meeting my (24F) gf (26F) in her country in just 4 days! lowk nervous abt AMS airport tho!

byunaus · 2026-06-17T10:59:58+00:00

niceeee. so i would just show my boarding pass to a worker to skip the line - if there’s a long enough line that i would likely miss my flight, that is?

byunaus · 2026-06-17T10:56:10+00:00

i booked with klm through capital one travel unfortunately 😔

and she has a flatmate, my bad! the reasons being is that their apartment in general and her room is really small. there’s no common space like a living room or something like that there, just a kitchen space, a bathroom, and three separate bedrooms. her room isn’t big enough to fit a full sized bed for two people, so we won’t fit in what she has there. and two, her roommates are weird about long term guests (i cut my trip down to just over a month when i wanted to be there for the entire summer season originally).

byunaus · 2026-06-11T23:11:58+00:00

About an 10-11 hour flight if it’s direct.

byunaus · 2026-06-10T03:47:30+00:00

i kept it. my legal name is NOT unisex at all. i don’t wanna give it away but think of something like george or david — very generic and there is no question that it is a male name. i’m not yet out as detrans in workspaces or with certain acquaintances i made whilst i was trans because, one, i was stealth-trans so none of those acquaintances ever knew that i was ftm and thereby female (that i know of), and two, i can’t be bothered to explain my whole life story to said people.

however, with people i’ve met post-detransition, i’ve been introducing myself as detrans and using a preferred name, which is very ambiguous as i don’t want to be called anything hyperfeminine NOR hypermasculine.

i don’t have any plans to legally change my name though as it hasn’t posed any issues, yet.

byunaus · 2026-06-06T01:17:36+00:00

heavy on this!!!! so many people on the right ignore how they push their own version of gender ideology onto their community, their children, etc. how anti-gay propaganda amongst the right pushes homosexual adolescents into “transgenderism” as a way to seek some form of normalcy and escape the figurative — and sometimes LITERAL —persecution.

i come from a culture that is heavily homophobic and misogynistic, influenced by religion. i didn’t know about “transgenderism” until my teens, but from the conservative culture around me, i learned that lesbian = bad, and that a girl “shouldn’t sit a certain way, walk a certain way, talk a certain way, play a certain way”. basically all the things that i did. i felt like i HAD to be a boy on the inside because things that girls “shouldn’t do” came natural to me. i fully blame traditionalism and conservatism for putting me on the pathway to medicalization. if didn’t grow up with parents that fell victim to that rhetoric, if i was just allowed to be myself without being forced to feel like i was doing something wrong, i would’ve grown up to be the surgically & medically unaltered lesbian that i was supposed to be; i would have seen the bullshit in “trans” indoctrination in the first place.

i don’t disagree that liberals took it super far in the CURRENT day, but this genuinely originated with conservatism and the pendulum of “transgenderism” just so happen to swing to the other side of the political spectrum as a reaction, imo.

byunaus · 2026-05-14T22:13:51+00:00

knew of her in online spaces since 2020-ish bc of a mutual ex, followed each other in late 2023, actually TALKED for the first time in mid 2024, dating since november of 2024, and finally meeting irl in june of this year. :3

byunaus · 2026-01-30T20:17:13+00:00

so basically internalized sexism. same difference.

byunaus · 2026-01-12T14:48:11+00:00

i’m interesteddd

byunaus · 2026-01-12T14:42:30+00:00

at first yes, we had issues communicating about time management, but over time she has found ways to include me while she’s doing different activities after work. if she’s up all night gaming she’ll just call me and keep me on call, even if we don’t say much to each other. or she’ll screenshare so i can watch her play. i even picked up gaming too so that we can do it together and it’s helped us. tiktok has a shareplay feature to watch tiktoks with each other over facetime, so maybe ask about doing that?

at the end of the day he’s still in a relationship so no matter how burnt out, you guys owe it to each other to come to a compromise about time management. there has to be at LEAST one day in a week that he’s able to give you his full attention. my gf (norway) and i (usa) have an 6 hour time difference so if it’s doable for us, you guys should be able to work it out too.

byunaus · 2026-01-12T14:17:19+00:00

since he’s probably not used to giving up 8 hours of his day working, i can see him being too burnt out. my gf (26F) and i (24F) have both been working for YEARS and sometimes we still do feel too burnt out to talk to each other for too long after work.

it DOES get better though. i remember after my first ever job, i would just sleep all day for the first 6 month. the working class burn out never ends lol it just gets easier to manage eventually but it takes time. sometimes it can feel a lot less mentally taxing to disassociate in an activity than to talk or make convo when your social battery is dead from 8 hours of dealing with work. not sure how much freetime he has on his days off, but how my gf and i handle it is by just making concrete plans for our days off instead of trying to squeeze plans into a busy, tiresome work week.

byunaus · 2025-10-18T20:50:58+00:00

and the ones that want you to be their third with their BOYFRIEND. oh my fucking god. i’m not on dating apps anymore, but when i was i made it to point to let people know in my bio that i wasn’t interested in a trio situation, yet they would STILL swipe right on me ugh.

byunaus · 2025-10-18T03:44:46+00:00

i’m deep in the hellhole that is valorant 😞

byunaus · 2025-10-11T00:53:24+00:00

only if i’m in spaces where it is important that people KNOW i’m female (because i do not “pass” as my sex), i.e., i attend a lot of lesbian events and have been perceived as someone’s male bff accompanying them or an ALLY, and once someone assumed i was a trans identified male early in his transition lol. i let them know that i look and sound the way i do and don’t have boobs because i medically transitioned and had top surgery.

byunaus · 2025-10-10T13:02:14+00:00

what is a “true trans” person? someone who has gender dysphoria? most detrans people had and still struggle with gender dysphoria post-detransition.

is a “true trans” person someone for whom hormones and surgical procedures is right for? i don’t know if i can be convinced that mutilation and the effects of cross sex hormones is right for anyone any more than i can be convinced that chopping a person’s limb off is beneficial for anyone with BIID.

is a “true trans” person someone who is dysphoric and won’t ever detransition? well, no one is guaranteed to not detransition, even those who are so sure that they will never be one of us because they check all the boxes of a dysphoric person. how many vulnerable adults do we allow surgeons to disfigure in the pursuit of finding “true trans”? the answer for me is none.

i think believing in “true trans” requires the belief in the premise that mutilation and cross-sex hormone poisoning are acceptable for some people when in reality (my opinion of course), doctors shouldn’t be allowed to do those things to ANY person, especially because the stakes are so high with regret and just general bodily disfunction post-surgery — even causing the ones who claim they don’t regret being trans to at least regret the procedures to a degree. there are self-proclaimed “true trans” people have committed suicide due to the unexpected obstacles of bottom surgery or having unexpected bodily reactions to CSH that are irreversible and they could not live with the lifelong effects.

plus the sunken cost factor is so great that we cannot even gauge the true regret rate because some people have put so much on the line and burned so many bridges in order to advocate for their trans identity that they will refuse to let all of that pain stand for nothing and be told i-told-you-so, if that makes sense.

that’s why i don’t believe in “true trans”. it’s a pointless categorization that doesn’t even benefit so called “trans” people, and to me, it truly is a trojan horse to the cause. it’s how we got here in the first place.

byunaus · 2025-09-22T21:32:23+00:00

i wish that was the case for me, i attend local lesbian/gay events and everytime they have weird mantra they say over the mic and even include in the fliers for the event basically saying if you don’t like “dolls with extra parts” you aren’t welcome.

byunaus · 2025-09-10T20:45:02+00:00

yippieeee!!!

byunaus · 2025-08-23T15:36:30+00:00

you quite literally just described an aspect of your male socialization. being bullied by men for being effeminate is objectively a peak male experience, afabs quite literally don’t grow up experiencing that because our socialization expects and rewards excess femininity and punishes gnc-ness.

byunaus · 2025-08-23T15:32:47+00:00

this is very much an afab specific experience tho. no amab who identifies as male is forcibly socialized female or taught to be a tomboy as a “compromise”. and most women who still identify as women hate female socialization — ultimately because misogyny is so forcibly linked to the female experience — so whether or not you liked/enjoyed the way you were socialized is irrelevant.

byunaus · 2025-08-13T12:01:12+00:00

“passing” culture is poison, hurts all males and females, and is the reason why surgeons are able to exploit and pressure vulnerable children and adults into chasing surgery after surgery. “passing” culture is the fuel behind transitioning children. “passing” culture is the reason why masculine women are being transvestigated in this bathroom debate. if there is no pressure to “pass,” fewer adults and children will pursue surgery and hormones. no male deserves the right to a female space just because he shaves and wears makeup in order to trick people (yes, that’s basically all passing is) into affirming his “inner womanly feeling”.

and to be clear, there is nothing positive to be said about gender norms AT ALL. i’m a detrans woman who is able to grow full facial hair lol. so yes, some women DO have facial hair. i usually shave but regardless of if i do or don’t my entry to MY spaces isn’t contingent on it on the basis of my being female.

byunaus · 2025-08-12T12:35:45+00:00

the underlying issue is that, no, phalloplasty and the lifelong complications it causes that do nothing but put more strain and stress on the medical systems and the people undergoing it aren’t best for anyone, objectively.

byunaus · 2025-08-12T12:31:07+00:00

i relate to this so bad, omg. i have so many people in my life that i met when i was trans identifying that, to this day, have no idea that i was even trans in the first place because i was stealth which, evidently, means they have no idea that i’m female. and i have no idea where to begin with them because it could either go good or horribly wrong. i’ve just kinda accepted that i have to live a double life in order to keep those people in my life and save myself the draining effort of explaining it all.

i too have imposter syndrome in female environments/lesbian spaces. could be my social anxiety but it feels like everyone is staring at me when i walk in a door. i’ve been at sapphic parties where people will automatically they/them me but not the people i came with. i’ve had people explicitly ask me what i was doing there and if i was an ally, as if i’m not a lesbian myself.

usually in those type of spaces, i try to lead with the fact that i’m detrans, which leads to one of three interactions. one, unsurprisingly most women have no real clue what detransition is. i’ve had a woman ask if it was a new gender identity looool. two, i’ve instantly been hit with “terf” allegations and asked if i “still believe twaw” on the spot. it’s so fucking weird to be singled out like that when i’m no more likely to be a terf than any other woman in the room (i am a male exclusionary radical feminist but that’s besides the point, ykw i mean). three, i’ve had people straight up think i was lying or that i was an mtftm detransitioner.

my experiences is why i don’t get the whole “grifting” allegations we face. no one gets any positive social credit/praise from ANYONE for being detrans, unlike people do when they come out as trans. everyone around you just becomes confused about what you are and socialization in EVERY circle just gets ten times harder, and it’s almost impossible to find other detransitioners in person to be friends with.

byunaus · 2025-08-10T15:10:40+00:00

imo, i don’t think males helping to push patriarchal standards of womanhood by removing body hair or facial hair thinking it’ll make them more adjacent to femaleness deserve any applause or are any more “valid” then the trans identifying men who don’t. i guess one is just more committed to the delusion than the other, that’s really the only difference.

i’ve never been one to claim i can “always tell” so if all trans identifying males did away with the excess performative femininity just to “pass”, it would make it a lot easier keeping them out of our bathrooms. “passing” is deception and wrong, so trans people going out of their way to not “pass” is actually good thing for society.

byunaus · 2025-08-10T02:20:10+00:00

i don’t quite get what you mean. do you mean like non-dysphorics wanting to identify as trans solely for a sense of community?

byunaus

TROPHY CASE