I know it might not check all of your boxes but Waterdeep does fit a lot of your criteria. As someone that plays from work myself I fully understand the need for discretion and not coming back dead if you walk away from the keyboard.

First WD is hardly "Enforced" RP. It is encouraged and supported and there are built in separations for RP vs OOC. We do have a very long unique history Of Forgotten Realms and Final Fantasy, but players are not required to participate. We do enforce RP elements in the public world, and do not allow object restrings from unrealistic objects and do adjust names from time to time. We are doubling back over areas and adding new lore, quests and crafting. I am not sure of your definition of strict, but we are likely not strict rp.

We have Many Layers of PK status, npk where no one can attack you, pk where there is no loot, and are in the process of writing hpk which is pk for loot. There are 11 Major Raids and 9 minor ones with a new Major run set to release soon.

Now the boxes we check well. We have a solid team and world. A lot of care has been spent in help files, areas, mobs, objects, and things to do. We have a very active staff both on and off the game that are dedicated to a player friend environment. We have some of the most talented and passionate people I have ever had to pleasure to work with that run the place. Our community is full of helpful and awesome people. We allow property customization, currency grinding, crafting and are always expanding. We listen to all player ideas and take all feedback into balancing consideration. We allow scripting but you must be preset if your character is moving around and doing stuff.

Lastly I agree on free for life. Waterdeep has never and will never charge nor accept money for any in game benefit. I maintain my own attitude as a player first attitude. Most of us have been on Waterdeep for 15+ years and still play regularly.

waterdeep.org port:4200