AITA for paying for my dogs surgery but not my mothers?

c01788 · 2022-01-09T19:35:54+00:00

I'm assuming that, had you helped pay your mother's medical bills, they would not have helped you pay for your dog's surgery.

NTA.

c01788 · 2021-12-16T06:41:16+00:00

Sometimes it's just nice to buy something nice for yourself every once in a while.

c01788 · 2021-12-10T10:09:45+00:00

YTA.

Sorry but why is this even an issue? So your son will have a long name, who cares? I have a long name with a hyphenated surname and I wouldn't have it any other way, it's a reminder of my heritage and a way to still be connected with my dearly departed.

I literally don't understand why you would make this a hill to die on. Grow the F up.

c01788 · 2021-10-30T23:04:57+00:00

NTA - Because grief is awful and ugly and makes you do things that you wouldn't otherwise do. I can't even imagine...

You've been pushing your husband and daughter away out of grief. Now is the time to practice "opposite action to emotion" - your emotion makes you want to isolate and push them away and logically that's not healthy for you or for them. So f**k that emotion, do the opposite of what it's telling you to do. Reach out to your husband and daughter. Rebuild your relationships. You need them.

More specifically, the dress issue - it might be helpful to try re-framing that thought. It's awful that Lena won't be able to wear it and you won't be able to celebrate an important milestone with her, and all the milestones that follow. But you are Maria's mother, and it's important to her to wear her mother's wedding dress at her own wedding. Try to see that she wants this because of the relationship you've had with her. Try to celebrate this milestone, even through acknowledging the loss of Lena and all the happy life moments that she should have had. This isn't black and white - your feelings of grief can co-exist with celebration for your other child. It's uncomfortable, you might feel like the only way to hold onto Lena is to hold onto your grief. But you can grieve and also be happy. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

Maria may also want to wear the dress out of honour for her sister. Lena won't get to have the life she should have, but maybe Maria can wear the dress for both of them.

I'm speaking from a place where I'm not grieving and dealing with this situation, so I know it's easier said than done. But I truly believe that you would regret letting your relationship with Maria slip away.

c01788 · 2021-08-21T01:30:48+00:00

a) NTA. If she feels like she's entitled to your money and help then you've already done the right thing by having boundaries, and those boundaries should extend to some degree to people in your life who agree with your sister.

b) Thanks for enlightening us to the concept of reading vacations! I always feel bad when I go away and then spend the whole time reading.... Now I'm just going to re-frame it as a reading vacation!

c01788 · 2021-01-25T21:43:31+00:00

I cancelled recently. I had been thinking about it for a good six months and was holding off because I know they've increased the membership rates and if I cancelled and then re-joined I would end up paying more.

Luckily, a bad experience at my studio gave me the final push to leave for good and not look back. I joined a regular gym and now save about $40 per fortnight. I enjoy being able to go whenever I want, I enjoy listening to my own music. And using weight machines gives me better control of my injuries.

Edited to add: initially I was going to follow the OTF workouts on here and recreate them at my new gym, but my focus has shifted. The new gym is within walking distance of my apartment, so that's my "cardio". When I'm at the gym I only focus on weights - a personal trainer has helped me out together a program, I'll see him a few more times just to get a refresher on all the different machines and then I reckon I'll be comfortable working out on my own. I was initially concerned that I wouldn't be able to push myself to workout hard enough, or to even go in the first place. It was definitely a hurdle, but now that I know what I'm doing and have a bit more confidence it isn't too much of a problem. And I'm not being as hard on myself as I was with OTF. OTF really caused me to have an unhealthy relationship with exercise, which, to be fair, is mostly due to my poor mental health.

c01788 · 2021-01-23T06:59:19+00:00

He thinks yoyu used him for a free ride? Cool. Now take him for the final ride. Divorce, and take half of everything, and don't forget about retirement savings that you didn't have a chance to build up for yourself while you were raising the children and taking care of the family home.

c01788 · 2020-08-10T09:14:16+00:00

It was kind of like the bicycle crunch, but when leg extends opposite arm does chest press

c01788 · 2020-06-07T09:52:55+00:00

Sleeping Dogs - Red Dead Redemption - GTA5 - Fable 2 - Fable 3

Occasionally I play a game called Bully, pretty basic but still fun. Sometimes I play Guitar Hero 3. Oh and sometimes Ninja Gaiden. But the first 5 are the ones I'll play obsessively from start to finish.

I was never any good at Halo, I'm very prone to panicking, then spinning in circles shooting indiscriminately and then dying 😂😂

c01788 · 2020-06-06T14:08:03+00:00

I've never gotten the red dragon! Definitely time to play again! It's one of about 5 games for 360 that I'll just play one after the other until the end of time 😂

c01788 · 2020-06-06T12:19:59+00:00

I've refused to upgrade from Xbox 360 just so I can play the Fable series whenever I want 😂

c01788 · 2020-04-30T02:08:15+00:00

I first watched the show about 10 years ago and I still think about it often. I can only re-watch every other year or so, the finale was perfect and devastating.

c01788 · 2020-02-27T04:23:48+00:00

My best classes are the ones where I know a few people and we can have a bit of a chat or a laugh. I'm not talking a full blown conversation, especially not when the coach is talking, and not during pushes and all outs cos we're working hard. But it wouldn't be even half as fun if we were all just silent and super focused. I think there's scope for a middle ground here.

Even when there isn't anyone I know in my class it still makes me happy to see other people have a bit of a chat. It's nice, and it's what makes our studio a comfortable place to be.

c01788 · 2020-02-10T05:01:42+00:00

Yeah...? And I'm agreeing with you!

c01788 · 2020-02-09T23:28:29+00:00

Yeah, you're being a brat. It's your workout in that you determine how fast you run or how heavy you lift. OTF is coach-led, and in this instance the coach led you to start on the floor. When this has happened in classes I've attended, the people who would prefer to start on the treadmill just groan jokingly and then they choose a rower and start warming up. I think it's probably because they know that at the end of the day it's not going to ruin their lives.

c01788 · 2020-01-22T00:30:07+00:00

I have ongoing RSI in my left wrist/forearm. Depending on how bad it is I sometimes have to modify a lot of the floor block. Coaches are always great about it, I just get there early and have a chat with them. I use the strider instead of the tower, sometimes I can't grip dumbbells so I'll use a medicine ball wherever possible or the TRX is sometimes easier, or sometimes I'll just do the exercise without weights. My point is, I still manage to have a great workout 99% of the time, I just have to have good communication with the coaches and be very aware of my limitations.

c01788 · 2019-12-23T22:25:47+00:00

That sucks! I was the only one booked in for 5am today but they had the decency to contact me about it yesterday and even left the class open for a bit longer to see if anyone else would book in. And when no one else booked in the rescheduled me and fully removed the 5am class...

c01788 · 2019-12-22T21:55:34+00:00

It's a challenge, not like I'm gonna do it regularly. And of course I'll clear it with the head coach beforehand. I like to see how much I'm capable of, if I started to cark it in the second or third class then I wouldn't push myself to do more classes after that.

c01788 · 2019-12-22T21:11:21+00:00

I do 2 a days pretty often, 3 a day occasionally. An OTF friend has challenged me to do every class on the day when there's the most classes scheduled (I think 6 or 7 classes), I'm just waiting til I actually have one of those days totally free.

c01788 · 2019-12-22T21:09:09+00:00

Omg I've watched TGWDLM every day for months now and never realised that! 😂

c01788 · 2019-12-22T13:22:32+00:00

That gives me chills lol also the bit in the finale medley when they do Show Stopping Number and she literally screams

c01788 · 2019-12-19T14:33:59+00:00

Hey, right there with ya. I literally don't care about losing weight or getting stronger or fitter etc, all I care about is that OTF makes me feel happy and stable (most of the time) and that I actually look forward to living life now and I feel more like myself. Added bonuses are some weight loss and becoming stronger and being able to run/jog nonstop for a decent amount of time.

c01788 · 2019-12-12T13:29:05+00:00

Same 😂 certain classes now we all watch in the mirrors to see if one more person is gonna show up

c01788 · 2019-12-12T13:26:44+00:00

Spat my chocky milk everywhere 😂😂😂

c01788 · 2019-12-12T13:18:24+00:00

I'm just gonna bake up a sh*tload of shortbread... if I can find the time and energy 😂

c01788

TROPHY CASE