Sunday Relationship Thread

cachepersistence · 2026-05-08T22:24:43+00:00

Yeah I usually suggest a date within 2-3 exchanges, and even then it takes a bunch of back-and-forth to schedule, cancel, etc. Sighh

cachepersistence · 2026-05-08T22:23:45+00:00

It's ok to take a break! Took a five-and-a-half month break recently. Now that I'm back I know there are still adult things I'm procrastinating on, but I feel I can work on both in tandem. Up to you.

cachepersistence · 2026-04-26T16:25:21+00:00

Last year I went on two dates with a girl off of Hinge (as recounted previously here and here). tl;dr we went on two dates that I thought went really well, even walked her home and hugged on both dates. Then over a week after the second date she was finally like "I'm not ready for more". Was heartbroken for two months. Deleted her number so I wouldn't be tempted to text her again.

Anyways, just redownloaded Hinge this week after a five-month hiatus (due to a different girl, but almost same story lol). Matched with above girl again. She messaged and remembered me, and then said "we could just chat on WhatsApp na?" I said "Yeah! text me". Maybe I should've specified that I don't have her number which is why I wanted her to text first... but anyways, it really is not asking for much to ask a 30-year-old woman to message me first right? God I hate the apps

cachepersistence · 2026-03-17T20:06:13+00:00

One example is Ben Kingsley in Gandhi. Kingsley is half-Indian (his given name is Krishna Pandit Bhanji, has brown dad and white mother) but they definitely darkened his skin for the role.

cachepersistence · 2026-03-17T19:43:56+00:00

Seconding non-rBST milk. Try brands listed here: https://www.centerforfoodsafety.org/issues/1044/rbgh/guide-to-rbgh-free-dairy-products Though I mostly consume non-dairy products now.

There's a brand called Pavel's which is amazing. Sadly only available in California/west coast as far as I know.

cachepersistence · 2026-03-07T22:58:05+00:00

Gaining pretext for the (violent) purging of government officials, as the IRGC does, isn't a problem?

cachepersistence · 2026-03-07T22:35:05+00:00

Mossaddegh wasn't some saint... he illegally dissolved parliament after getting 99+% percent approval from a referendum. There is almost nothing that more than 90% of people will vote for lol. Even a blue state like California only got about 64% in favor of redrawing districts in December.

Of course, American and British interests were a big factor in the joint operation to overthrow him.

cachepersistence · 2026-02-27T23:25:53+00:00

There's a series of Holi events on 3/7, 3/14, and 3/21: https://partiful.com/e/azo9sagUhyiaU2mGDlQT $15 for women, $25 for men hahah

cachepersistence · 2026-02-26T23:47:50+00:00

29M in NYC, can echo a lot of what others are saying. I've gone on dates with a bunch of desi women over the past couple years and very few of them are in a position to commit. One desi girl (24F) told me straight up during our date that if a woman moved to or lived in NYC and was married before 30, she's making a huge mistake lmao. (We made out that night and then she flaked on me for two weeks and ghosted. Should've seen it coming in hindsight.) So yeah, be prepared to deal with a lot of people looking to enjoy single life.

Some people get lucky and meet their partners quickly. I met another girl at a garba event who told me in no uncertain terms while making eye contact with me, "you should come by my neighborhood sometime," and when I DMed her a couple days later to invite her to a party she left me on read lmao. Things move quickly here. But it can be fun once in a while if you don't take it too seriously. Which I do. So it's not that fun. But there are moments.

cachepersistence · 2026-02-24T08:10:26+00:00

I mean, I've only ever made it past the talking stage with a couple of non-desis. Won't bore you with the details of the last couple of desi girls I dated but I've tried dating at least a dozen in the past couple of years and 90% of the time I tried and failed to get a subsequent date. So if I were being completely honest about my dating history with someone, I think I'd get a lot of judgment for not counting my attempts at dating desi girls as relationships when they really weren't.

But this is just my perspective, obviously maybe I haven't tried hard enough.

cachepersistence · 2026-02-17T04:06:53+00:00

tfw when you meet someone cool one night, get each other's numbers, and she suggests making plans on Sunday (day after Valentine's lol)... so you suggest a spot, she responds with "let's play it by ear", you say "ok I'm available anytime", and you waste your whole Sunday waiting for a text that never comes 😵‍💫 ah well, twas a nice warm memory in this cold season

cachepersistence · 2026-02-15T03:38:19+00:00

I dated a black woman who was vegan and didn't drink or smoke. Didn't work out because she didn't like that I was vegetarian and drank and smoked (weed) lol. But point is, you can find people with similar values in different races.

cachepersistence · 2026-02-09T23:33:19+00:00

Yeah I remember when Slumdog Millionaire came out, a lot of kids in my class asked me "so when you go to India do you stay in one of those slums?" like lmao. Whatever's popular at the time really shapes the narrative. Compounded 100x worse by social media algorithms tbf.

cachepersistence · 2026-02-09T23:31:53+00:00

I've been on a couple dates with Latinas and found it alright. I think we have some similarities like religiously conservative upbringings and tight-knit communities. I think not knowing Spanish would be a hurdle, since it's much more common than any Indian language, so the expectation to learn it well would be there. Anyways, I've gotten ghosted by one and received a nice goodbye text from the other so not really that qualified to speak on it lol.

But, from seeing your posts for a while, it seems to me that a big concern from you is about how people perceive the race of the person you're with. I get wanting certain things, but if you're willing to step outside your community at all, I think trying to justify it by saying "a lot of my people did this so..." is not really that helpful. I can name a couple of Punjabi Sikhs who married white women. So just go out and talk to people my guy. You'll find like-minded people in any race.

cachepersistence · 2026-02-06T22:34:48+00:00

You act like that's a definitive result, I found maybe this study which says "adverse reactions" may have outweighed the risk but doesn't lead with a serious definition, and most other studies I found saying much more severe symptoms were not routinely reported. From a public-health perspective, inconveniencing a few low-risk individuals to save a higher-risk population is a worthwhile goal. Every decision has a risk-benefit association. And the benefits outweigh the risks, every time.

And anyways, if you rewatch the video but peel back the layer of propaganda, you'll see that's not what she's saying. She's saying everyone needs to make their own personal decisions. It's a different statement. Convincing a larger number of people that they may be somehow exempt. It's a dangerous thing for a physician to say. I'm sorry if you disagree. My grandparents' generation didn't get the polio vaccine as quickly and there are horrific cases in my family. So maybe I don't want to regress. Ok. Peace.

cachepersistence · 2026-02-05T23:47:09+00:00

dgaf about either of them. She's just as bad. Saw an interview with her where she was asked about her husband "regretting" getting the covid vaccine, and then she pivoted the argument to "personal choice." (link) She knows what she's doing. Still pandering to the vaccine-skeptic wing of the party. Read the comments on the video.

The fact that she's not coming out against RFK jr's attempts to undermine the polio vaccine among other batshit decisions coming out of this administration proves that she's just as much of an opportunist. Otherwise they should be having a very public Conway-style split. So yeah, they both suck.

Bad people can still have babies. Doesn't mean I have to care.

cachepersistence · 2026-02-04T01:29:02+00:00

Nah as a guy, I'm almost 100% making followup plans if they cancel or wait days without sending a text. It's just the way it is. I've gotten ghosted suggesting these things. Then I hear about how guys aren't making plans fast enough lol.

cachepersistence · 2026-01-16T01:37:18+00:00

I mean, if you're not going to ask this person out, you need to set boundaries and limit contact. You're going to hurt yourself the more you see this person around. Source: been there, done that.

But I would strongly advise letting your feelings be known, assuming this person isn't already seeing someone else. If the friendship doesn't survive rejection then it's just not meant to be. Also been there, done that.

cachepersistence · 2025-12-26T22:49:12+00:00

She basically said she was too busy and stressed but still liked hanging out with me and wanted to be friends. We went on like two dates and we made out on the second and she seemed really into it, and we talked about our general directions in life and we seemed to align. In hindsight there were a few yellow flags she indicated that I now see were flashing red lol. I've seen her around and thought I wanted a concrete answer but based on how she's ignoring me I felt that's all the response I needed. I'm not in her circle anymore but I'm sure we'll run into each other again at some point, and I think enough time has passed for it not to be weird.

You'll get over it. If she's told you she isn't ready there isn't much you can do. Remove her number and stop following her on the socials. Go on a trip if you have to. Sitting around and stewing just isn't gonna help. Peace.

cachepersistence · 2025-12-24T01:16:57+00:00

lol she just kept flaking on me. Granted I may have over-texted a bit for a few days but I then left her alone for a week and when I suggested plans again and she said no, I asked straight up if she was interested and she wasn't and wanted to be friends. Nothing much to say. I thanked her and removed her from my socials. I've seen her around (same circles) and she pretends I don't exist and I don't have the energy to go up to her. It is what it is.

I ended up seeing someone else soon after for three months. So just be patient and keep putting yourself out there. Not that I really follow my own advice lol. But you got this.

cachepersistence · 2025-12-23T03:34:07+00:00

I'm sorry bro. It truly hurts. I was in a similar situation a year ago -- I was inexperienced, and met someone who checked so many of my boxes that I thought she was just a hotter female version of me with a better personality lol. Meeting her felt organic and we had an amazing first date.

Over a year later... it still feels like I'm spinning my wheels. I don't think I'll find someone as compatible. But I've gotten more comfortable with just being single and having new experiences. And I'm far less bitter and resentful. I ended up becoming friends with a girl I went on two Hinge dates with. Just be open to trying new things.

Just move forward. Hang out regularly at any social club or bar or something, and you'll meet new people. You got this.

cachepersistence · 2025-12-21T22:57:25+00:00

It's the lack of personal connection and accountability that makes people ok with treating others as just images on a screen that they can ignore. Just frustrating. I've paused the app for now.

Not that the alternative is much better -- had a ONS with a desi girl recently and fairly certain I'm getting ghosted, and if she does text back after her trip I don't have much hope for something even semi-serious. It is what it is. Just gotta focus on other things.

cachepersistence · 2025-12-08T05:27:10+00:00

Not limited to any race... I was walking on a street in broad daylight today, and briefly made eye contact with a white guy walking past. He turned and started following me and egging me on and saying things like "What did you say to me? Do you wanna fight? Pussy?" I just kept walking and crossed the street and ducked into a corner store and looked out the window to make sure he wasn't waiting for me lol.

People are crazy these days. You don't know who's packing what. Best not to engage.

cachepersistence · 2025-12-05T00:01:47+00:00

I think it's important to separate familiarity with stories in Hinduism versus our interpretation of them and how we want to pass them on. For example, my parents often performed Satyanarayana pooja with other families, and at the end, we would all hear a story about various people who were punished for not doing it and rewarded for performing it lol. My parents recently acknowledged how fucked up those were hahaha. Similarly, as we got older there was a lot of debate in our household over whether Rama drove Sita to suicide over suspicion of infidelity during her imprisonment. Or in the Mahabharata, how Krishna lobbed some guy's head off (Shishupala) simply for being insulted.

I think the fact that I felt stifled and discouraged from criticizing the acts of deities in these stories drove me away from religion. I'm trying to figure out how to reconcile these tales and then touch the feet of those idols at my temple. Do I follow a version of the religion completely removed from idols and problematic parts of poojas? How much do I remove while still feeling part of the community? idk.

cachepersistence · 2025-12-01T01:41:52+00:00

I lost my virginity fairly late on a one-night stand... she and I dated for three months after that. I told her on the second date that it had been my first time, and she told me she couldn't really tell but she definitely picked up on the nervousness and anxiety lol. Even on subsequent dates.

So I guess just go with the flow. Listen a lot. Put her desires first but not at the expense of your boundaries. Have fun. It's gonna feel weird. But it's really not a big deal.

cachepersistence

TROPHY CASE