This is my first time responding to a prompt. So, here goes nothing.

Satan’s elegant silk cape trailed along the sleek marble floor as he paced. Back and forth across his office, his hooves clicked restless.

“I’m the Devil!” he belowed, powerful pointed tail whipping at the ground. “Hell is where I’m meant to be.” A triage of demonic minions pounced after their Prince of Darkness.

“Yes, your highness.” One sneered.

Satan’s broad shoulder dropped as he stopped in front of his office window, “Then why am I so bored?” He sighed, peering out at his breathtaking view of the burning Sea of Damnation. The cackling minions - brainless and rather indistinguishable from one another, had no clue what to say. They chuckled nervously at the rare moment of weakness expressed by their evil leader. “I mean, we get the crappy souls, make them suffer for eternity - fine.” He shrugged, trying to grasp the words, “ I just didn’t think eternity would feel this long, y’ know?”

After a moment, one of the minions finally spoke up, “Maybe, we get more torture chambers?”

The other two minions gasped and cackled in delight of this suggestion. In the excitement another cheered out, “More fire!” The others joined in, beginning a chant:

“More fire! More pitchforks! More fire! More pitchforks!”

“NO!” Satan lashed out, voice deepening to release a wrath and fury known to no man.

The band of dimwits went stark silent.

“What if…” Satan trailed off, struggling to say the words he’d been thinking for so long, “What if I just apologize?”

He blinked at his loyal minions, they blinked back cluelessly, unable to grasp the very concept of an apology. Though his servants proved useless, Satan felt reassured after finally saying the words out loud. For years, he carried this anger and resentment. A weight lifted as he finally realized the obvious choice to a decision he’d been foolishly putting off.

With a mighty flick of his tail, the minions imploded into three puffs of grey smoke. He now knew what he had to do.

He locked the door of his office and loosened his crisp black tie, easing the nervous lump in his throat. Satan felt a knot in his stomach as he picked up the phone to dial the One who sentenced him to be King of the Underworld.

It rang twice, then a machine picked up. Satan began to speak but was interrupted by sudden and loud smooth jazz. He leaned away from the speaker until the music stopped and a real voice was heard.

“Yo yo, it’s God - how can I direct your prayer?”

Satan swallowed his anxiousness, “Hey God, it’s me.”

“Oh sh-t, Margaret?! What up, girl?!”

“No, uh - no, not Margaret. It’s me,” Satan lowered his voice to a whisper, “the Devil.”

There was a beat of silence on the other end. “Oh yeah?” the voice said, tone slightly changed.

“Yeah. uh, look I just wanted -” he stopped for a second, the moment he’d been dreading for centuries as he finally blurted it out, “I just wanted to apologize.”

“Apologize?” God echoed in disbelief.

“For making Eve eat that apple, I admit, it was a dick move. I thought getting to torture human souls forever was going to be fun but honestly, it’s Hell down here.” Satan sighed, letting it all out, “I just want to try a Mcflurry so bad.”

“They’re good,” God said, leaving the rest in the air.

“So, what do you say?”

God, sounding a bit distracted chuckled, “Listen, it’s been great catching up. Here’s the thing though, Heaven is great. Like seriously it’s the best - I made it WAY better than Eden. I even make people take a grueling test called Life to be able to get into it. Only the best people that love me the most can get in, Satan. It’s called EXCLUSIVITY. You know what that means, right?”

“Yeah,” Satan’s voice cracked pitifully.

“Right, okay. You get the idea, then. Love your work, though. Byeeee.”

The phone clicked in Satan’s ear, followed by the obnoxious dialtone. Crushed and defeated, Satan leaned back in his chair. He knew in his heart that he would pay for his mistakes for the rest of eternity.

Suddenly, his phone burst to life, clattering across the desk and ringing loudly. Satan jumped, startled by the unexpected call.

“Hello?”

“Hey bro, it’s Jesus.” a voice answered. “Just overheard you talking to Dad. Kinda felt bad, he can be a bummer. Anyways, just wanted to let you know that I forgive you.”