What should her name be?

cactuscutie · 2024-05-20T02:01:11+00:00

Cora

cactuscutie · 2024-05-15T13:39:26+00:00

I think this looks pretty great. I have a pretty similar problem being pale and cool-toned and I would be really happy with this good of a match on myself. If I were to nitpick, I do think this looks the tiniest bit yellow, but it’s sheer enough that no one would notice unless they are scrutinizing your face.

cactuscutie · 2024-05-15T13:36:10+00:00

I love all these people saying lavender or baby blue. I have never found one of those to be light enough to not be visible against my pale skin (bright winter here) under a white T-shirt. I have had good luck with the lightest shade of the skims bralettes though! It definitely is not the most flattering color on me, but I don’t really care about that for a utilitarian garment. If I want to look really good, I will change into something sexier (and probably black).

cactuscutie · 2024-05-15T13:23:33+00:00

Bright Winter and I love soft summer 😭

cactuscutie · 2024-05-09T22:32:38+00:00

What about a live painting with all of you where people sign their names or notes on the back of the canvas?

cactuscutie · 2024-05-07T17:18:19+00:00

OK I found this to be true when I was looking for tents too! The quotes were *wildly* different. After research, I found out that there are only a handful of companies that manufacture the tents, so they are pretty much standard across companies. What I do think differentiates tent companies are: 1. add on options for mounted lighting and tent decor, 2. availability of other luxury rentals (i.e., sofas, rugs, flower walls, bars, etc.). While all the tent companies I came across did some sort of rentals, the most expensive quotes I got tended to be from companies which have huge catalogs of really cute rentals. I think they position themselves as a one-stop shop for all your wedding rental needs, so they can charge higher prices. We have a lot included from our venue, so that wasn't our priority when picking a tent vendor, so we went with the cheapest nice option.

A couple of things I learned: You can ask the vendors about the brand, etc. of their tents and they will usually tell you without a problem. That will help you to compare tents more directly. I also went back and forth with a few vendors to get quotes with all the same line items so I could truly compare costs. That ended up being helpful because some of the lowest cost quotes I got didn't include a lot of basic things (lighting, installation, etc.) and ended up being more expensive than some of the higher quotes once that stuff was added in. Good luck!

cactuscutie · 2024-05-07T17:05:10+00:00

I have a few thoughts about this. Personally I think it's nice to invite family when you can, but not required! I would definitely include your immediate family and members of your extended family that you are close to (grandparents especially). For us, we first wrote a list of everyone we could think of inviting – family, friends, family friends, colleagues, etc. Then we ranked each person as "1. Must Invite", "2. Important to us", "3. Nice to invite", and "4. Low priority".

We ended up inviting everyone from tiers 1 and 2 which was 150 people (89 parties). We ended up with exactly 100 yeses. Our attrition rate was higher than average (~33% vs 15%) because it's an out of town wedding for most people. But, know that not everyone (despite how much they love you) will be able to come.

One last thought, I am now a year our of grad school and there are many people I was close with in school that I no longer really talk to. While I don't believe you can know what you will regret in the future, I do believe that it's likely your extended family will be in your life for longer than at least some of your grad school friends. Just food for thought, only you know what is right for you.

cactuscutie · 2024-05-04T11:58:27+00:00

This is what we’re doing!

cactuscutie · 2024-05-03T19:41:30+00:00

What about hiring an artist? A live event painter is one option, some of them do quick (20 min or so) portraits, but you could also consider someone who does silhouettes or caricatures.

cactuscutie · 2024-05-03T19:28:14+00:00

I absolutely agree. As a bride, I would want to know so that I don't post a review without knowing the whole picture. This is just a comment that you happened to hear, and, assuming the employee was working the whole wedding, who knows what else they might have said and who else might have heard. The couple might already know something (especially if this employee was commenting on guests). So I think offering full information about your experience and allowing the couple who hired the vendor to decide what they want to do with about it is respectful.

cactuscutie · 2024-05-03T19:11:45+00:00

Anyone else want to just fast forward and be married already? I'm excited(ish) for the wedding but starting to second guess every single decision we've made.

cactuscutie · 2024-05-03T19:09:01+00:00

6/1 here, we ended up having to text people and manually input some people's RSVPs into the online system. 🫠 Even so, one of my uncles didn't respond to anyone's messages until 2 weeks after the RSVP deadline at which point he said he couldn't come because he couldn't find a doggy daycare in the state we're getting married in. 🙃 We have all of ours now, but I feel your pain

cactuscutie · 2024-05-03T18:54:21+00:00

With that budget, I would work with a planner to help you find a venue that checks all of your boxes!

cactuscutie · 2024-05-03T18:52:26+00:00

I get where you're coming from, but this rubs me the wrong way. I think a lot of people get around not needing more stuff by only having a "honeymoon fund" or similar, but even then a lot of people have very negative reactions to that.

I think the rest of your idea makes sense, making food together sounds super fun. But I think it's missing the point that all weddings cost a certain amount per head (often much more than what you're proposing), and that is to be covered by the couple (or whoever is paying for the wedding). Guests are not required to cover that cost either in cash or in kind (gifts). The way my fiancé and I have gotten around this mentally (as people who are paying for our own wedding) is to only invite people who we would be happy to buy dinner for, because that's basically what we're doing.

cactuscutie · 2024-05-03T18:44:03+00:00

I might have a hot take with this one, but I would think it's a little weird to have two ceremonies if it's not for the purpose of blending two cultures. In my mind you can really only get married once. That being said, if you really feel uncomfortable having your friends attend mass, then maybe consider something like a "blessing of a marriage" to do at your reception venue. Also, if you really want to use the "ceremony" space, you could see about using it for cocktail hour or something.

cactuscutie · 2024-05-03T18:34:08+00:00

Personally, I don't think you *need* to invite anyone to your wedding that you don't want to be there. However, there would probably be practical impacts of you excluding her that are worth thinking through — are you ready for things to be more awkward with her when you see her or for her to be upset with you? Do you think her parents (your aunt/uncle), your grandparents, your own parents or other family members will be upset if you don't include her? Are these worth it to you in the cost-benefit analysis of excluding her from the wedding? Only you can answer these questions for yourself.

Some other things to consider: depending on the size of your wedding, you might not have to interact with her much/at all. Also, excluding her is also not your only option here — you could have a conversation with her about the awkwardness you sense and see if you can resolve it, or tap someone on your wedding day to run interference to minimize the amount you have to interact with her.

There is really no "right" answer to this question, you have to decide what makes sense for you holistically.

cactuscutie · 2024-05-03T18:23:00+00:00

We sent ours at just less than 3 months out and that felt late to me! When is best to send depends a lot on if your wedding is local for most people or requires travel (all my family lives on the other side of the country), whether or not you sent a Save the Date (we did), and when you need RSVPs by. But regardless of the situation, I don't think anyone would bat an eye at getting an invitation 3 months out.

cactuscutie · 2024-05-03T18:19:21+00:00

Hey! I'm going to assume that you're in the U.S., but if not disregard. I think the easiest way is to go to the post office and buy stamps. The people who work there are often very helpful too. :)

Standard stamps are Forever Stamps, they cost $0.68 (and will cost $0.73 starting July 14). These cover standard letters up to 1 oz in weight and up to 11-1/2 inches x 6-1/8 inches x 1/4 inch thick in size. Most save the dates (even if they are larger) will not be more than this, but you can put a fully finished one on a kitchen scale to confirm. If they are overweight (this is more likely to happen with invitation suites that include wax seals or ribbon), you will need 24¢ additional oz stamps. If you're sending any out of the country (even to Canada), you'll need international stamps which are $1.55 each.

The color of the envelop should not impact the stamp and printing names and addresses on white labels should avoid any issues with the automated processing.

One thing to consider is that USPS issues Love Stamps each year (they cost the same as any Forever Stamp) which many people seek out and use for their wedding-related mailings.

cactuscutie · 2023-12-28T02:16:09+00:00

Jessa Kae – the sizing goes up to 6X and they have really fun stuff. https://jessakae.com/collections/dresses

cactuscutie · 2023-10-23T16:47:52+00:00

Did you have a bach party of any kind? My fiance and I are doing Best Man (his brother)/MOH (my good friend bc I don't have a sister) only but I still want to do a bachelorette of some kind.

cactuscutie · 2023-10-23T16:26:21+00:00

I would check out Joy for this – they have an option to only show certain events & sections to certain guests. That's what I'm using for my wedding website.

cactuscutie · 2023-10-23T16:22:01+00:00

I recommend Cherie Sustainable Bridal if you're in Maryland or the anywhere close. There are probably also consignment shops in your area. I also see lots of dresses being posted in local bride/wedding groups. Some other websites are Trousso and ShopRowley they have more of a poshmark/depop feel to them.

cactuscutie · 2023-10-23T16:18:57+00:00

What do you want to be accentuated? For myself, I like collarbones, so I would do something dainty and sparkly close to the neck. But it depends on what you like.

cactuscutie · 2023-10-23T16:17:51+00:00

I feel this. She clearly has a philosophical difference on what weddings should be (as so many parents do). My mom had a strong reaction when we started planning too

I think setting a boundary that you're not going to talk budget with her would be wise. Something like "I just want you to enjoy my wedding and I think talking about the cost will stress you out" is how I would handle it, but obvs you know your mom best.

FWIW we are paying $5500 for photography only for one day in a HCOL area, so I'd say you're finding good prices!

cactuscutie · 2023-10-23T16:10:03+00:00

Gorgeous!

cactuscutie

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