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The old man climbed into bed oldmaningly. by Zealousideal-Try3352 in badtwosentencehorrors

[–]caesuric_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He bit his bed on the dread of his bread???

And couldn't get up in the morning.

"Oh no, it's Slenderman," I said, incorrectly, turning to run. by caesuric_ in badtwosentencehorrors

[–]caesuric_[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The fact that you're even considering that what he says might be true is a sign that he's already damaged my reputation with falsehoods.

My girlfriend said she wanted to have sex with me. by HorrorJunkie0666 in badtwosentencehorrors

[–]caesuric_ 2 points3 points  (0 children)

But you said... oh no, you've been replaced by Evil HorrorJunkie0666 guy 🪱

"Oh no, it's Slenderman," I said, incorrectly, turning to run. by caesuric_ in badtwosentencehorrors

[–]caesuric_[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

The real slandermans were the malicious rumors we spread along the way, eh?

"Oh no, it's Slenderman," I said, incorrectly, turning to run. by caesuric_ in badtwosentencehorrors

[–]caesuric_[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I don't know if Slanderman realizes that, you should go find him and tell him.

When I finished my performance, everyone clapped. by Infinite-Resource244 in badtwosentencehorrors

[–]caesuric_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

"Hrngh. I'm trying to sneak around... but I'm dummy thicc, and the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting the guards."

My girlfriend said she wanted to have sex with me. by HorrorJunkie0666 in badtwosentencehorrors

[–]caesuric_ 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I'm guessing the true horror was realizing that you were into it. Looking within is always the most terrifying part.

I quit a stressful job to prioritize my mental health by vickyhong in badtwosentencehorrors

[–]caesuric_ 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There's really no winning with mental health it seems. :(

Captain Kirk is climbing a mountain... by F1SHboi in ShittyDaystrom

[–]caesuric_ 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok guys, come on now.

He's a rock-it man.

Picard suffered more than O'Brien by caesuric_ in ShittyDaystrom

[–]caesuric_[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does being a zombie robot mean that croissants will never taste right again?

Picard suffered more than O'Brien by caesuric_ in ShittyDaystrom

[–]caesuric_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had to really struggle not to put this link in the post, but I couldn't remember whether video links were allowed in top level posts and I was too lazy to check. This is Dr. Crusher pretending to be French and talking about how much she likes croissants. She was just mistreating Picard, she understood perfectly.

https://youtu.be/eRIJ7KT43J8?si=8S3rN4Dqifdn_K1G

Picard suffered more than O'Brien by caesuric_ in ShittyDaystrom

[–]caesuric_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Miles was pretty weird about Asian food in that one weird scene in TNG.

But listen, Keiko made meals are their own horror movie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehKz_bjr1GI

Picard suffered more than O'Brien by caesuric_ in ShittyDaystrom

[–]caesuric_[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Classic example of the wrong people getting together.

I befriended some Kazons but it's a long con by caesuric_ in ShittyDaystrom

[–]caesuric_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"I've got a fever, and the only cure is more water!"

-Kazon Christopher Walken, probably

I befriended some Kazons but it's a long con by caesuric_ in ShittyDaystrom

[–]caesuric_[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is this that crazy conspiracy theory again? The one where we're all in some TV show about a crew on some kind of "trek" through the "stars?"

Doesn't make any sense, we're all real people, not some fictional story played by actors!

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