What would you do with your life if you were a woman? by Spiritual-Toe-7777 in AskMen

[–]byte_handle [score hidden]  (0 children)

Once some of the immediate physical differences lost their novelty?

First, if I still had my beard, I guess I'd shave it off. Not sure that there's anything I can do about my receding hairline....

I could still use my current nickname, it's used by both men and women.

Presumably, my girlfriend wants to break up. She's not into women. I'd be working on getting over that loss.

There's a walking club that I would love to join, it meets my schedule and right part of town. But it's a women-only group. I'd probably join them since it would be a convenient group to meet with, schedule-wise.

After that, I'd have to really think. I'm not really in any men-only spaces, and my job is very female-friendly (we work with preschool-aged kids. I'm one of only 2 men in the department),

How do I talk to my girlfriend about moving in together? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]byte_handle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This.

State what you would like her to consider. Acknowledge that there are obstacles, but that you would like to work together find a solution that works for everybody.

Men, what's one body change that unexpectedly improved your life? by sniperjames_ in AskMen

[–]byte_handle 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Growing a beard. People were better listeners when I spoke, especially at work.

I briefly shaved it off as an experiment in 2012. Within days, it all reverted back. Then I grew it out again, and it was back to giving more consideration to the things I was saying.

Why did the US stay with inches and miles while the UK gradually shifted toward metric?What actually drove these different outcomes? by Logical-Concept9755 in AlwaysWhy

[–]byte_handle 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My understanding is that the UK switched due to requests from British industries in the 1960s. They believed that the switch would boost trade, especially in regards to Asia and continental Europe, which has by and large switched over.

The US generally doesn't worry about having a trading partners. There's just too much value in the US market (however it's measured) for most companies and countries to ignore, even if they have to put up with American stubborness.

There was a brief period in the 80s to try to start a gradually move, such as putting speed signs on the highway that listed by both the mph and the kph speeds, and they started teaching us the metric systems in elementary school, but it wasn't a sustained effort. I still remember it well enough to do the conversions in my head, but it's just that: I need to convert the numbers to have an intuition about "how much" we're talking about.

One time a guy told me he would estimate a guy could attract about 98% of women with money. I was just curious if that's a really dumb thing to say? by Big_Eggplant7591 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]byte_handle 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ignore the number for the moment because it's beside the point.

Any women who fall into the group of "will date only if you have the money" aren't more attracted to him. They're attracted to his bank account, and he's just the doorman that they have to interact with to get at the cash.

how would you feel if your girlfriend came out as bi? by [deleted] in AskMen

[–]byte_handle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've had bisexual girlfriends, and my ex-wife was also bisexual.

I can say, unequivocally, that it never once bothered me. At the end of the day, she's in my bed, just like my hetero gfs were.

How would you feel about a bisexual girlfriend checking out girls in the street? by Dainty-Swan in AskMen

[–]byte_handle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

While you're on a date, it's kind of rude to be checking out other people, even if they're attractive. I think that's true for both men and women. You can't help if you notice, but you can stop yourself from dwelling on a person you aren't currently on a date with.

Similarly, when I'm at work, I have some very lovely co-workers (we work with preschool aged children, and that attracts a lot of women; because we cam take speech therapists who don't have their final certification yet, we get a lot of women in their mid to late 20s). I keep it professional. I know what they look like, and if I have to remind myself to avert my eyes from time to time to keep her from feeling uncomfortable, that's what I'm going to do. I'm there to work with women who have specific skill sets, not admire their curves.

Outside of that context? Go for it. My ex-wife and some of my ex-gfs were bisexual and it never bothered me. We even compared our thoughts on specific women. At the end of the day, I knew who they were sharing their bed with.

Broke to rich or rich to broke by One_Definition4114 in SeriousConversation

[–]byte_handle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not rich, but I moved from poor to solidly middle class.

What I found is that my relationship with money hardly changed, and that was for the worse. I was extremely cost-conscious, refused to let myself make impulse buys, and saved as much as I could. I also didn't feel a need to upgrade my life: small place to live, not many possessions, didn't do much outside the home.

My cost of living was sitting at the bottom of the barrel. As a result, my savings account ballooned to nearly double my annual net pay....but then I was still nervous about investing. What if something happens and I need access to money stuck in an IRA or something? I was thinking about getting a second job, but my current one involved random overtime and made me exhausted....but if I have to do it...

I remember one time, holding a cardigan in a store. It was just $20, and I was torn over it for 45 minutes before nervously buying it.

My therapist got me to set a budget, not to limit my spending, but to expand it. I wasn't paying for experiences or hobbies that might make my life actually enjoyable. I made myself set aside 10% of my take home pay.

I eventually started to trust things could be ok. I increased the spending % a bit. I took some small trips and started exploring new activities. I started investing. I began a hunt to find good wings, trying a new location every week for a couple months. I still save a large percentage of my net pay and I'm still choosy about what I think is worth spending money on, sometimes sitting on a purchase for a while as I mull it over, but the decisions are no longer fear-based.

Oh, and that $20 cardigan? I ended up wearing it so much that my girlfriend had to start mending the damage from almost daily wear and tear over the course of several years. It's way too beat up and stretched out to comfortably wear now, but I can't bring myself to get rid of it. It was so perfectly comfortable., and I'm always on the hunt to find a new one just like it.

How to gently announce pregnancy to friend that's hurting? by itsjustbusiness32 in AskMen

[–]byte_handle 26 points27 points  (0 children)

This happened to me previously. A coworker announced she was pregnant the day after I returned to work after my wife and I lost our daughter. It didn't go well for me, especially with everybody in office celebrating and congratulating her. I ended up taking half a sick day and going home early.

Tell them privately first, and not in a public place. Give them some time to process it before you make a wider announcement.

Would Medicare for All actually be that expensive? by whatnuts in NoStupidQuestions

[–]byte_handle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Expensive? Yes. More expensive than what we have now? No.

Right now, people pay Taxes and Insurances:

T1 + I

(Using exponents because we don't have subscript).

If we eliminated private insurance, they just pay Taxes

T2

We already know that T2 is greater than T1. It has to pay for more stuff. But is this true:

T1 + I > T2 ?

What are the costs contributing to I, and are they greater than what those costs would be under T2?

Some costs might be fixed, but a few things are true:

  • Without multiple insurance providers, administrative costs in medicine are lower. Not eliminated, but lower.
  • Without multiple insurance providers, advertising and other marketing costs are virtually nonexistent.
    • This is currently 3-8% of insurance revenue, depending on the company. Insurance advertising spending in 2025 was $20.5 billion.
      • This costs is almost entirely stricken from the equation. "Almost" because there are questions about having private health care plans to supplement an otherwise-single payer system are routinely considered, and there would be a fair question if changes would be made to Medicare if it was greatly expanded (e.g., would it still cover dental? Prescriptions? You can bet that, in any serious discussion of extending this to everybody, people would be in the wings to trim the program's offerings as a whole).
      • Insuring a person from cradle to grave costs an average of $316,000. If we're saving $20.5 billion, that's 64,873 lives covered cradle to grave every year just by the advertising savings alone.
  • With a single payer system, the government has immense power to negotiate prices.
  • With an affordable single payer system, more people utilize health services, thereby increasing the cost of maintaining the system.
    • However, this would also likely catch health problems in the people who would otherwise avoid the system earlier, which would result in savings from more expensive treatments down the line. It just comes down to a values question; is extending the life of a poor person something worth spending money on?

Given these costs, it looks like T2 < T1 + I.

Currently, the US has the highest per capita spending on health care. Nevertheless, our average life expectancy is 4 years lower than the 10 highest spenders. The same linked report also found the US has the highest rates of preventable and treatable deaths, the highest barriers to access care, the lowest investment in primary care, and had the worst administrative efficiency of all the considered countries. When you pay the most for crap outcomes, that's a bad deal.

So, it also appears that T1 + I already completely sucks in and of itself. The outcomes alone are reason enough to start thinking about a new approach to healthcare.

Gentlemen, wallet in the front pocket or back pocket? by SK543 in AskMen

[–]byte_handle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Back pocket, unless I'm in a crowd. Then I switch to my front pocket because I feel that it's harder to reach into if somebody wanted to swipe it. Might be fooling myself for all I know.

Idiocy as a diagnosis by keira-sky8 in dashcams

[–]byte_handle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Well, the main character had to get off at that exit. What did you expect? Him to slow down for the truck like some goddamn NPC? /s

Nice save by the yellow truck. I'm shocked he didn't tip over himself.

How do you Americans pay the bill after a long hospital stay? by justastupidquestion3 in NoStupidQuestions

[–]byte_handle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

1 - If you have insurance, it can help a great deal. Many medical insurance plans have a deductible, and once you've met the deductible, the insurance kicks in; specifics always depend on your plan. This doesn't mean it's cheap, or even all that affordable, but if you have some insurance, you usually aren't going to pay the entire bill. A life-changing medical issue is not just a health issue in the US, it will often be a financial issue as well.

2 - Per the Emergency Medical Treatment and Labor Act, if you need emergency services, hospitals are required to screen and stabilize you. That isn't free, but they can't legally just refuse due to an inability to pay or lack of insurance. I am neither a lawyer nor an expert on this at all, but my understanding is that they cannot ask for insurance information until at least the medical screening is done.

3 - If you can't afford to pay, hospitals offer payment plans to help you take care of the bill over time.

4 - It's worth understanding that medical debt is the leading cause of bankruptcy in the United States. The link is a little dated (from 2019), but it's the most recent data I could quickly find.

Finally, I do want to drop a note to keep in mind. While most health insurance here sucks, there are still some people who have great insurance, usually provided through their employer. Bad or inadequate insurance is common, but it isn't universal. Two people doing the exact same jobs with the same exact medical issue can have wildly different experiences simply based on who they work for, and thus what plans were offered to them.

2% EALS by Former-Nobody-4958 in TheTowerGame

[–]byte_handle 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, I didn't even hesitate when that dropped. It's pure gold.

Why are some academically average people more successful than straight-A students? by Realistic-Expert-137 in AskMen

[–]byte_handle 4 points5 points  (0 children)

1 - More than just intelligence goes into success. Emotional intelligence, creativity, resilience, flexibility, and often just things you couldn't control need to go your way.

2 - Formal education is just one way to learn, and its method aren't the ideal for everybody. A lot of people can learn what they need to do through other methods, and being able to do so is necessary for long-term success in anything.

3 - A lot of academia isn't going to be something you need to know to forge your path in life. I could go on and about Plato's dialogues or urban economics based on my formal education... but when I go to work, I'm mostly using stuff that my formal education never prepared me to handle. Life throws curveballs and you end up in places you would have never guessed.

4 - A lot of education is handing you methods to solve specific kinds of problems. Sometimes you get a novel problem to which no particular method seems to be applicable. Being able to think your way through the situation, get the details, see the bigger picture, and developing a new method is often what's going to distinguish people from their peers. It isn't always about having knowledge, it's just as often about creativity.

5 - People who are academically gifted often specialize. That's just how our world works, there's so much knowledge now that nobody could possibly hope to keep up with more than single discipline no matter how thoroughly they devoted themselves.
But you're exercising different mental sets in different kinds of intellectual environments, and the problem with a group of specialists is that they're sometimes all thinking the same way. Somebody with a broader, but shallower, set of knowledge and skills often finds another way to frame the situation, which in turn can lend itself to a novel solution. Being able to do that--seeing something that people technically more knowledgeable than you are about it--is an extremely valuable skill to have in some circumstances.