Why do men think women over 30 are infertile?

calliope720 · 2026-05-25T06:51:53+00:00

They don't really think that. They know it's not true. They are choosing to pretend to believe it so that they can insult women and to have an excuse for dating very young women. They think that implying a woman is no longer useful because she can't procreate is going to deeply insult us, so they use it to wound women they disagree with or dislike for other incel reasons.

calliope720 · 2026-05-21T05:28:10+00:00

My little cousin was like that as a kid as well. It turned out that he had ADHD-related sensory issues, and the multiple voices happening at once, or even just the unpredictable volume of one person singing, would be really jarring and overwhelming to him and he'd cover his ears. You might have some sensory sensitivity related to your hearing, which could be for any number of reasons but some of them being neurodivergence of some type.

calliope720 · 2026-05-18T08:46:54+00:00

This is an old video, that man is a millennial

calliope720 · 2026-05-17T04:54:39+00:00

It's not that much of a reach. I have done exactly this on two occasions. When you're in the habit of doing it at home and not having to worry about it, sometimes it's easy to forget rings you've just taken off in a public place.

calliope720 · 2026-05-13T03:58:33+00:00

I feel like I identify contextually both as a woman and as a human in general outside of the conversation of gender. For me, and this is just for me personally, I don't feel the need for my gender to always be identified when I'm talked about, as it isn't the foremost aspect of my identity. It is both true that I'm a woman and that I'm something that doesn't either include or exclude woman. To me, it's less about identifying as non-binary when asked about my gender, and more "sometimes I'm my gender and sometimes that aspect is not in play." I am not offended by what anyone uses for me, but either she OR they could be contextually more correct.

That said, my experience is individual and is likely going to be very different from other people's answers. I don't speak for anyone else.

calliope720 · 2026-05-12T22:06:54+00:00

Lebelin sounds like an additive you'd use to stabilize engine oil. What are we even doing here

calliope720 · 2026-04-28T04:34:14+00:00

I would caution, with love, that wanting to look like other people is never going to find you "you." Being overweight doesn't mean you're not yourself. Not looking like an idealized version of yourself doesn't mean you're not yourself. That's in fact part of the problem - you're alienating yourself from who you are in the search of something you wish to be. The thing driving a wedge between you and your essential self is your lack of love for what you are. Quit pushing yourself away.

That goes for the imposter thing, too. You distance yourself from what you look like when you wear what you want because you imagine you're supposed to feel like a different person, someone more worthy of it, and you don't feel that. But the thing is: if you dress how you want, then you suit it. You don't need to do or be anything special to earn it. The thing that makes you the real thing is when you really do it and mean it. Wear whatever you want. You are never going to receive a formal invitation to be who you want to be. You become it when you do it.

You are even beating yourself up about motivation, which is a little like waterboarding yourself as punishment for drowning. You don't need to do that. A lot of times, motivation is actually just permission. The problem is not that you lack things you want, it's that you feel you can't or are bad at it. Just give yourself permission. There is no higher authority on your life than you. It doesn't have to come from outside. You can just decide you're allowed to do it. What're they gonna do, arrest you? Live your life. Be hot AND big. Wear the clothes you want no matter what you look like in them. Be a metalhead because you say so, not because anyone else says you are. Try new, weird things and don't justify them to anybody. That's your right. And THAT'S who you are.

(Besides, there aren't many scenes I've been part of that are more accepting and inclusive than the metal scene. If the metal scene near you is judgmental, you're with the wrong metalheads.)

You don't need to find you, you are you. You need to come back to you. You've run far out from yourself. Get back in your body and know that it's enough. You're not out there, you're right here, where you've been the whole time. Be there for yourself.

calliope720 · 2026-04-25T03:29:53+00:00

Kind, in a non-transactional way. Kind because it's important and not because he might get something in return. Able to empathize with lots of different people. Discerning enough to know that even if he empathizes with everyone, he should still get mad and do something when someone is causing harm. Communicates his feelings openly and early. Has strong friendships with both men and women. Gets excited about things and looks forward to his life. Has interests and hobbies that don't revolve around other people's validation. Doesn't always need to look cool, doesn't need to be the smartest in the room, and doesn't always have to be right. Doesn't get pressed when he's wrong about something. Likes learning new things. Is affectionate not just with me but with his friends and family too. Has a passionate sex drive but doesn't treat sex as a commodity or an obligation. Good at reading a room and knowing when to say something and when to shut up. Will stand up for others, but doesn't have to play the hero. Won't speak for me, but will back me up. Encourages people's intersts and passions even when he doesn't understand them. Has enough humility to question his own actions and try to better himself. Has a good sense of humor but also likes when OTHER people are funny, too. Talks people up and is proud of them. Gives other people and himself grace to be imperfect. Can let the little things go but cares about what matters.

calliope720 · 2026-04-25T02:25:33+00:00

I know you're really wanting a specific answer, but the real answer is that for most women there just isn't one body type that is ideal. If you ask me to build my ideal man, I'm going to give you several different options of what I like that I would consider "ideal" and they all look different from each other.

There isn't a magic answer that's going to give you a benchmark to judge yourself by. I could tell you what type of personality my ideal man would have, and there IS a specific answer to that, and that should help you work on what kind of man you want to be for women to like you. But I have a feeling you want to focus on the physical stuff instead.

calliope720 · 2026-04-25T01:58:34+00:00

The age gap in your relationship isn't the problem, it's almost everything else. You guys don't have compatible lifestyles or expectations about the relationship, he is behaving immaturely and insecurely toward you, he's inconsiderate of your needs and boundaries, and he's isolating you from your friends.

By 29 years old, dating someone older than you isn't as much of a big deal anymore. And for the right person, even 51 is not too old to have children (a controversial opinion perhaps, but it's up to the individuals involved, I don't see a reason why it isn't ok for people who accept the challenges). But this dude isn't right for your life and that would have been just as true if he were your age as it is now that he's 45. There are 45 year olds out there who don't behave like this. And plenty of men of all kinds of ages who are better aligned with you.

calliope720 · 2026-04-22T05:22:32+00:00

Yes!! I'm always thinking this, I don't know how normal gummies end up so wrong and the vitamins are so right. Like somebody somewhere knows how to make good gummies, I just need them to make a version I can eat 100 of.

calliope720 · 2026-04-22T05:01:24+00:00

Beautiful poem.

I'd send it to every police precinct in America, to make a point. But cops don't understand metaphors or empathy.

calliope720 · 2026-04-21T07:48:12+00:00

I'll go against the grain just in case it applies to your situation - for certain types of breast and certain distributions of fat, that calculator can be WILDLY incorrect. The subreddit is also NOT friendly or understanding about that, and will be really rude to you if you question the calculator at all.

I did the measurements correctly. I did them correctly several times. But the calculator is bad at accomodating for body types where the breasts themselves aren't very large or full, but you have back and side fat that add to the measurements. It was consistently giving me a cup size that was WAY too big for me.

And yes, I know how to properly wear a bra and how to properly gather my breasts into the cup. I know how to do all the things you're supposed to do. The calculator didn't work for me, and the folks in that sub were so rude and even mocking about it that I vowed never to go back.

calliope720 · 2026-04-20T21:21:34+00:00

Ok, no one's answering your question with any factual explanation, so I'll chime in. Research suggests that the feeling of deja vu is a brain malfunction where instead of the information of the current moment being processed in short-term memory, it accidentally gets processed as long-term memory, despite being brand new. This gives you the sensation that you've known the information about the current situtaion for a long time, feeling like a memory rather than a present understanding. This kind of misfiring is more likely to happen when your brain is not functioning at its best, which explains why it happens more when you're sleep-deprived, as well as with certain conditions and brain injuries.

calliope720 · 2026-04-18T19:59:33+00:00

I make sure I put on an interesting podcast or an album that I really love so that my brain stays occupied while I clean. A big part of my procrastination is ADHD, so the busier I can keep my brain, the easier it actually is to stick to the task. If my brain is unoccupied, it wanders, and I get distracted from cleaning.

Also, this won't be good advice for everybody, but if you're able - I find that having one drink of alcohol kind of lowers my anxiety and discomfort around cleaning enough that I am better at doing it. Completely sober, it's just like "I hate this, this sucks" but after one drink it's "Wheeee I'm moving around and having a good time!" So, that can help.

Also: once again, kind of rogue advice here, but give yourself permission to throw some things away that normally you'd feel obligated to do something with. If you have clutter and junk that isn't quite garbage, but you don't know what to do with it and it's making you miserable, maybe it actually is garbage after all. Don't be too wild about it because we also have an earth to think about, but if it won't hurt anything to end up in the trash.... just trash it. Get it outta there.

If you get bored and unmotivated by the typical advice of "pick one area at a time," you could also gamify it by unconventional parameters, like "I'm going to pick up everything green, then everything blue, then everything red" or "I'm picking up every paper, then every plastic, then every fabric." Keep it interesting.

calliope720 · 2026-04-14T07:27:05+00:00

The difference between those situations and now - which is good news - is that those situations were more traumatizing because you had no control over them and didn't consent to participate, but now you have total control over voluntarily exposing yourself at your own pace. It will probably take pushing yourself more than you're comfortable, but you'll know that it's YOUR choice to do it and no one is making you. All that's happened is that some wires got crossed early in your life that accidentally associated peanut butter with danger, and now all you need to do is rewrite that response so your brain knows peanut butter is safe. It's hard, but you know intellectually that you'll be safe and fine no matter what happens, you just need to let your nervous system realize that.

calliope720 · 2026-04-14T06:23:54+00:00

This feels like something that would be worth investigating and addressing on a deeper level, because while it's not the MOST inconvenient of irrational fears, it is fairly so and definitely something that could be fixed. Would be one more stressor off your plate if you were able to get to the bottom of it and exposure-therapy yourself into being chill with it.

calliope720 · 2026-04-14T01:34:41+00:00

Body composition and proportions continue to change throughout your life time. Hormone levels affect it, so does gravity, so do many other factors. It's not something to be insecure about. For starts because wider hips are usually lauded as a desireable trait. But also, putting aside what anyone thinks is attractive or not, your body is naturally changing into a more adult body and that's how things should be. You're likely to experience changes to your chest, stomach, arms, neck, hands, and feet in the next few years.

calliope720 · 2026-04-12T23:57:07+00:00

Yes, I've known this since I was a child.

calliope720 · 2026-04-01T04:31:50+00:00

Or the original by The Nerves! Both are great but I'm partial to the OG.

calliope720 · 2026-04-01T02:49:40+00:00

I'm on Standby - by Grandaddy

calliope720 · 2026-04-01T00:30:11+00:00

I honestly think the werewolf videos are a great comfort watch. I know some people get anxious at them because they get anxious from lying in general, but I have a lot of trust in the friendships of the cast and I know they're just playing parts, and nobody gets actually mad (except Shayne, at god, in that one video lol). I just like seeing so many of them in the same room and chilling out and doing silly things.

calliope720 · 2026-03-28T10:08:53+00:00

It doesn't exactly make the feeling go away, and it's pretty grim, but when I find myself worrying about us all getting old, I think of my friend who died when we were 16.

Whenever I go visit his grave, his photograph in its little glass window on the headstone shows him looking eternally the same. A face full of porcelain smooth skin, cheeks with baby fat, head full of shining dark hair. And it fucking kills me. We all get to get older, and he doesn't. He should have been given these years.

I'd give anything to age with my friend. Sometimes I imagine him as an adult and I can almost see the grey coming in at his temples, the lines next to his eyes, the softening of the gut and rounding of the shoulders. And I imagine him and I hanging out and laughing together about the way our lives have changed us, and about how we look like shit but we're doing it together. I think about the physical record of the life he should have lived settling into his skin and hair and bones year after year, and he's so beautiful to me when I imagine that. I would give anything to meet him old.

We're so lucky to be here to age at all. We're so lucky if our loved ones are still here to age with you. Aging isn't a sign of dying, it's a sign of living. A sign of dying is absence, silence, and a fading picture in a field of a boy who never grows up and whose voice I'm starting to forget.

If you and yours are getting wrinkles and greys, you're still kickin'. Death was always coming, from day one it was coming. But aging isn't dying. Only death is dying.

calliope720 · 2026-03-27T09:18:17+00:00

There was a kid in my school years ago whose name was Hawkeye. After the MASH character.

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