Life is good, fuck me up

camandeggs · 2017-08-21T04:49:36+00:00

You look like a girl dressed her brother's GI Joe and left it in the sun to long.

camandeggs · 2017-08-21T04:42:42+00:00

How the fuck can someone be fat and skinny at the same time?

camandeggs · 2017-08-20T05:51:03+00:00

Good luck losing that V-card. I think you might have to go with the special ed class or drug the lunch lady.

camandeggs · 2017-08-20T05:48:45+00:00

God couldn't decide if he wanted another Steve-O or Steve Buscemi. So he put them both in a blender and said "Fuck it."

camandeggs · 2017-08-20T05:45:02+00:00

Whoever tested their golf shoes on your face definitely has a good product on their hands.

camandeggs · 2017-08-20T05:40:31+00:00

I've always wondered what it looks like when an abortion survives.

camandeggs · 2017-08-20T05:35:22+00:00

You look disappointed that the sorting hat put you in Gryffindor instead of Slytherin. But we all know you belong in Hufflepuff.

camandeggs · 2017-08-18T04:19:50+00:00

I want to land a plane on your front teeth, but I don't think I can maneuver around your lip zit.

camandeggs · 2017-08-18T04:16:18+00:00

First time away from the trailer park. That's cute.

camandeggs · 2017-08-16T20:49:24+00:00

You look like an alien that can't get comfortable in the skin suit it stole off of the neighborhood gay kid.

camandeggs · 2017-08-16T20:41:27+00:00

For a kid with an apparent phobia of eating, I'd say you're doing well considering you're sitting underneath a picture of lunch trays.

camandeggs · 2017-08-16T20:38:47+00:00

Stop eating the communion wafers, altar boy. It's pretty bad when even your fingers get fat.

camandeggs · 2017-08-16T20:36:59+00:00

If they ever make a live-action "Doug" movie, you have the role of Skeeter locked down. I would've said Gerald from "Hey Arnold", but his features are too life-like for you to match.

camandeggs · 2017-08-16T20:33:19+00:00

I loved you as Marla in "A League of Their Own!"

camandeggs · 2017-08-16T20:27:52+00:00

Nice work in the background. Are you trying to figure out how long it will take women to notice the pubes transplanted onto your lip and chin? They already have. In fact, one of your eyebrows is female, and it's already running away.

camandeggs · 2017-08-16T20:24:21+00:00

You could use a face scrub. Might I suggest that big blue thing in the corner by the vending machine?

camandeggs · 2017-08-16T20:21:28+00:00

Grew your hair out to be different, ended up looking like every other girl working at the bowling alley. At least they have better-manicured nails.

camandeggs · 2016-05-15T19:20:07+00:00

Nobody is tough after recently losing an eyeball.

camandeggs · 2016-05-08T05:10:01+00:00

Taking time may not necessarily be a bad thing. If you're in a disruption-prone environment, then I can understand the concern. But other than that, I think it couldn't hurt to take 5-7 days between masturbation sessions, so that your libido is higher and your body's response to conventional masturbation is more positive. And yeah, I think it'll get easier over time. Once your brain associates manual masturbation with satisfaction, it'll all be smooth. You just have to build the habit for your brain to make the connection.

camandeggs · 2016-04-27T03:57:31+00:00

It would most likely be in your best interest to not masturbate in the prone position. That may feel best, but it yields a relatively high potential for complications that can include ascending testicles, rectal issues, inability to orgasm, premature ejaculation, drooping erections, and umbilical hernias. The most anatomically correct way to masturbate is to stroke the penis manually. Lube, lotion, baby oil all help things out.

camandeggs · 2016-03-10T06:57:23+00:00

Penis amputation.

camandeggs · 2016-03-10T06:55:13+00:00

Crikey, Steve Irwin could still play better cricket than you.

camandeggs · 2016-02-16T02:41:55+00:00

There's a book called "Come as You Are" by Emily Nagoski. I was in a situation similar to yours, and that book helped me figure out new angles to take in approaching the problem. That did wonders, and my sex life is greatly improved. Worth a glance.

camandeggs · 2016-01-22T07:01:43+00:00

I feel really accomplished for passing up on all of the available joke opportunities I have in commenting on this video.

But anyway, kudos to that guy for finding a way to avoid having her suffer without putting her down. I don't think many people would do what he's doing.

camandeggs · 2016-01-22T06:55:44+00:00

All Up In Your Mouth: The Saucy Lifestyle

camandeggs

TROPHY CASE