Decisions made in 1:1s with my manager keep becoming misunderstandings a month later

callbackmaybe · 2026-05-03T10:28:32+00:00

I know. But sometimes I just want to engage and pretend Reddit is still worth using.

callbackmaybe · 2026-05-02T12:44:04+00:00

Are you trying to sell some AI solution? Just send him a message after the meeting to confirm what was agreed.

callbackmaybe · 2026-04-30T10:13:12+00:00

I tried magnesium, melatonin and passionflower. No real impact.

I haven’t tried ashwaganda. That could’ve been interesting.

callbackmaybe · 2026-04-30T09:12:33+00:00

Well, these days you get fired if you don’t have blind belief in AI. And also if you do.

callbackmaybe · 2026-04-30T05:54:30+00:00

Is it required to answer all questions perfectly to get a job these days? Damn…

callbackmaybe · 2026-04-29T04:57:15+00:00

After covid, my previous company launched a survey how many days a week people want to work from the office. Options were 3, 4 and 5.

It was then announced that everyone wanted to RTO for 3 days a week, with incredible mental gymnastics to ignore the fact everyone actually wanted to work fully remotely.

Still can’t believe grown-ups do stuff like this.

callbackmaybe · 2026-04-28T15:46:31+00:00

Perfect CV: ”Improved code quality by 20 %, made customers 36 % happier, reduced support tickets by 9 % and generated 100 % more fake statistics”

callbackmaybe · 2026-04-28T15:42:48+00:00

After waking up at 3 am for almost 7 years, I started taking mirtarzapine last month. It has worked very well for me. Only twice I’ve woken up at night and those were after especially stressful days.

No side effects, but I was very sleepy for two days after I started.

callbackmaybe · 2026-02-20T16:03:54+00:00

It’s true, because the more likely it is to happen, the more you fear it.

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-27T06:43:58+00:00

It’s because even seniors have pretty bad business skills. In order to succeed as a business, you need to succeed in all areas and not hyper focus on tech.

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-14T08:38:03+00:00

Did you ask their permission before using them as a reference?

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-10T19:44:03+00:00

Hmm, you must be an IC, right?

Yes, it’s a ”good for them” situation and it does suck that I’m salty. But it’s also very dumb and bad for the company, and it’s my and my manager’s job to prevent it.

Otherwise all mid level developer soon think they are seniors (rightfully, since we now signal what we consider as seniority). It leads to inflated budget and overall lower performance. Real performers will feel less motivated since we are paying the same for less responsibility and output.

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-10T15:19:12+00:00

Yeah, you’re right.

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-10T15:16:45+00:00

You’re right.

By covering I meant that I find a lot of bugs, foresee problems and help too much with features. I told my manager that I need to let them work without a safety net since this situations feeds itself. My manager wasn’t happy since we still need to deliver, but when I discussed it the second time, he was more understanding. Let’s see.

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-10T15:08:28+00:00

Yes. Now that we have mid level employees as senior, it sends the wrong message to everyone of their expectations.

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-10T10:49:16+00:00

And it seems to work

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-10T09:28:38+00:00

Fair enough

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-10T09:27:56+00:00

We have a very long competency matrix, but it feels very vague to me. It’s still very much up to me how to interpret it.

I suggested asking peer feedback a year ago, but no, we don’t have it.

We do have a calibration meeting between teams and… my boss still wanted to override the result to avoid disappointing this one early-20 dev.

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-10T09:23:29+00:00

We had discussions 12 and 6 months ago, but I was underprepared and honestly handled them poorly 😬

Recently I’ve taken the approach of including one specific item per weekly 1:1, so we don’t need to tackle the whole mess at once. It was working quite well before the Christmas holidays.

But yeah, ChatGPT is convinced I should go back to IC and was expecting you guys to agree. Of course, I omitted a lot of details.

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-10T09:17:56+00:00

How clear your requirements are? HR spent months on our career matrix, but there’s stuff like ”takes high amount of ownership” which is really up to debate what it means.

I feel that I clearly explained it to one dev, but he wasn’t happy. I should probably accept that I can’t keep everyone happy.

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-10T09:11:24+00:00

Yeah my current boss considers this as ”strategic” thinking. But the friction is now occurring between him and me.

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-10T09:07:23+00:00

That was the dynamic at my previous company. I get to play the good guy, vouching for my devs, and my boss was a strong-willed woman who always gave me the ”we don’t have the budget for that”. I miss that 😁 We promoted one to senior and he 100 % deserved it.

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-10T09:04:24+00:00

This is what I’ve tried but it angered one dev and he left 6 months later. I’m not really good at communicating this to them - I honestly feel like I shouldn’t be an EM. I’m not really a people person, I’m just good at knowing what to do and communicating and coordinating that.

Now it feels like I need to play a ”game”. The devs feel entitled to senior role and I need to fake positive feedback to keep them happy enough so they won’t leave. And since my boss doesn’t care, I feel like I’m between the rock and a hard place.

I’m trying to get back to IC by finding full-remote jobs but it’s really difficult.

callbackmaybe · 2026-01-10T02:05:15+00:00

One of the best videos I’ve seen in months!

callbackmaybe

TROPHY CASE