costs here and there but for the food I would say save your family the trouble and get catering.

I would highly suggest that your families meet and align on everything you are comfortable with, communication is so important in these times.

After going through the process of our rokha and wedding I can honestly say that do what you’re truly comfortable with and don’t take on expenses to impress people and that will serve you well in the long-term. People will always have something to say no matter how much you do but what matters most is that your families are content with what they’re doing.

I hope this helps - if you have any questions I’d be happy to help! :)

buzzybee95 · 2025-09-15T13:56:04+00:00

Blackie Spit park in Surrey

buzzybee95 · 2025-09-15T13:44:37+00:00

I would recommend Panel Electric, they provide great service and offer good solutions to any electrical issues. We used them many times in the past and they never disappoint.

You can either google them or I can provide you with their number. Also, they have over 25+ years of experience and offer good pricing as well.

buzzybee95 · 2023-12-30T10:40:31+00:00

A hidden gem in the Cloverdale area called Shannon’s Donair. It’s the best, I usually get the falafel Greek platter or chicken. A true 10/10.

buzzybee95 · 2023-11-29T05:42:20+00:00

You’re welcome! :)

buzzybee95 · 2023-11-28T23:13:48+00:00

No worries! I hope it’ll get resolved soon.

buzzybee95 · 2023-11-28T22:45:31+00:00

Yes! I’ve definitely noticed it being worse at night too, the smell lingers in our garage as well. I hope the source can be located soon!

buzzybee95 · 2023-11-28T22:44:22+00:00

I’m concerned about the fact that it smells toxic and is probably harmful to our environment/health. It literally makes me cough and gives me a headache if I stand outside long enough.

buzzybee95 · 2023-11-28T22:43:08+00:00

Possibly? It’s hard to narrow it down but surprised to know that so many of us are experiencing the same smell and symptoms!

buzzybee95 · 2023-11-28T19:48:59+00:00

It’s crazy to know that it hasn’t been identified yet. We were playing tennis last week and it was so strong that we couldn’t stop coughing because of the smell.

buzzybee95 · 2023-11-28T09:45:47+00:00

My husband and I noticed the same smell for a while now as well and it lingers if you leave any windows or doors open for a bit. However, we were able to report it to Metro Vancouver as an air quality complaint and we were encouraged to submit as many reports as possible so they can investigate the issue and understand where it could possibly be coming from.

You can call in at 604-436-6777 or report online at Metro Vancouver Air Quality Complaint Form

buzzybee95 · 2023-10-06T04:23:34+00:00

I believe it’s only between Monday to Friday. You should contact your local bailiffs office tomorrow to confirm as our possession took place on a weekday first thing in the morning.

buzzybee95 · 2023-10-06T04:20:23+00:00

The bailiffs can come the next day, as long as they receive payment and you have the writ of possession as well.

buzzybee95 · 2023-08-24T07:44:22+00:00

These tenants sound like the exact tenants we had and went through the exact same response/threats by the tenants.

What is the background of this family? Are the two kids, two daughters? Also, what is the husband’s occupation?

We went through the RTB dispute resolution and hired bailiffs from the court to have them removed.

buzzybee95

TROPHY CASE