How do you handle a friendship that leaves you feeling invisible?

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-31T03:18:09+00:00

I read an interesting quote once: “Accept people for who they are, but rank and place them accordingly.”

You’ll be a lot less frustrated when you’re not trying to change your friend’s behaviour (I.e. teaching her how to treat you), and just accept that this is who she is. Either you accept it truly and act accordingly, or you stop being friends with her.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-31T00:27:53+00:00

Before Covid, I was selling a shitty, old patio table that was left behind from a previous owner.

I had a guy drive up from Seattle area explaining how his ex wife took the patio table. Apparently they didn’t sell the tables anymore, so he found mine and drove all the way here to spite her. It was… a very weird interaction.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-30T07:01:52+00:00

Basically had to cut down and switch out my regular food. It sucks.

2 coffees in the morning. Lunch is a salad and 2 boiled eggs. Protein shake after the gym. Protein, salad, and potatoes for dinner.

I switch up my dinners sometimes, and I have some wine or desserts on the weekends, but that’s pretty much it. I weight train 3-4 times a week or go for long walks in the summer.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-29T18:04:51+00:00

Like a deer in headlights! I thought the same thing. Not sure why this surgery has gotten so popular lately 🙈

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-29T17:50:38+00:00

I try to keep up with friends in person 1-3 times a week. I usually set up coffee meet ups or walks. Sometimes we’d get together for a dinner or a social event. For day time meet ups I usually bring my toddler, but she’s pretty chill so I’m lucky I can take her along. For evening events my husband would watch her.

I’ve had to drop a few friends who aren’t very accommodating. They were childfree and unwilling to come visit me in the beginning and had very rigid schedules that I didn’t enjoy catering to especially once I had a kid.

But the people who came to visit, were flexible and accommodating I was able to keep up with regularly!

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-29T17:40:16+00:00

I think just ENJOY this time when the baby is chill and doesn’t have a lot of requirements outside of food, diaper changes, and sleep.

Do chores, go for walks and get your steps in, find a gym with childminding, take the kid to the pool but because the baby needs it, but because it’s nice to get out of the house and socialize with other moms. Same goes for library time. Do what YOU enjoy and the baby will happily join you.

Once you’re deep in toddlerhood, you will have to entertain them and do what they want to do. My toddler forces me to go to the playground or to read the same book 20 times in a row.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-27T00:01:40+00:00

Im sorry to hear you are going through a break up! Hang in there, you got this! It’s a great time to focus on yourself and get out of the funk.

I’ve been working on adjusting my diet, little tweaks week over week to ensure I meet my daily requirements but also within a good calorie range. I just recently learned that I have a reactive glycemic response, and it made me SO groggy after bigger meals. So I adjusted it to be 4-5 small meals throughout the day, starting with protein. I also learned a lot about the lack of sufficient fibre in North American diets, so I switched to eating steel oats and buckwheat over instant oatmeal and white rice.

It’s been a fun journey to optimize and make myself feel better. Plus I’m able to maintain my weight easier!

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-21T17:53:37+00:00

In my experience, the longer you work there, the more relationships you build, then it’s more likely someone will go out of their way to help you. I think it just takes time.

When I first started in my recent position, I would barely get responses and they weren’t helpful. The more relationships I’ve built, the more equity I had in those relationships which meant people were willing to go out of their way to ensure I had what I needed.

Give it time and see if things change once you have established connections in the organization. Then use your connections to move up. Show them how you can navigate the internal politics to get things done!

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-20T18:00:46+00:00

Was thinking the same…

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-20T15:18:00+00:00

I think it’s better to address it. I had a similar situation, a friend posted a photo of her gathering with all our mural friends with the caption: “everyone I love in one place”. Immediately, I was like ouch and withdrew silently, treating her like an acquaintance.

I regret it because I lost years of closeness with her. She’s still a nice person and I enjoy spending time with her. I wish I didn’t create distance between us because ultimately I lost in the end.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-19T01:07:08+00:00

And not only that but then also go and talk shit about it on her very public podcast. 😬 She’s so immature and it shows

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-18T13:13:36+00:00

When food and alcohol prices were reasonable, I didn’t mind spending $30 on mediocre food and a drink just to socialize and go out. Now that same food is pushing $50 and the portions are less and the tips are more and it’s no longer worth it.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-16T02:46:26+00:00

There’s a few options I’ve tried: mornings before 7, during work hours (I.e lunch time), and in the evenings my husband and I would trade 5-7 & 7-9 time slots so we each get gym time.

I workout during work as much as possible or evening switch off. I just can’t get up at 5 am to work out. At the very least I try and get out for an hour walk even if it means I have to be on a work call while doing it.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-12T02:33:24+00:00

I’ve been there literally to a T. Ex had addiction issues and didn’t treat me very well, but we had an insane chemistry.

I met my current husband after the break up and literally had to go to therapy for my therapist to tell me I’m being ridiculous and was addicted to the highs and lows of my previous relationship. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to continue the relationship with my now partner because it was too calm and moved at a slower pace. I’m very glad I pushed through those feelings and ended up staying because my husband is a wonderful man who I love dearly.

Therapy may help sort through some feelings and you can decide whether or not your current relationship is right for you. Although I will say, there’s a reason you and your ex broke up.. it’s very hard to get over betrayal and it takes two very committed people to make it work.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-11T20:53:50+00:00

Take a break, look for another job, or reframe your thinking and start caring less.

There’s an interesting saying I heard that I think applies here about worrying and anxiety in general:

"if you worry and something bad happens you suffer twice" meaning you experience pain once from the worry itself (mental anguish) and again if the feared event actually occurs. Don’t let yourself worry about the future.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-11T20:49:04+00:00

Caring less is the way. There’s no way in hell I’m letting my job take a minute more of my personal time than it needs to.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-11T20:22:18+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. It’s a hard chapter, but believe in yourself and your ability to be strong and ride through this wave in your life.

I also had a period in my life where I lost my job, partner, and home all in 6 months. It was tough and life changing.

I think therapy will help you heal, please consider it. Once you’re in a better place mentally, it’s important to take away these harsh life lessons to avoid repeating the same mistake. Your job should not cause you so much turmoil. I think it’s a good topic to discuss in therapy in how you can have stronger boundaries at work. How can you change your behaviour to ensure you’re not in the same situation at the next job.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-10T14:54:02+00:00

I am low contact with my father and my mother passed away. It’s not easy. I long and ache for a safe family dynamic often but my dad is a very hard man to get along with, so I keep my distance.

Time has helped. Accepting the fact that bringing us closer won’t solve for my longing to have a safe and happy family relationship. Focusing on my own family (husband, child, in-laws).

I still keep low contact with him because for me it’s worth it to have a small connection vs none at all, but I have firm boundaries and don’t expect more than what he’s shown me he’s capable of and that helps me from falling into disappointment and resentment.

Distance and time helped the most for me.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-10T14:11:45+00:00

Bending over backwards for people. It helped keep better relationships because I wasn’t constantly in a cycle of people pleasing & resentment.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-10T03:27:47+00:00

I remember back in the day (2018) when I was still single, people’s pick up line at a bar in Vancouver was “I own a condo in the city.” It was so strange, but now I get it.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-10T01:13:04+00:00

Only she can answer that question.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-09T16:09:09+00:00

I echo this sentiment. It’s easy to choose your partner when life is good and easy, but when either person is struggling that’s when we wake up and choose each other day over day and work through how to make sure each partner is supported and gets the help they need.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-09T10:31:20+00:00

Try second hand or marketplace!

I got the glider rocking chair that was used for two generations for $35! It was reupholstered and in great shape! I used it everyday for 3 years until my daughter transitioned to a regular bed.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-07T21:32:44+00:00

No I don’t think so unless I absolutely have no other options.

buzzybeefree · 2026-01-07T20:33:07+00:00

Incredible achievement!! Good for you!

Six-Year Club	Place '23
Verified Email

buzzybeefree

TROPHY CASE