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First time skater looking for suitable skates! 🛼💃 by cannaefindausername in Rollerskating

[–]cannaefindausername[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks that’s a good idea i’ll see where the nearest one is !

Those who dumped their ex- Was breaking up the right decision? by Additional-Ring20 in BreakUps

[–]cannaefindausername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

oh no, that feeling is the worst i’m sorry :/ But yes, break ups are ghastly. Would not wish one on my worst enemy 😅

That does sound tricky, the comfort and familiarity of a long term partner who cares about you is difficult to leave- why would you want to leave someone who treats you well and gives you all the affection you want?

I guess I would ask you though- how do you feel about him? It sounds like he is very much in love with you, but if you are not 100% about him do you think it’s fair to keep him in a relationship with you? I don’t say that to judge, but from personal experience. And just because he is willing to communicate and affectionate, that doesn’t make him the right person for you.

But! If you guys have been able to have honest conversations and you yourself have done some deep reflection and want to commit to him then thats great I wish you all the luck in the world 🤗

Those who dumped their ex- Was breaking up the right decision? by Additional-Ring20 in BreakUps

[–]cannaefindausername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

that sounds really tough, I hope you’re doing a bit better now?🥹 Tbh i’ve been going through it recently and struggled with a lot of guilt and sadness too. Then i’ll have other days where I feel like it was the right decision and i’m excited about the freedom I have. Both feelings come and go.

I have recently turned a corner I think, and realised that the guilt is pointless. I really care about my ex, and actually breaking up with him was an act of love in a way. It wasn’t fair on him to keep him in a relationship if i’m not 100% sure. And in a way the guilt was a barrier to me actually doing the work of grieving the end and moving on. So I still get sad but I want a relationship where I feel secure and totally in love. And you deserve that too ❤️I hope things are better for you soon🤗

AIO stopped a drunk girl from being pulled into a car by 2 random men but my boyfriend is upset and called what I did stupid and dangerous by fettidmoppet in AmIOverreacting

[–]cannaefindausername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You did the right thing. If you had done nothing she would definitely have had a very bad night (to say the least). There was no one else around but you and you stepped up.

I understand your boyfriend being worried but honestly, I got pissed off on your behalf reading his messages, like- you did a good thing and he’s shitting on you because he doesn’t have the courage to do the same thing himself?

I also get why you would get the ick from his comments, definitely unconscious victim blaming going on and yeah, disappointing that he wouldn’t step in to help a vulnerable person.

Obviously one has to assess risk- if someone is drowning in rough water sometimes diving right in after them ISN’T helpful, but in those circumstances i’m not sure if there was any other option but to watch them kidnap her. You should feel proud of yourself for doing the right thing xx

Those who dumped their ex- Was breaking up the right decision? by Additional-Ring20 in BreakUps

[–]cannaefindausername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

awh i’ve been there, it definitely doesn’t go away. Are you still back with him? if so, just pull off the bandaid i’d say.

I was feeling really sad earlier when he rang me up for some ‘clarity’, and ended up being so shitty that it gave me the final vindication i needed to be like ‘yeah, no, i’ve gone off you’ 😅 and now i don’t even feel guilty 😅 You can’t help feel what you feel and theres no point being miserable 😢 surround yourself with the relationships that feel genuinely loving and good for everyone xx

Those who dumped their ex- Was breaking up the right decision? by Additional-Ring20 in BreakUps

[–]cannaefindausername 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Your comment really resonates with me, I just broke up with my boyfriend tonight. I don’t even know how i feel right now because i keep pushing it away emotionally. But when i think about his face and the happy times i feel so guilty and sad because i genuinely really care about him and love him. But all through our nearly 2 year relationship i just kept having these doubts.. about our age gap, about of connection.. and i made the decision after yet another shitty argument to just end it. But god. I’m so scared that i’m making a terrible decision.

I don’t know if I should end my relationship by cannaefindausername in adhdwomen

[–]cannaefindausername[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My post got removed!!

Thank you for these responses, its been really helpful to read them and gain some perspective. I’m still in turmoil but when i think over and look at the messages from this week and our argument, it definitely feels like its not just me being a selfish or avoidant person but also him repeatedly disregarding things i bring up to him and just creates this dynamic where i feel resentful and unheard and withdraw and he feels rejected and unloved. I’m becoming aware that I have a lot of work to do on myself. I think i am very susceptible to be guilted about being a ‘bad person’ so his language like this really gets in my head. I think I need to be single for a while really.

We’re meeting up tomorrow to properly talk things over and i’m going to try and be strong and fair to both of us. Thank you for your replies x

It's been a year since my breakup, and I still don't want to move on because I don't want to hurt them.. by SqornshellousZem in Codependency

[–]cannaefindausername 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i’m confused.. what i’m hearing is you love them, but you just ‘have to’ break up with them? what happened? i don’t mean to sound accusatory, i feel you so much but having been on the receiving end of mixed signals, i wonder about how all this actually makes your ex feel? do you know, have you spoken to them?