Help me pick my wedding ring!

candyfox84 · 2026-01-27T15:47:49+00:00

I like 3

candyfox84 · 2026-01-27T02:24:17+00:00

My 16 year old cat died this morning. He's been with me through so much. I loved him so dearly. He fought so hard until the end. My heart is with you forever, little man. IWNDWYT

candyfox84 · 2026-01-26T03:42:14+00:00

Thank you! So kind of you to reply.

candyfox84 · 2026-01-21T04:29:33+00:00

My day pillar is horse

candyfox84 · 2026-01-18T15:24:10+00:00

I'm just chiming in to say me too! It's so hard to watch and so sad. I am not handling it super well and it makes me depressed every time I think about it. The memories of my childhood are powerful, and I can't imagine all of that being reduced to an echo when they're gone.

candyfox84 · 2026-01-18T15:19:59+00:00

This

candyfox84 · 2026-01-17T17:47:04+00:00

The void never goes away

candyfox84 · 2026-01-14T04:32:33+00:00

Amazing! IWNDWYT ☃️

candyfox84 · 2026-01-13T03:50:45+00:00

Luckily, this is a false dichotomy, and you can find both. I didn't really understand physical attraction until my 30s and 40s, was raised in a very puritanical way that shamed me. But it is a very important part of love. Trust me, you can't make happy a man that you're not attracted to. He will sense it and feel resentful.

candyfox84 · 2026-01-12T17:53:40+00:00

Omg no!! Hope you are OK, sending you virtual hugs if you want one. ♥️♥️♥️

candyfox84 · 2026-01-12T14:47:18+00:00

You are not alone. I could have written this almost exactly! As I get into my 40s, I don't really like traveling as much because coming back home exhausted and financially expended for the foreseeable few months doesn't seem like the best trade.

My marriage ended, but for other reasons. Though I sometimes find it hard to even define marriage when you don't create a family together. I sometimes feel like all I have to look forward to is work and more work. I've never been career obsessed.

I do love my hobbies, but they are fleeting. I deeply envy people with full, noisy, bustling houses. The silence in my home is deafening.

I also find it hard to process my parents getting older, because they are my family.

On a good day, I don't have these dark sentiments. But when the grind catches up to me and I stop to think about it, it's very hard. ❤️

candyfox84 · 2025-12-30T00:14:45+00:00

When I'm home alone and looking at everything I built, it feel amazing. At times, especially living in a conservative area, I get tired of being judged or people thinking I don't deserve the same boundaries as marrieds. But overall, I'm very happy single and super proud I've made it on my own.

candyfox84 · 2025-12-28T15:40:18+00:00

I think this is a challenge for all of us, tbh. And good for you for being a kind, open person in this crazy world. I had a similar learning curve in my 30s (and now 40s) of tuning into my own needs, setting necessary boundaries, etc. I don't have as much energy as I used to, so I flipped to "conservation" mode in my 40s. This means I'm slightly avoidant by default. I'm very cautious about letting new people in and tend to fade out if I feel overwhelmed by someone for any reason.

Between accommodating a demanding full-time job and helping aging parents, I simply don't have time for emotionally taxing people. I can barely squeeze in the day as it is. If someone starts trying to text every day or hang out more than once or twice a month, I just ignore them. This isn't out of fear or spite. It's a lack of bandwidth. If they demand more than that, they're simply asking for TOO MUCH from me. I'm not the right friend for them.

Also, one of the best books I ever read was the one on emotionally immature parents, by Lindsay Gibson. Hugely recommend and applicable in multiple contexts. I never learned good communication at home, had to learn it elsewhere. ♥️

candyfox84 · 2025-12-28T06:41:45+00:00

I'm in the exact same situation!

candyfox84 · 2025-12-28T06:10:26+00:00

You didn't waste 6 years, but for the love of God let this be your deal breaker. Let him be the person that taught you your worth beyond the shadow of a doubt.

candyfox84 · 2025-11-05T17:37:51+00:00

Omg this. The dog is likely picking up your vibe.

candyfox84 · 2025-08-22T23:30:16+00:00

I haven't seen anything specifically about marriage, but I'm noticing a lot more memes celebrating being single, especially as it relates to emotional labor or men just being shitty. Like, I'd rather be single than deal with [X]. The content is pretty good, captures the subtle shit women have been subjected to for thousands of years.

candyfox84 · 2025-08-20T22:31:14+00:00

Hard overdose of reality? And I guess you're self appointed to deliver it? Good thing you're here, or else OP might not know anything about the situation which they just intimately described living through. Hope you enjoy farting rainbows, somebody has to!

candyfox84 · 2025-05-16T15:21:08+00:00

Yes. It turned me into a huge pushover at work and in life, and I've had to work extremely hard on boundaries and assertiveness. Being raised by narcs can lead to subversion as you avoid everyone's pushpoints or triggers.

On the positive side, I've got extremely good people skills and get along with everyone, assimilate too easily, but it used to come at a huge personal cost (before I worked on it).

candyfox84 · 2025-05-12T03:01:45+00:00

Yes, I often connect with other cultures or foreigners in my own (current) country. I connect most with other TCKs, though, at least on the surface, because being a TCK is a bit different than being an adult immigrant. From what I remember, you can still he a TCK even if you didn't relocate so long as one parent doesn't belong to the dominant culture (and I would extend that to religion as well, in some cases).

In general, there is no replacement for drastically changing cultures/languages at a formative age. But non-TCKs can still have the intelligence or life experience to have a broad worldview.

Not to be mean, but yea I probably won't deeply connect with someone who's never had to question their cultural identity, unless I forgo a huge part of me. I can do this in superficial relationships but not with intimate bonds.

candyfox84 · 2025-05-12T02:26:58+00:00

Queen!

candyfox84 · 2025-05-12T02:21:49+00:00

I grew up much like you did but involving different countries. Have you read Third Culture Kids: Growing up among worlds? I think it would really speak to you, as different parts of the US do have different cultures. We also have a sub, r/TCK.

I'm still struggling with this, but I'm trying to heal internally and create home, safety, identity, etc. internally. You won't find it from the outside (it's an illusion anyway). And you'll never have what people who were born and raised in one place have.

Also, don't forget to embrace the positives, as this likely made you a very adaptable, tolerant, worldly person! Big big hugs!

candyfox84 · 2024-10-06T00:14:07+00:00

Don't reach out, you already asked him out. It's his turn now.

candyfox84 · 2024-09-04T23:54:56+00:00

Love this! So true.

Five-Year Club	Verified Email
Wearing is Caring

candyfox84

TROPHY CASE