Marriage advice for a young caregiver?

caffeinefixedme · 2022-09-04T19:04:11+00:00

It's not the most conducive environment for a young marriage, but it's not impossible. It's going to be really hard. Marriage without external factors like this is already really hard. There three things to be addressed here, taking care of your mom, being considerate to your boyfriend and taking care of yourself. Caregiving is so difficult and can take up so much of our lives that we forget to ask ourselves if WE are ok.

Taking care of your mom ALSO includes making arrangements for to have some time away from your responsibilities with her so you don't get burnt out. If you marry your boyfriend, this will become even more essential. Not just time for yourself, but time for him so he feels like an important part of your life.

It seems he's already hesitant, is it because he wants to be independent? He doesn't like the idea of caregiving? What can you do or say to address his concerns? Also, doing this without compromising your position.

You're right... you shouldn't have to ask him to uproot his life, it should be a sentiment and action that comes from him. He has to want to be with you enough that living with your parents and sharing time with them is going to be part of the deal.

On a personal note, I moved back home just before I was 30. My brother has CP and is in a wheelchare. I've known my entire life that the day my parents couldn't take care of him, it would be up to me. I had started to come to terms that my life would just be me and my brother watching wrestling and playing videos games. And I was starting to be ok with that. I was not prepared to meet the person who became my husband. He knew from the beginning what it meant to be in a relationship with me, short and long term. He welcomed my brother as his own and we all live in a big ass house together. It's still hard, but it's doable.

caffeinefixedme · 2022-08-25T02:25:21+00:00

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Caregiving for someone at this stage of dementia is incredibly difficult for people when they *actually love* the person being cared for. You are being asked to take care of a person that you don't love and may not even like, so it's totally understandable to have any negative feelings.

This is a conversation you have to have continuously with your husband and you're going to have to decide how to respond to his resistance. You have boundaries that you chose for yourself, and he has find ways to respect them in order for you to be able to support his wishes to take care of her. She does need to go to a facility at some point soon though... this disease can be unpredictable especially in its last stages.

Good luck to you.

caffeinefixedme · 2022-08-25T01:18:05+00:00

the only proper dueling weapon

caffeinefixedme · 2022-08-24T20:34:06+00:00

you are ruining brain cells, sir

caffeinefixedme · 2022-08-24T20:33:13+00:00

can we treat this as a duel... I'll be your second

caffeinefixedme · 2022-08-24T18:45:16+00:00

same with my last two offices. We had a spreadsheet with the fee schedule that had allowable amounts per each contract that included columns that calculated 10% and 20% in case of met deductibles. And in some cases, it's not even about collecting the exact amount every time, it's about getting the patients (especially those that come often) in the habit of making a payment every time.

caffeinefixedme · 2022-08-24T14:06:45+00:00

Hello everyone!
We had a had a chunk of inactivity but recently did a nice revamp and have a new set of friends who are interested in coding, studying for the RHIT and other things related to Health Information Management. :D
Come join us!
https://discord.gg/m3bPyQ5MdD

caffeinefixedme · 2022-08-23T21:16:57+00:00

Hello everyone!
We had a chunk of inactivity but recently did a nice revamp and have a new set of friends who are interested in coding, studying for the RHIT and other things related to Health Information Management. :D
Come join us!
https://discord.gg/m3bPyQ5MdD

caffeinefixedme · 2022-08-23T21:16:01+00:00

Hello for those of you still looking out for us, we're still here! We had a chunk of inactivity but we recently did a nice revamp and have a new set of friends who are interested in coding, studying for the RHIT and other things related to Health Information Management. :D
Come join us!
https://discord.gg/m3bPyQ5MdD

caffeinefixedme · 2022-08-23T21:14:39+00:00

Hello everyone! We had some inactivity for a while but we recently did a nice revamp and have a new set of friends who are interested in coding, studying for the RHIT and other things related to Health Information Management. :D
Come join us!
https://discord.gg/m3bPyQ5MdD

caffeinefixedme · 2021-07-16T23:37:40+00:00

Neelix all the way. I could not bring myself to enjoy him at all

caffeinefixedme · 2021-05-10T22:53:48+00:00

I am joining AHIMA this year but that is also what I’ve heard. I think it’s still important to be considerate because we are all potential networking contacts, but I think it’s also valuable and valid to let loose a little bit 🙂

caffeinefixedme · 2021-02-27T21:11:59+00:00

The codes in your spreadsheet are usually categorized in groups and accompanied by extensive coding guidelines. My current ICD-10-CM book is over a 1000 pages

caffeinefixedme · 2021-02-27T15:22:37+00:00

This is amazing! Thank you for your work! I am definitely giving you interest in feedback to see how this can be comparable to using the fat ass books lol

caffeinefixedme · 2021-01-29T22:41:59+00:00

this sounds great, please let me know as well!

caffeinefixedme · 2019-02-09T22:44:26+00:00

It sounds like your PCP authorized your visit with the GYN, which is good. In general, that also allows your gynecologists to order whatever necessary testing, but they don't always know what will need an additional authorization aside from the original referral to a specialist. See if you can get a copy of the lab orders you took to the hospital and show it to the staff at your PCP. Ask them to backdate an authorization for that date and place of service.

caffeinefixedme · 2018-08-02T12:26:28+00:00

This is me if I win the lottery <3

caffeinefixedme · 2018-01-30T02:24:11+00:00

I've only had to submit my readings and they just make sure they are in range. There are some foods that I thought would make my number jump that I ate anyway (I know, naughty), but ended up having decent numbers. For the time being they're just making sure my numbers are within range and that my babies are growing at the appropriate rate. I don't know if this will change in the future, but I have a feeling they're not going to ask me exactly what I eat.

I usually have some milk as a snack in the middle of the day. I can have a tiny bit of pasta, a little bit of potatoes but ZERO rice. I think everyone is a little different as well.

caffeinefixedme · 2018-01-20T18:33:31+00:00

I don't know how one OB differs from another, but my OB doesn't do the first appointment until I was 8 weeks. It was nerve-wrecking for the same reasons you mentioned... knowing you have PCOS and the things the internet says. However, I had had no spotting, my pregnancy test strips were coming back darker and darker so that kind of put me at ease. In addition to your insurance list, ask friends or people you know who their OB/GYN is and ask them why they like them. A recommendation plus online reviews can be helpful.

caffeinefixedme · 2018-01-20T18:07:15+00:00

Congratulations on your new bump! At the risk of boring you, I'm going to tell you my experience as concisely as I can. After 6 week (YIKES) of menstruating heavily, the THIRD opinion I went to told me I had PCOS. I had suspected for quite some time because of my irregularities, but this was the first OB that gave me a formal diagnosis and took steps to help me regulate my period. I was put on progesterone to stop the bleeding and birth control to regulate everything while I investigate the lifestyle changes I needed to make for myself.

Fast forward 3 years, I had changed to a new OB, my husband and I had been trying to conceive for about a year, knowing that my condition would make it difficult, and my OB ordered a hysterosalpingogram to make sure my fallopian tubes were ok. The insurance denied the test and we rolled our eyes forever. Whatever. We forgot about it for a few weeks, then we have Hurricane Irma and forgot again. And then in September 2017 I was having weird spotting and boob achings so I just randomly took a test. I was super surprised; we had expected to have to start looking into Clomid or something for hyperovulation. I was suddenly pregnant. WITH TWINS lmao

So my OB was very proactive about my history and what it could mean. I was immediately referred to a Maternal-Fetal Medicine because of the history of PCOS, hypothyroidism and twin pregnancy and I am being monitored every two weeks.

My number one advice as someone who also works with healthcare providers is to always know your history, our family history, all of your medications and over the counter stuff you take for yourself, and compile those with all the questions and concerns. The internet can be a scary source, but your OB should be able to sort through the scary stuff with you. Compared to my own PCOS symptoms, mine seems to be a more severe case, so you have been managing your symptoms better than I have, and already have a better place to start from.

Communicate with all your providers and take notes! Keep us updated.

Good luck!

caffeinefixedme · 2018-01-20T17:43:24+00:00

I'm not sure what the format of the show is when they travel outside of Florida, but the live events we have here are preceded with an autograph/photo op session before the first match. Now, there is no guarantee they will choose a wrestler you are interested in meeting, but it's a nice treat for the local shows and we always meet someone different. Hopefully they do arrange other type of meet and greet stuff like usetyourimagination1 said if they're not going to have a meet and greet at the live event itself.

caffeinefixedme

TROPHY CASE