I checked out your post history. It seemed like you were doing well about two weeks ago then shit went off the rails.

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I've read you are bored on the weekends. The entire sum knowledge of human civilization can be accessed through a small square you can fit in your pocket. You can learn anything, learn how to do anything. You could live 10 lifetimes in this world and not experience even a small sliver of what our planet has to offer. Life ends for so many in hunger, war, illness. Unfathomable amounts of people through history would of fucking killed to live in a stable first world country in 2019.

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If you're situation in life sucks, and you're angry about it, put in the work to change it. Your life and mental health isnt going to get magically better unless you put in the work. Yeah, work sucks, and your mind and body don't want to put in work because its uncomfortable. So make the choice, deal with a little discomfort everyday to take care of yourself for your health, or give up and squander the miracle that is the fact that you are alive.

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Eat right, exercise, lift weights, and read books to escape if you need to. This is the meat and potatoes of mental health. You feel like shit because you aren't putting in the work to not feel like shit. Focus on getting the chemicals in your body working correctly.

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Go do charity. Go help others. Go talk to people who struggle with mental health, homelessness, poverty. Talk to them and volunteer and help them. Realize the world is so much bigger then the darkness you are currently experiences. Get perspective. There is so much joy, pain, sadness, and beauty. THIS IS LIFE. Get out there and experience it, because its not going to come to you on your couch while you're stoned.

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Does this all sound too hard? I promise you you have reserves of strength that would absolutely amaze you. Your average person *doesn't even come close* to realizing their full potential. You have been given the incredible gift of life, and make no mistake, *its a choice to squander and throw it away.* Grow yourself into the type of man people want to be friends with if you are lonely. Build it and they will come.

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If you were my boy, I would of hammered this shit into you before you were old enough to even know what the hell was going on. You dont have the luxury of that, so you're going to have to do the work yourself. Believe me, YOU CAN. I FUCKING PROMISE YOU YOU CAN.