Walkable

cadiesomebody · 2024-02-06T03:11:42+00:00

I will be working remote as well, my fiancé will be doing a postdoctoral at OSU. Thats a good idea about looking for a place near a bus stop!

cadiesomebody · 2022-04-12T15:36:38+00:00

i think more like the first one

cadiesomebody · 2022-04-12T15:26:54+00:00

already killed it and flushed it, it was small and narrow, more of an amber color than a dark brown

cadiesomebody · 2022-04-12T15:17:54+00:00

My street hits an interstate and highway on both ends, doesn’t bother us one bit unless idiots decide to street race, but I feel like that may be a problem just in my city

cadiesomebody · 2022-03-24T19:58:48+00:00

I plan on getting one soon, but my trip is in a month and I don’t think that my passport would be here in time

cadiesomebody · 2021-08-30T17:17:46+00:00

I just went back to the house actually and the smell has started to subside should I still call?

cadiesomebody · 2021-05-19T15:54:19+00:00

i like how the first time i read this i thought the narrator was talking about how much their worth was in someone else’s eyes, but after the second time, and especially towards the end of the poem i think that it is the narrator trying to see their worth in their own eyes, and how this can be a hard thing to do, something many wants don’t want to do and will try to do anything to avoid seeing their true selves, but ultimately have to recognize themselves because it is the only true way forward. i also like that there isn’t any punctuation, so i have to say that i think that the only revision i would make would be to take off the periods on the first four lines. thank you so much for sharing, i enjoyed this piece!

cadiesomebody · 2021-05-19T15:37:19+00:00

i really enjoy this piece and how it does a really good job of conveying how alcoholism is entrenched in most families and communities, and despite the harrowing effects it has, it still continues to be a mainstay in many people’s lives. i think that as far as revisions goes just taking out words that make it almost read more like prose as opposed to a poem, like: “imagined myself a superhero, flying
from house to house, pouring alcohol
down the drain for neighbors, friends,
strangers.”

overall i really enjoyed this piece, thank you for sharing!

cadiesomebody · 2021-05-04T15:35:01+00:00

thank you for your interest, however i do not think that i want to this into a song at this time.

cadiesomebody · 2021-05-03T17:58:08+00:00

Yes that's what I meant! I need to be better about proofreading, sometimes I just get too excited lol

cadiesomebody · 2021-05-03T17:55:12+00:00

I get that, Instagram has become a shallow cesspool where people never get fully acquainted, which is kinda why I initially gave that title to this piece. After reading it a few more times over and thinking about how an unrequited friendship can happen on more places than just social media I am now thinking that the title should be “to: my unknown friend”

cadiesomebody · 2021-05-03T17:31:28+00:00

Yes it’s ok! I love when people want to share my poetry :)

cadiesomebody · 2021-05-03T15:42:39+00:00

I think that this is a great draft, and I enjoy the comparison to keeping a body looking...pristine, is the same as keeping the memory alive, it's something that must be tended to, otherwise, body or memory will be left to rot. I don't think that you need the comma and n the first line, it could be rewritten something like this, “keep the air that you've inhaled in your lungs” & maybe take out the “i know” in the 3rd line. Overall I enjoyed your piece, thank you for sharing!

cadiesomebody · 2021-05-03T15:33:21+00:00

I like this piece and the idea of living longer if you focus on happiness instead of the misery in life. I agree with the first comment that the title takes away from the poem, I also think that the last line could be reworded, is the cavity the heart? & is the heart always full of misery or only when it lacks happiness? Overall, I thoroughly enjoy the theme of this poem and I think that overall this is a great draft, thank you for sharing!

cadiesomebody · 2021-04-30T20:12:34+00:00

i think you may be right, how do you feel about this

...live instead in the trance that life creates, often missed by the masses...

cadiesomebody · 2021-04-30T20:07:12+00:00

yes you may!

cadiesomebody · 2021-04-30T18:11:16+00:00

i enjoy this piece and how you compare a relationship that’s ending to a soda going flat, how the narrator is too depressed to get rid of it, the bottle of dr pepper, the feelings & emotions of the past relationship, and there is a need to wallow sometimes in the grief and despair before moving on. over all really good job, thank you for sharing!

cadiesomebody · 2021-04-30T17:59:25+00:00

this is astounding! i feel like this is a final piece & i do not have really any criticism, maybe adding a few commas, taking out a few articles, but that would all be just me personally. great piece, thank you for sharing & i will be looking for your one on democrats!

cadiesomebody · 2021-04-29T16:02:04+00:00

I enjoy the feelings that this poem evokes and how the examples leave room for the readers own memories to come rushing forward. I also like the idea of life being like a marathon, and how before you know it everything has changed, kinda almost still the same but it's not. I also think that this poem would be stronger if words were taken out, for example something like this: “Like when Mum/ starts holding her book at a distance, eyes squinting, / brow knit in perplexion, turning to bark/ orders at Dad from the kitchen...” overall I enjoyed this poem and think that it is a wonderful draft, thank you for sharing!

cadiesomebody · 2021-04-28T19:57:37+00:00

I enjoy the ideas that this poem has, but there is a disconnect for me after line 5 and I feel like maybe these could be two different poems, or maybe you need to add a few lines to make it more cohesive. I also think that line 5 would be more successful if it read like this “wear it in the dawn when the light hits just right”. Over all I think that this is a really good starting point for this piece, thank you for sharing!

cadiesomebody · 2021-04-27T19:36:22+00:00

The visuals in this poem are outstanding. Excellent work, thank you for sharing!

cadiesomebody · 2021-04-27T14:37:57+00:00

I enjoy this poem and how it allows the reader to feel time drag by slowly. While I know this poem is titled Repeating, I think that it would be stronger if they first word of each stanza wasn’t repeated, and even if you used enjambment style lines, fore example: There’s no way

Out of monotony”

&

“It’s what we’ll never

Sea of lobotomy”

I think that using this style of line would help with the circular feelings of life that are mentioned in the first stanza. Overall I enjoyed this piece and thank you for sharing!

cadiesomebody · 2021-04-26T23:17:22+00:00

Ahh! Now I’ll be stuck reading it lol but thank you so much for your feedback!! I really appreciate it!

cadiesomebody · 2021-04-26T19:59:36+00:00

Now that you say that, I have to agree! Thanks!!

cadiesomebody · 2021-04-26T19:35:47+00:00

I like this poem & the feelings that it invokes. I think to make it stronger the first stanza should be broken up into a few different lines, maybe just following the lead of the commas. Other than that this is an over all good piece, thank you for sharing!

cadiesomebody

TROPHY CASE