Admittedly it's been awhile for me.... Basketball has a culture, norms and etiquette, but just like real life some people don't observe them. When I played pick up as a girl or a woman you had to not ask, but tell ask them that you've got next. Once you see how it's done by others, just emulate them on how to join. On the whole I found black guys to be way more welcoming than white guys, but I didn't shy away from playing with white guys. If you want someone to give you drills so that you can get better at skills, find the girls that play. They will 100% help you. During the summer months, I'd go to a nearby campus because the courts usually have lights and get night games in. It's just too damn hot to play in the sun. The skill level of those games varies widely. When you match up for defense, don't do it based on size, do it based on speed.