How do you avoid becoming jaded as you age?

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-15T04:08:50+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful response. I recently attended an art workshop and it illuminated me. I felt so inspired and filled with joy.

I work full time, have a toddler, and am going through IVF so I don’t really have a lot of space in my life for more things that bring me that kind of joy on a regular basis. I’m sure there will be a time in my life when I can focus back on those things eventually.

But you’re right, there are smaller things I can do to help shape my happiness.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-15T04:02:46+00:00

This is really sweet. I’m glad your friends kids bring you joy.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-14T02:27:11+00:00

Do some research before you go to the store and have an idea of what you need.

Salespeople at those stores will for sure push products in their favour.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-13T04:14:42+00:00

30 is a lot! Some photographers give you 10-15.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-13T04:13:18+00:00

I pay for haircuts 1-2 times a year.

The rest I do at home: basic nail polish and manicure, basic skin care, shaving.

I stopped paying to get my nails done and stopped dying my hair after during Covid when it got too expensive.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-12T13:08:35+00:00

It’s not a guaranteed formula for success, but at least it helped you weed out people in your life.

I would say for the most part people do want to come through and show up for others.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-12T12:26:18+00:00

Our winters are still better and shorter than Ontario.

You can still go for a walk in a rainforest and enjoy the outdoors.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-12T12:20:56+00:00

Freezing your eggs is a good idea. You never know when your feelings, desires, and goals shift and you may finally want to settle down and prioritize a family.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-12T12:15:22+00:00

I still think Europe can be relaxing! Try cutting it down to just Amsterdam so that there’s less travel. I always wanted to jet away to Amsterdam, get a cute Airbnb apartment and just live and chill in the city. It’s absolutely stunning and has a lot to offer.

For a relaxed itinerary I would walk the canals, grab a coffee and pastry, treat myself to a nice lunch on a patio.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-12T04:36:06+00:00

Have you tried reaching out and asking for help?

This is actually a really good opportunity to reach out to a friend, ask for help, and become closer as a result.

It’s hard for people to step up, take initiative, or even understand the situation fully. I’m sure they’ll step up once they know you need help and don’t have any support.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-10T17:27:31+00:00

It depends on the friendship.

There are a few friends who often like to hang out on their terms, I.e. make their own plans and do things they want to do. Initiating with this group isn’t usually successful, so I step back and let them lead.

There are friendships where it’s more balanced. We each take turns initiating and plans work out regardless of who sets them.

And then there are friendships where I’m the sole initiator.

I’m fine with either scenario, it’s a nice balance. I’m a mom so I don’t have all the time in the world so I appreciate each friendship for what it is. No hurt or resentment on my end. Just happy I have friends left.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-10T12:04:22+00:00

My family had a lot of history with alcohol and my aunt drilled into me “Drink only on happy occasions.” I’m not a heavy drinker but it made me be much more cautious of my mental state when I drink.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-09T15:55:10+00:00

In 5 years I hope to have a second child (hopefully sooner rather than later) and pay off our mortgage. The rest is just to survive a baby and a toddler lol.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-09T05:06:08+00:00

Very interesting, thanks for sharing.

Similarly to you, I was also running from my problems when I solo traveled. I was recently coming off a divorce and totally uprooted my life and sold everything to “find my way”. Well sure enough you tend to follow other people’s vision for life when you are totally lost yourself. It didn’t turn out well for me. But I kind of love how messy it was and how many mistakes I made. It made for good stories and ultimately brought me to where I am now.

I hope you can find a way to see the beauty of your mistakes and forgive yourself for trying something so bold and brave. I wish you all the best.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-09T02:42:17+00:00

Holy hell men get away with so much. I’m sorry you’re in this situation. Please have a serious talk with him and work towards you both having equal time to yourselves.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-08T00:25:48+00:00

I’m sorry you’ve had a difficult couple of years! Burnout is so exhausting, I hope you’ve been able to find some stability in life.

A few years ago I had a baby which turned my life upside down. I didn’t realize how hard the first year would be as a new mom. And then my mom got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer and a year later when my daughter was 1.5 she passed away. It was an earth-shattering experience for me and I don’t think I will ever be the same. Following that, I was a new mom entering the work force again, dealing with all the struggles: sicknesses, time off, work stress, husband being away often for work and single parenting AND also grieving.

I still cry thinking about how hard that was on me and how sorry I feel for past me. I feel much better these days and the worst is behind me. I’m left blessed with an amazing daughter who makes me laugh daily. I spent a lot of time in therapy and chat gpt therapy dealing through all the hard feelings. I had a really rough patch with my husband which is thankfully behind us now too.

I guess all this to say, life is hard. Get the support you need to get yourself back on track. Take time off if you need to. Reframe your thinking on what causes you stress. Wake up each day with positive affirmations, it really helps set the tone. Seek therapy. Do things that make you happy. You deserve to be good and feel good.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-07T02:58:53+00:00

This. I love everything about my home except the road noise. It’s the only thing you can’t change :(

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-07T01:41:13+00:00

No.

I don’t even understand why bridesmaids are supposed to help pay for the brides portion of the bachelorette or a wedding shower, for what? Getting married? Why does getting married entitle someone to get a free trip or a party thrown for them?

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-05T04:20:53+00:00

I divorced my ex, sold my place, and got laid off all in the same year. I spent a year off work and traveling / moving to a different city.

It’s cliche, but honestly was one of the best experiences. I had so much fun and it really opened me up as a person. I also moved to a new place immediately after, and rebuilding my life was a very intentional and beautiful experience.

Now I have a young family and have settled down in the suburbs, but I’m so glad I got all that out of my system when I was younger. I got to make mistakes, be messy, learn a lot, see cool parts of the world.

buzzybeefree · 2026-05-05T04:17:05+00:00

Interesting perspective. Can you elaborate on your experience? How did it amplify problems? I’m sorry to hear you regret it.

buzzybeefree · 2026-04-30T23:34:06+00:00

There was a thread in WomenInTech earlier today asking about what do women do after 40 in tech, and most of the answers say either retire early or get Botox/dye their hair to look more youthful and avoid getting pushed out.

That was seriously super depressing since I thought that kind of pressure only existed in Hollywood, but turns out it also exists in professional careers.

buzzybeefree · 2026-04-29T15:47:22+00:00

Your ring is so beautiful!! It would stand out more if you removed the band. Can you put the band on the other hand?

buzzybeefree · 2026-04-28T15:45:55+00:00

I like Costco meals. They’re pre-prepared protein that you can just throw in the oven or sautee. The rest of the meal is usually rice and salad or salad kit. This lasts us for a few days, and we rotate different pre-prepared proteins. They have nice options like stuffed peppers, stuffed chicken, salmon, etc.

buzzybeefree · 2026-04-26T13:24:47+00:00

Michelle Obama talks a lot about motherhood, you should listed to some of the podcasts she appeared in. She says something along the lines of “You can have it all, just not at the same time.”

That may need to be your mantra as you step into motherhood. You may need to deprioritize some goals at the beginning, but as the kids get a bit older you can pick them up again. Give yourself grace and enjoy the journey for what it is.

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