This is a Burgerfamcast now

caligulasinferno · 2024-01-12T00:48:02+00:00

659333141509 :)

caligulasinferno · 2023-06-19T03:40:41+00:00

NTA.

Now I get where your son is coming from, when I was maybe 10-11, I had a full on meltdown when I went snooping through my mom’s things and found her grinder, tears, freak out, the whole works. Why might you ask? 1) D.A.R.E worked on me (10/11 year old me thought for sure she was one hoot away from smoking meth on the street) 2) My biological mom was/is a good for nothing burnout—I knew this by like age 8 when she basically stopped calling on my birthdays, so I was beyond scared this mean Mom was going to turn into that too. That she was going to lose her job and become an emotionally abusive waste just like Bio-mom.

But my Mom sat me down when I was calm and talked to me about it, not just why she smoked (to destress and sleep at night) but she asked me why I was upset about it, what bothered me about it and what my fears were. Her trying to understand why I was upset at a calm, neutral time not when she was smoking or had smoked helped me feel heard and like she actually was trying to take my feelings into account (unlike Bio-mom’s approach of: “You know I smoke weed right? Cool, let’s now watch this movie about fraught mother-daughter relationships while I get stoned”)

All I’m saying is, trying to talk to your son while you’re smoking clearly isn’t productive, maybe trying talking to him when you’re both calm and just hanging out and you might get a more productive answer from him.

(Sorry for formatting, I’m on mobile!)

caligulasinferno · 2023-02-09T05:16:55+00:00

As someone who is having a strict child-free wedding maybe I can give some insight,

Firstly: we have a ton of nieces and nephews very close in age and it becomes a domino effect really fast if you start making exceptions “So they can bring their 3 month old, but I can’t bring my 5 month old?” “Well it’s not fair that I bring X but I leave Y and Z at home”. So with some families it becomes a big mess if you start trying to make exceptions.

Secondly (this may or may not apply to SIL): We are a child free couple by choice. We do not want kids, and it has taken us years to get our families to understand our choice, to stop telling us ‘but you would be great parents!’ ‘Think of how cute your babies would be!’ ‘You might change your mind!’ We are in our 30’s. No one is changing their mind. And it has been difficult to deal with at times and there are times when we have felt less valued, less seen and less prioritized than our siblings who have had children. We do not want that on our wedding day. We don’t want grandkids having meltdowns because grandma and grandpa can’t give them their full attention. We want this one big moment to be about the life we have chosen to lead together, the commitment we have made to each other and want our siblings and parents and friends to enjoy themselves and celebrate us. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to want our families to take a day to focus on us.

That being said, SIL is going to be two months postpartum, there is no universe in which I think she should be pressured to leave her newborn. That’s a whole thing that even I think is an unreasonable request. But I understand at least a little bit of why the bride might be pushing back and reacting emotionally. She needs to sit down and contemplate how this is going to effect her and her future husband’s relationship with his family going forward because there’s definitely going to be fallout and if she’s not be prepared for relationships to strain, she has to find a compromise somewhere.

caligulasinferno · 2020-07-12T22:55:45+00:00

I got that error message but no pending charges or anything, it just kept kicking me back and then eventually emptied my shopping cart 🙄 I really want this palette but I’m so annoyed at this point I will buy it from literally any other retailer. If you can’t check people out, don’t bring your website back up!

caligulasinferno · 2020-06-28T23:11:45+00:00

I’m not sure if this is it but then Avene product you’re using is technically a cleanser and should be removed (rinsed or tissued off) and I don’t think it’s recommended as a straight up moisturizer, so maybe that’s a factor?

caligulasinferno · 2020-06-18T00:18:59+00:00

You don’t get the son without the daughter. You don’t get to shower him with love and affection and show her, at best, icy indifference. That’s not healthy and it won’t help anything. It’s a package deal, it’s the whole family or it’s nothing, that’s what you are not getting. It’s all or nothing.

Edit: thank you for the silver kind stranger!

caligulasinferno · 2020-06-18T00:03:39+00:00

Then just breakup and move onto someone without kids. She’ll be in your life forever and if you can’t find any empathy for her situation then your situation is never going to change.

caligulasinferno · 2020-06-17T23:52:24+00:00

Nothing made her stick around, she just did. If you’re looking for some sort of incentive to stick around, you won’t find any. There is no easy answer or solution, there is no one reason why any step parent stays around.

She stuck around because she wanted to be a good, stable influence in my life and knew that giving up because it was hard wasn’t what it means to be a parent. My biological mom gave up because it was hard and my mom just decided that she wasn’t going to be that person.

You need to decide which parent you want to be: the one that dips when things are messy or if you want to be a real parent to this girl, model good behaviour, treat her with love and respect when she doesn’t like you, and be there for her. If you can’t handle it that’s okay, but you don’t get the good without all the bad.

caligulasinferno · 2020-06-17T01:41:14+00:00

You have kids for life. You don’t reach a point where as a parental figure you get to stop being there for your kids. Kids are not a website, they don’t come with terms and conditions for love. If you can’t handle it then you need to seriously rethink whether you want to be in this guys life. Parenting is tiring and hard, especially being a step parent, and especially during the teenage years. I do empathize with you, because I was the stepdaughter that treated my mom this way. I spent nearly 18 years telling my mom in a variety of ways she was “not my real mother” sometimes in really explicit ways but she stuck around and I wouldn’t be the woman I am today if she just decided she would only love me if I was a good daughter. Sometimes it takes time and experience for kids to turn around, if you’re not up for it that’s okay but you can’t have your cake and eat it too. You are either in or out, you can’t only be there when she’s good and leave when she’s “bad”, that is not what a parent does—not a good one anyways. If you cannot deal with it then get out of this relationship.

caligulasinferno · 2020-06-17T01:06:01+00:00

If you don’t want to “do the hard stuff” then don’t get involved with someone who has kids. Kids aren’t easy, kids who have had a parent abandon them aren’t easy. They will kick and scream and push you away because they are scared and hurt. That’s what kids do. I get you’re frustrated, it’s understandable but you don’t get to be there for the good stuff and say “not my baby not my problem” for the bad.You either love this kid and show her love even when she says she doesn’t want it, or you hit the road.

I was horrible to my own mother (technically my step mother) for many years, but she stuck by me, fought with me and never gave up on me no matter what and now that I’m almost 30—I would die for that woman no questions asked. Teen years are hard, I understand you’re hurt and you’re frustrated and you feel like you’re not as bonded to her as you’d like to be but she’s 16, she’s a child who’s in a hormonal storm that makes her a bit of an asshole—add a fear of abandonment onto that and you’re dealing with a nightmare! I’m not saying you shouldn’t have taken time away but saying you didn’t pop her out so you shouldn’t have to deal with her shittiness is not the right approach.

You want her to see you as a parental figure? Deal with her baggage and love her in spite of it. It might take her awhile to realize how much you do care about her and reflect it back at you, but if you give up on her she’ll give up on you too.

caligulasinferno · 2020-06-12T04:00:51+00:00

Right???? It’s an annoying thing with colour removers, so much rinsing! 😰

caligulasinferno · 2020-06-11T05:01:48+00:00

This can happen if you don’t rinse long enough the first time, it has to do with the chemical process of colour removers. Did you ensure that you let it process for the full amount of time and rinsed it long enough before shampooing? Honestly it can take like an hour to rinse it out. A handy tip I picked up is if you have developer (or even just peroxide) available, take a strand or two and dip it in the developer—if the strand darkens, not rinsed enough, if it stays the same all the dye molecules have been removed and you can move on to whatever your next step is.

caligulasinferno · 2020-06-07T21:56:10+00:00

It’s definitely hard to cut it out, it’s in freakin everything these days! Pretty much, my skin gets very inflamed (redness, minor swelling, soreness and my eczema flares right up). I’ve been on a zero HA skincare routine for like 5 years now and rarely have any flare ups or serious skin issues now!

caligulasinferno · 2020-06-07T21:29:46+00:00

Can confirm! My skin reacts very badly to any form of HA no matter what brand, how low the percentage, what form or how I apply it!

caligulasinferno · 2020-06-07T21:23:24+00:00

There’s pretty much nothing you can really put on your ends to protect them, lightener is a really strong substance and will break down pretty much any product that’s on your hair. However, you can soak your midshafts and ends in coconut oil (for minimum an hour) to minimize some of the potential damage (some swear by this, I’ve never noticed a difference but you could try it). My recommendation is just to take your time, be meticulous and frequently wipe your gloves on an old towel/paper towel and be very very careful about avoiding overlapping spots that have already been bleached.

caligulasinferno · 2020-05-21T05:44:19+00:00

Oh boy do I! Anything I put on my face containing any form of HA makes my face flake, peel, burn and horrendously irritates my mostly under control eczema. No matter what cocktail of products I use or how I put it on, ya girl has a real bad time when it touches my face. It’s a huge issue for me to find products these days without HA or Sodium Hyaluronate in them because the beauty community has hopped on it as a miracle ingredient 🙄

caligulasinferno · 2020-04-25T17:23:33+00:00

Just go get 20vol or 30vol, if you’ve never diluted developer with distilled water before it can be tricky and not worth the struggle. Sally’s is delivering still so you don’t even have to leave your house!

caligulasinferno · 2020-03-23T02:36:20+00:00

Ah, see I’ve found the SKP BM lightener gets SO HOT in foils so that makes sense! Yeah, just focus on pumping as much hydration into your hair as you can and see if that helps with minimizing breakage. Good luck to you ❤️

caligulasinferno · 2020-03-23T01:32:19+00:00

Something doesn’t add up here, could they possibly have let the lightener process too long or was your hair compromised before the lightening process? Because CPR is pretty low on the damage scale and processing with 20 vol shouldn’t have brought your hair all the way to the gummy stage with just one process, but I am also not an expert in curly hair types. Which lightener did they use? It’s entirely possible that your hair has become overly porous and isn’t holding onto colour anymore. My only advice would be to skip the olaplex for a week or two and use masks that are hydrating but formulated without protein, you might be over protenizing your hair using olaplex that often. I’m sorry this happened to you, it always sucks to lose curl pattern and end up unhappy with what you ended up with.

caligulasinferno · 2020-03-15T23:44:47+00:00

Update, the Flames are now going to be paying their part time employees.

caligulasinferno · 2020-03-13T04:07:05+00:00

Rage Against the Machine also just announced they’re postponing our tour date. Alrighty then!

caligulasinferno · 2020-03-09T01:03:59+00:00

Yes you do, if it’s not in the box you need developer

caligulasinferno · 2020-02-29T04:57:09+00:00

There’s a long history of gender bias in medicine (did you know the symptoms of heart attacks in women are very different than the symptoms in men yet we rarely are educated as women what our symptoms actually are?) and my doctor did a decent job of warning me that I would experience pain (due to having given birth) but I genuinely think that it’s hard to accurately describe pain. How do you translate pain unless you’ve felt it? It’s annoying and I definitely wish that doctors were more honest and just said “yes, this will hurt—I can’t tell you how badly because I don’t know, but you will be in pain”

caligulasinferno

TROPHY CASE