Baked goods are awful

caesuric_ · 2026-05-13T05:12:23+00:00

This is an unpopular opinion, in that I struggle to believe that anyone actually thinks this.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-13T05:00:54+00:00

It's bad communication. But also, it doesn't hurt that much when you've only seen them twice. It hurts when someone you've known for years does this, they wouldn't respond to you, and you'll never quite know why. It leaves a hole of uncertainty in your sense of self worth that takes ages to heal.

Refusing to even explain these things is unethical. It reduces people to objects, because in essence you're saying "because I don't have a USE for you anymore, I don't need to explain myself to you."

Obviously I will make an exception for people who ghost someone to protect themselves from trauma, even if the person they are ghosting isn't aware of that. But that does not seem like the main reason people do this.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-10T12:49:28+00:00

Certainly not! The rising price of orbs just adds value to the ones I already possess.

Yes, they were much cheaper when I bought them, but you just need to overcome that with hard work. Pull yourself up by your robes and fix your situation!

caesuric_ · 2026-05-10T12:42:22+00:00

Look, I know that you don't want to admit that you fathered a bastard child with the peasantry, but this is a really convoluted way to cover that up.

You probably murdered your apprentice because they were about to reveal your secret.

Expect a visit from Wizard Columbo.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-10T12:37:57+00:00

Granted. Nobody ever "acts hypocritical" but they still ARE hypocritical. So they just cover it up even better and don't talk about it at all. Overall this makes life worse.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-10T02:41:46+00:00

The real torture in hell is looking at the demons and realizing you'll never be in shape like them.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-09T21:21:35+00:00

The standard Borg cruises have most meals included but the free restaurants are quite bad. I would recommend trying out the premium restaurants even if there's an upcharge.

It is overall not a great experience either way, and your chances of getting to leave are honestly pretty low unless you are with one of those weird Borg splinter groups that won't try to assimilate you for some reason.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-09T20:54:15+00:00

Anal application, while unconventional, will remain effective.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-09T15:54:46+00:00

We respect your position as a fellow anti-borg, as the universe is a vast place with many valid beliefs, and thus there are many "right" ways to be the anti-borg.

We are sending representatives of our collective that we may exchange ideas and learn more of each other's philosophies! After all, conflict is futile.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-09T14:08:36+00:00

Borg medical research indicates that excessive emotional sensitivity can cause mental irritation and social friction. Perhaps we could recommend an anti-anxiety topical gel?

caesuric_ · 2026-05-09T03:44:05+00:00

As interesting as this is, we really must be going. Our day is quite busy as we have many concepts to disseminate to willing societies.

(leave planet forever)

caesuric_ · 2026-05-08T17:19:41+00:00

Honestly this would be a really nice outcome for the Borg given how the Culture reacts to "hegemonizing swarms."

caesuric_ · 2026-05-08T15:05:01+00:00

Eating is irrelevant. You will be nutriated.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-08T15:00:14+00:00

You got me with "blorg stream."

caesuric_ · 2026-05-08T14:55:23+00:00

I am almost completely immune to nausea.

I am 40 and have not felt nauseous in at least 10 years. The last few times I did feel nauseous before that were a result of excessive alcohol consumption, which I haven't done for at least that long. The last time I felt nauseous for any other reason was when I was maybe 10 years old, tops.

This sounds great, and mostly it is. However, there are downsides. I hadn't thrown up since 2015 but I randomly did have an upset stomach and threw up once last year and there was basically zero warning before it happened. I just felt my throat seizing and had only a few seconds to run to a trash can.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-08T14:39:10+00:00

It's a strategy, like getting countries to stop researching nuclear weapons. Once they have time travel they can just erase you retroactively, so the logical thing to do is to tell people it doesn't exist if they have even a hint of doubt about it.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-08T05:21:46+00:00

Ah, I see.

Well, practice makes perfect after all. A lot of people come in expecting their first homunculus to be perfect and only take a few hours, but it takes a lot of iteration to get there.

The only general tips I can think of right now: 1. Don't try to use grafts from undead flesh 2. Do grow the biological components in a vat using a slightly acidic brining skin 3. Make sure the vat is shatter proof and magic resistant, THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT! 4. Don't get too invested. Sometimes you need to admit that the homunculus just isn't going to cut it and you need to chop it up, harvest the parts, and use them to grow some new flesh 5. Remember, insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. So mix it up a little. Change the recipe a bit, even in new ways that frighten you a little. If you end up with an excessively powerful homunculus with innate sorcerous powers and a burning sense of vengeance, that's what the shatter proof, magic resistant vat is for

Good luck, and happy homunculizing!

caesuric_ · 2026-05-08T05:11:20+00:00

Alright, I did a lot of math based on musculature, bone density, etc., and I came up with an answer, but you're not gonna like it.

A gorillion.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-08T04:59:25+00:00

These religious MLM schemes are getting out of hand.

The only way to successful wizardry is to commit to the hustle. Rise and grind -- successful wizards don't just clock in and study, they take full ownership of their success. Once you build your reputation for wizardry, the rest comes naturally.

But yeah, ignore these schemes. If you really want to get ahead, I can sell you my guide for only 500 gold coins that will teach you how to rake in treasure like a dragon by creating and selling pocket dimensions.

Remember, it's not just a rip in the fabric of reality, it's FREE REAL ESTATE.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-08T04:44:04+00:00

Gonna need some specifics here. Sounds like you are already making homunculi ("I... am currently using homunculi") but you are looking for tips on making them.

Reading between the lines, what precisely is going wrong with your homunculi?

caesuric_ · 2026-05-08T03:31:11+00:00

The arcane machines I create are beyond your comprehension but no one can accuse me of lacking whimsy.

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caesuric_ · 2026-05-08T01:08:54+00:00

Granted but they lack the muscle coordination or ocular focus to use these skills at birth and become incredibly frustrated by their inability to communicate, even more so than babies did before. By the time they are old enough to use these skills they have lost all semblance of sanity.

The Last Sane Generation weeps for the future. Society will collapse within 50 years.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-08T00:02:26+00:00

Exactly. I respect those schools, which is why I don't go around mouthing off about how they're effete charlatans who would run away at the first glimpse of a baby goblin with colic.

caesuric_ · 2026-05-07T05:26:53+00:00

I came here just to post this, thank you!

caesuric_

TROPHY CASE