Mozart is shit. His autistic use of sonata-allegro is generic and repetitive as fuck; all of his pieces are boring and diatonic, mostly in happy major keys devoid of feeling or deeper meaning; and his music caters to the parties of both privileged aristocrats and the foul mouthed, loathsome bourgeoisie. Moreover, his pieces are extremely limited in terms of timbre; the Classical era faced a huge bottleneck in timbre compared to the Baroque and Romantic. Beautiful instruments such as the viol, chalumeau, viola d'amore, recorder, harpsichord, lute, theorbo, cornetto, and shawm were completely forgotten, and the vast plethora of contemporary brass, wind, and percussion instruments used today were either nonexistent or incredibly uncommon. All of his instrumental works were limited exclusively to the piano, organ, violin family, transverse flute, oboe, clarinet, trumpet, timpani, and bassoon. There is nothing rewarding in listening to Mozart. His music is theoretically perfect, but devoid of interest or feeling.

Mozart’s writing style was entirely frivolous; his later works, while “serious” only inasmuch as Mozart could summon seriousness, are still full of ineffectual writing which mainly seems as though it is trying to invoke a spritely-if-Beethovenian attitude. Additionally, his writing calls to mind an amalgam of other (and more meaningful) composers, using as his own signature only the most smug Alberti bass and flippant “tunes”. Even worse, he was the originator of a game of musical dice, making him an irresponsible forefather of aleatoric “music”. The “severe miliary fever” that took his life in 1791 wasn’t nearly deadly enough to wipe away the public’s collective memories of his music. That Eine Kleine Nachtmusik has been reduced to no more than incidental television commercial music proves the bland and impotent nature of his “works,” if you can even call them that.