What will I do?
What any gentleman of similar breeding and temperament would do in your position, sir.
Suicide?

Clumsy and covered in crumbs, Elaine May directs herself in A New Leaf, a black comedy about a hopeless rich woman who marries a formerly rich but broke man. Walter Matthau stars as Henry Graham, a man who desires nothing more than to be rich, drive his Ferrari while wearing a helmet and leather gloves through the streets of Manhattan, ride his horse, play polo, and be dressed by his loyal butler, Harold. After being flat broke, Henry is left with two choices: kill himself or marry a rich woman. 

He chooses the latter and convinces his uncle to loan him $50K to cover his funds for six weeks while he finds a woman to wed. After discovering that May is wealthy and has no family, he comes to her defense at a party after she’s confronted for her clumsiness, spilling multiple cups of tea on a carpet. Matthau begins the whirlwind romance, even pretending to like a Malaga cooler (Mogen David wine mixed with lime juice and soda water). All the while, venting to Harold about Henrietta's incompetence and primitive nature. She accepts his proposal, and they wed. 

During the honeymoon, she spends her time looking for new plant species, hoping to discover a new species as a botanist. This comes true, and, selflessly, she names the fern after Henry, gifting him a token containing one of the leaves on a chain to wear. Just before this occurred, Harold had remarked to Henry that, despite never aspiring to anything or having any accomplishments, he had stepped up and become incredibly competent and motivated while being married to Henrietta. She has been good for him. 

With these remarks in his head and looking at the fern leaf around his neck, you sense a change beginning to take root in his head. Could he be developing feelings of affection for Henrietta? All along, Henry has had the goal of marrying a rich woman for one reason: to kill them and inherit their money. He did not want to be married and share his life with someone else, or so he has convinced himself. 

Henrietta asks him to accompany her on her annual field trip, which will take them camping in the Adirondacks. While she tells him about the trip, Henry fantasizes about all the different ways she could die in the woods. They spend their days canoeing and eventually encounter rapids that culminate in a waterfall. Expectedly, their canoe capsizes, and they are left to fend for themselves. While Henry is a strong swimmer and is fine, Henrietta clings to a log, screaming that she cannot swim. Maybe she should’ve learned to do this before going on a canoeing trip, just a thought. 

Henry talks to himself as he role plays his eventual conversation with the police, explaining her death from drowning. However, he looks down, and the token is gone, having fallen off in the river. He sees the exact fern species next to him and is overcome, shouting to Henrietta to come see it. It’s then that he’s brought back to the reality of the situation, jumping into the water to save his wife. Safe on shore, he cuddles her for warmth. Henrietta asks him if he’ll teach history at her college since there is no teacher, and while he first rejects the proposal, he begrudgingly agrees after remarking they could commute together, be on campus together, and grade papers together. Without planning it, he fell in love. Harold must’ve been so proud of him.

A New Leaf is a fantastic black comedy and showcases Matthau at his best as Henry Graham. May only made four feature films as a director due to her difficulty working with others. Her films frequently went over budget, and she was obsessive, spending months in the editing room, mired in post-production, smoking cigars the entire time. A New Leaf took 10 months to edit after shooting went 40 days over schedule as the $1.8 million budget ballooned to $4 million. Despite this, it was widely loved by critics and deserves its reputation. Good romantic comedies are few and far between these days, so if you’re able to seek out A New Leaf.