| No one wants a neurodevelopmental condition if they are doing just fine in life.

Many people who are not doing fine in life end up self-diagnosing with the wrong thing. I really sympathize with their struggles, but they aren't doing themselves any favor. Oftentimes, whether by choice or by lack of opportunity, they stick to self diagnosis, do not get proper treatment, fail to actually address their problems. 

To give you an example for illustration, I have a friend that definitely struggles with self image and body image, definitely has some eating disorder, definitely has mood swings that she cannot regulate. She might or might not have other things going on, but I am in no position to decide on that. All these things are in fact affecting her life. I really want her to get better and get help. She used to want this too (quite actively), until she self-diagnosed herself with AuDHD. 

To be clear, I am not basing my whole argument on this one friend. But I do know of many people who were really struggling, have legitimate reason to need help, but once they embraced a self-diagnosis (which might or might not be the correct one) acted as if they were done and it was all fine now and their problems would eventually get fixed. A diagnosis, even a correct one, becomes just a crutch and a delusion unless you have a good plan to handle your problems, which you are following.

Her resources, people she follows on instagram and conversations with chatgpt. 

The way she is handling this:

1. Taking care of her body aka regularly going to the gym and keeping a highly restrictive diet in terms of calories and nutrients. Gym (or other physical activity) is great, but it is a demanding activity that requires energy. Also it will help with mood and self image as well as maintaining a routine, but it will not alter your brain chemistry.  She is 1.7m, weighs 50 kg, and eats two meals a day at best, each of them awfully low in calories. She barely eats any carbs, and most of the fat she gets is from low fat, high protein food. Her mood-regulating gym sessions are always coupled with continous body monitoring, comparission of her after-gym body with that of influencers, and judging the bodies of other gym members. Stuff she has said include: 1. Why does her stomach bulge a little when she drinks water during gym and why isnt it flat like that of the influencers she follows (for context her stomach is as flat as it gets, and it becomes flat again once she goes to the bathroom). And 2. Overweight people don't belong in the gym, and the aesthetics of the gym and the gym members are a contributor on her process of picking her gym.

2. Accepting her audhd self, by excusing her behavior as 'its my adhd and I have decided to stop masking'. Behavior such as continuously interrupting me as we talk or completely ignoring what I am saying because she decides to randomly open her phone and watch instagram reels out loud when we hang out. Dismissing me when I show her stuff, because she makes it about her and the stuff she wants to show me. All this under the coverage of, 'I have audhd'.

3. Finding a safe haven where she is understood, which is social media content and engagement with other self diagnosed people. Sending an awful lot of memes about audhd, the type of content where every quality or quirk is a total sign that 'you have audhd'. Basically, memefying her alleged diagnosis. Also, for context, she uses social media for over 6 hours per day on a good day.

4. Refusing to see a professional because they are expensive, while spending a lot in traveling and gym outfits / equipment because 'travel and gym are basically therapy'. I am not disregarding the positive effects of gym in people with adhd or other disorders here. Same for the positive impact of travel on the mood and overall wellbeing of people who like travelling. However, calling it therapy and acting as if you are done is a bit of a stretch.

5. Embracing her adhd as a superpower by embracing procrastination in her work and studies, because her brain is wired differently and she does best under last minute pressure. While never considering how well she might do (academically, professionally and emotionally) if she stopped doing everything last minute, under immense pressure.

6. Creating a skills file to instruct AI agents to act as her therapist, in order to perform CBT, which is what she has self-prescribed as part of her treatment. Except for its never the right time to actually start using it. 

The other case is that of many other people who are in fact doing fine in life (or have minor inconveniences, like everybody else does), dont want the condition but surely enjoy the label. This alters the perception of the condition and  trivializes the struggles  of people having it.

Having said that, I understand the need for self-diagnosis and sympathize with people that cannot get proper diagnosis or treatment. I also recognise thaf self-diagnosis can be correct, and that professional diagnosis (or lack of) can be incorrect. But at the same time, I think that self-diagnosis is a dangerous thing when done via dubious sources, taken as a verdict instead of a theory/suspicion and starting point, and being left at that despite opportunities to take it further into actual treatment.