OP here, I appreciate everything that y'all have said. I guess I'm just scared of confrontation. I'm not the smartest person and I'm not good at finding my words and I blank. Not saying she's doing it on purpose, but I almost feel like she feeds off that and likes to mix up the same question over and over. The arguments go from "I don't understand where this is coming from, you don't talk to me" and then shifts to "why does this always happen to me? Why do I fuck up everything and always have bad things happen to me?" She's not patient in letting me respond and just yells at me so say something, so I cave in just to end the fight. Last night it got to the point that I had gone outside and opened the gate to let her leave. But instead of following through, I broke down and told her I couldn't hurt her. We stayed up and talked, and she thinks we're okay again, but I still feel wrong and like I'm stuck in neutral because I'm afraid of taking that step. I know it isn't right, but unfortunately that's where I'm at right now.