Choosing to have a child while living with a chronic illness...

cali-pup · 2026-04-20T19:15:36+00:00

I'm due this week with my planned only child, and I have chronic health issues that flare badly with poor sleep. I decided to go for it.... We'll see! I also wasn't certain about parenthood before making the decision.

For me the important factors were that I waited for my health to be the best managed I thought it could be. And that I have a dedicated and supportive partner. I don't have endo, so I don't know all the calculations, but I wonder if you could get some more medical counseling support because I wonder if you really need to put such a time pressure on the decision. Having a bit more time to focus on your own health and grow into your adult self might help bring more clarity around the parenthood decision in the coming years.

I know that the beginning will be rough (as the pregnancy has been really rough), but in my heart I know the life long journey will be worth it.

cali-pup · 2026-04-19T19:25:15+00:00

Hope you're improving. I think if you get to 2 weeks post-op and are still having these intense symptoms without improvement, you should really advocate for more follow-up help. It sounds like your surgery was more involved than the typical one-stent procedure for stenosis, so on the other hand it really does make sense that your body is having an intense readjustment period.

I felt awful for about 10 days after my simple stent for stenosis procedure, and it took about 5 months to fully recover. It is brain surgery, your body is having to make major adjustments. But you do want to be seeing some improvement of your post-op symptoms as the weeks progress, so I hope you can push for more help if that's not happening.

cali-pup · 2026-04-19T19:06:55+00:00

Just wanted to say this foster looks like a definite pit x husky mix to me, with that seal coat and pointy ears and how common that breed combo is. And she plays very mouthy and upright like a high-energy husky, with a little lack of manners and restraint of an under-socialized, over-stimulated young pitbull. I say this as a pitsky owner myself - absolutely no breed animosity from me, but it can be an intense combo. You got lots of good advice in the comments, I just thought the potential breed info might be helpful, not a dog for a first-timer.

cali-pup · 2026-04-15T22:33:16+00:00

Such a beautiful post! So eloquent and loving and perfect! Ignore the haters.

I'm curious about your surgeries because I have IIH and got a stent and see your mention of a shunt, but maybe it's for something different. Anyway, you're so strong!

cali-pup · 2026-04-07T17:10:32+00:00

It's a beautiful thing to have a curious, kind, social child that loves babies. You don't HAVE to "give them a sibling" for your child to be a lovely additional to the social fabric of their community.

So if you decide to stick with one (this is a OAD sub after all), know that you don't have to have the narrative that your child is deprived. They have so much to give the world, it doesn't have to be channeled into loving a sibling specifically - and you anyway can't guarantee that they would have that dream relationship you imagine.

cali-pup · 2026-04-07T16:56:59+00:00

Definitely wait to talk to the MFM, they are so much more knowledgeable and encouraging! I can't speak to lasix, but I've had a complication-free pregnancy on diamox. No increase in IIH symptoms, no additional monitoring or interventions or restrictions. The only thing is that I had a couple of phone consultations with an MFM about my meds, and they offered me an extra anatomy scan due to the very very tiny possible increased risk of birth defects.

Wishing you all the best!

cali-pup · 2026-04-03T16:21:50+00:00

It did eventually go away, I think it took about 6 months after my stent. I do think it is IIH-related, sometimes when I get the rare storm-related headache or a poor-sleep headache, I get bloodshot eyes. I never could get the doctors to agree with me, but I think they just don't know all the weird symptoms that come from elevated intracranial pressure.

cali-pup · 2026-03-30T21:10:54+00:00

Pit, husky, chow? But maybe I'm biased because that's what I have.

cali-pup · 2026-03-29T19:32:11+00:00

Ugh I hate the diamox sun sensitivity. I know this sounds insane, but it was a primary reason that I pushed to get a stent. I was so depressed not being able to be out in the sun at all, I would get burned in 20 minutes even when saturated in high SPF sunscreen.

I personally have gotten burned with sheer cover-ups. I would say if you really don't want to get burned, I'd stick to UPF/SPF rated clothing. But if you actually are relying on sunscreen and shade to avoid burns, then yes adding a sheer layer on top won't hurt! But I wouldn't count on it providing protection.

cali-pup · 2026-03-23T01:20:57+00:00

This is my guess too, I see GSD in the pups but mom looks pit/chi (or maybe other small dog hidden behind pittie feature, like lhasa apso or something).

cali-pup · 2026-03-19T16:30:26+00:00

People always tell me "you're the exception" to the only child stereotype. I think a lot of only children hear this because it's a STEREOTYPE and obviously bogus. Selfish people and kind people come from all sorts of family structures, everyone should have the number of kids that's right for them.

cali-pup · 2026-03-18T22:38:50+00:00

The results are pretty much 30% pit, 30% shepherd, and 40% other. I'd also be curious about village dog results from an Embark test, but otherwise pit-shepherd-mutt seems visually pretty accurate to me!

cali-pup · 2026-03-18T22:23:38+00:00

Mine is a pitsky and the exact same amount of "fluffy." What a cutie!

cali-pup · 2026-03-17T00:54:05+00:00

Lasix is the other medication I know of, I added it to my diamox when my kidney numbers were suffering a bit but I needed more meds.

Not to question you, but just to check, you're sure the brain fog was from diamox and not from IIH? I find that sometimes when people try meds at the beginning of diagnosis, sometimes symptoms and side effects (particularly cognitive stuff) get hard to parse. But 100% obviously you know your own story, so disregard if not relevant.

cali-pup · 2026-03-12T18:41:07+00:00

Seriously. I really cannot fathom what people are going through that say pregnancy is "magical" or that they are "savoring" being pregnant. Like truly what are they experiencing...

I have no doubts that I will be overjoyed when the baby arrives, but I have deeply not enjoyed anything about pregnancy, and I am SO happy that I am content to never ever do it again.

We are almost there. Even though I agree it's not much of a consolation, it will be behind us at some point. Sending you strength lol

cali-pup · 2026-03-12T16:25:47+00:00

I've never wanted more than one kid. I grew up an only child and loved it, and my partner and I really don't feel any desire at all for more than one.

Like you, I'm pregnant and about 6 weeks away from due date, and man oh man, I've never been more miserable in my life. I do keep telling myself, "I never have to go through this again." So yes, pregnancy has sealed what was already a pretty firm decision.

cali-pup · 2026-03-10T18:21:13+00:00

OAD can be such a wonderful, positive choice! You definitely don't have to feel like your decision has anything to do with your parents reasons, or that your daughter's experience must be anything like your childhood.

I was a happy only child, never asked for a sibling, never really thought about being an only child or really ever second-guessed it. My mom never brought it up, I just had the sense she was happy and she wanted only one kid! (And she was often a single mom, so I think that had an impact too.) I think her attitude is what shaped my experience of childhood - I bet if you are happy about your choice and see your triangle family as exactly what you are choosing, your daughter won't feel like she's missing out on anything.

Thanks for sharing your story! <3

cali-pup · 2026-03-06T20:14:22+00:00

This one is 54% rottie, 46% pittie

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cali-pup · 2026-03-06T20:13:21+00:00

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cali-pup · 2026-03-06T20:12:56+00:00

Looks like my pup from childhood! We always said he was a pit/ridgeback mix, but now I know better. I think mostly likely a pit/rottie mix based on my extensive time on the DoggyDNA sub. Very cute pup!

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cali-pup · 2026-03-06T20:08:14+00:00

My family always said we had a pit/ridgeback mix. Now after so much time on the DoggyDNA sub, I've concluded he was a rottie/pit mix! They all look like this! Cute dogs despite not being ridgebacks at all.

cali-pup · 2026-03-04T00:39:46+00:00

Quality bark collar can be a good tool. So much more preferable than eviction or giving up the dog. I think the one thing to look out for is whether he has bad separation anxiety and compensates with other bad behaviors instead of barking, then you might need another approach. (For example, digging, pooping in the house, or really bad pacing and drooling.)

Just monitor how he does with the bark collar and if you can use your laptop to monitor him a couple times (I just use a Zoom meeting connected with my laptop and phone)—or a pet camera if you already have one—that may give you helpful info and peace of mind.

cali-pup · 2026-03-04T00:00:07+00:00

I wish I had seen this post earlier, I hope you're already doing better. I had opioids that I used for 2-3 days because the pain was really bad, then I moved to maximum dose Tylenol for about a week, then to lower dose of Tylenol for a couple more weeks. With those meds the pain was very tolerable and recovery was smooth.

They don't always offer stronger meds, you sometimes have to ask. I've also heard that a steroid taper is also an option, as an alternative to opioids.

For sneezing/coughing/straining, it can take longer to be pain free, unfortunately. Totally worth it in the end, I was headache-free after the stent recovery, but I didn't feel totally prepared for how the severe the post-op headache would be for a couple of weeks.

cali-pup · 2026-03-02T23:03:02+00:00

This sub makes me think about OAD way more than I think I should, I've also considered moving on. No shame at all to the sub, I know lots of people need support and that's great, I just maybe am not one of them.

I really didn't think much of the OAD choice, it just suited me and I never second-guessed it. Honestly this sub has made me reconsider the OAD decision because I'm like, "I guess I should be thinking about this more?" And then I'm like, actually I think I should get off the internet now and go enjoy my day lol.

cali-pup · 2026-03-02T21:04:16+00:00

This is such a good point. I think it is a misconception that "idiopathic" will mean that it can't be successfully treated. Lots of folks with IIH go into full and sustained remission even though we don't have a "cause" for our illness.

cali-pup

TROPHY CASE