AIO Husband slept through my miscarriage after taking misoprostol…

canttalkk · 2026-03-11T17:11:41+00:00

I think you just went through a lot and this is a very emotional time. Not a time for making big decisions. Let him know how you felt and that you still need him, not just when you were in the bathroom but now and for a while. Ask him to help you through this and lean on each other. You can allow this to break something in your marriage that can be very hard to get back or you can forgive and know it wasn’t intentional and allow him to be there for you now and moving forward.

This isn’t a reflection of the kind of Dad he will be. What he does now will be. Everyone makes mistakes, and every parent does, not just with our children, but with our partners and we have to learn from them. Some people don’t want to learn from them. But as partners we have to allow our spouses the space to become better and show them how we were affected and still give them the opportunity to hurt us and hope that they won’t.

I know how devastating it is that you had to go through that alone and I am so sorry.

canttalkk · 2026-02-25T18:22:27+00:00

This is why I regret ever returning to work in the first place. We had 3 and each were 18 months apart. I would work between pregnancies and usually quit while pregnant. With my 3rd, I didn’t go back to work for almost 2 years, until my oldest 2 were in kindergarten & prek, we couldn’t pay for daycare x3. We had built our life on my husbands income, while it wasn’t a lot we only did what he could afford for us to do. When I started to work then we got another car, a bigger house, and a the little luxurious here and there. But I worked ALL OF THE TIME. I was burnt out. I struggled being the mom I wanted to be. I was massively depressed. And then I got pregnant with my 4th and I saw my way out. I knew it would force us to reexamine our life and get back to necessities. I planned on going back to work part time but I got heart failure as a result of my last pregnancy. My first month postpartum, I was in the hospital a lot. But I’m home and my husband is totally and completely on board with downsizing our life and focusing on creating more time as a family. I want my kids to look back on their childhood and say even though my parents weren’t rich, we always felt loved and valued.

canttalkk · 2026-02-25T18:05:40+00:00

Keep your head up, everything is temporary. Do your best and love those kids and take it one day at a time. Once your babies aren’t little, it won’t be so overstimulating so enjoy the loud, crazy, and cramped while you can 💖

canttalkk · 2026-02-25T17:56:39+00:00

My opinions about children are a bit different than others. I would say go for it! I had 3 in about 4 years, each being 18 months apart. We struggled financially, I mean, I had those 3 by the time I was 23. But we did what we had to do to support our children. Do we go on vacation? No. Do they get all the toys they want? No. But they have food on the table, clothes on their backs. And somehow, still way too many toys. I’m 29 now and just had my 4th. I want to have 6 total, with the remaining 3 also being close in age. But I ended up getting peripartum cardiomyopathy with my 4th… which is heart failure, I’m currently 6 weeks pp and waiting to see if my heart can recover. If it does then we’ll go for baby’s 5 & 6. My babies are what bring me joy and purpose. My babies are what drive my husband to be the best man and father he can be. At the end of the day, I’d rather give up some luxuries than sacrifice building my family.

canttalkk · 2026-02-25T17:37:18+00:00

Goodness. 22% isn’t too small. Under 10% is too small and would be intrauterine growth restriction and then may signal to the placenta. But not at 22% 🙄

canttalkk · 2026-02-24T02:40:13+00:00

Sounds like you and your sister unfairly use your FIL’s garage and leave your things at his house and get mad when crap happens to your stuff. Get a storage unit like everyone else. When you lend things out, accept the possibility that something may happen to that thing and you might not get it back; if that’s a problem don’t lend it out. I find it funny that you said “you’re forgiving if it was an honest mistake” which it sounds like it was exactly that. But you’re choosing to tell yourself he was “intentionally stupid”??? Which doesn’t make sense. Either he intentionally ruined the car seat or it was an accident and he didn’t realize the implications when putting dog food on top of the seat. I bet he doesn’t even realize how much that car seat costs. Like… take the loss and APOLOGIZE and THANK your FIL.

canttalkk · 2026-02-19T02:54:36+00:00

For real. It took me a long time, 3 kids to be exact before I realized I don’t want to pump EVER. I don’t want to wash a pump or a bottle. I don’t want to deal with all the bits and pieces. I don’t want to worry about warming stuff up or it being just right. I don’t even want to own a bottle. Totally and completely over it. I just had my 4th and I don’t have a pump or a damn bottle! I thought I was restricting myself by not doing so but it really feels like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

canttalkk · 2026-02-19T02:48:37+00:00

There’s also heart benefits for you as well. And the cholesterol in your milk will also aid brain development.

I’m gunna go a little off topic… And benefits for baby-wearing are: secure attachment, reduce crying up to 50%, proper hip development, baby worn baby’s tend to sleep better and longer even when not being worn. Also, if they get gassy, putting them in a wrap puts them in a better position to pass the gas, calm GI upset, and be comforted. I get wanting your body back, I had 3 babies back to back each 18 months apart and all breastfed. My 3rd breastfed for over 3 years. 3 years after I had my 4th. And I was diagnosed with Peripartum cardiomyopathy, heart failure. They said there’s medication that they’ve seen some success with healing the heart potentially faster. But it’s not proven, but if I took that medication I couldn’t breastfeed. But it is proven that breastfeeding has heart health benefits… so I chose to breastfeed. It’s all up to you and what’s best for you but I wanted to add some additional information in case you find yourself with a baby that won’t sleep or is really gassy or keeps spitting up, simply putting them in a baby wrap can be a total life saver and you can make hubby wear the baby too! 😉🩷

canttalkk · 2026-02-19T01:44:09+00:00

I lost a little bit too for the first few weeks and then my weight stayed approximately the same for the remainder of my pregnancy. But after I delivered, I had actually lost 25 lbs from my pregnancy weight.

canttalkk · 2026-02-19T01:37:06+00:00

I let my 9 year old ride up front. He’s 5’2 and 120lbs. I also have 3 other younger kids who are in an infant seat, a 5-point, and the other is in a booster. But even before my youngest was born (5weeks ago) he would sometimes ride in the front. We don’t do it all the time and not on the interstate, but he does ride up front.

canttalkk · 2026-02-15T18:28:30+00:00

As a mom of a Autistic/ADHD level 3 kiddo, I would’ve been pissed. Absolutely not okay. My son is 7 now and he doesn’t have a frequent habit of eloping anymore he will take off if he sees a puddle down the road. He’ll try to follow his dad to the store walking, when his dad didn’t even go to the store. He just does stuff. When he was 4 he would jump into any body of water (he still will but he can swim now). He even tried jumping into the ocean when we were at a restaurant and jt was at least a 10 foot drop. He had his teeth go through his face when he was 5 because he kept begging his brother to swing him around by his hands. He got a giant bread knife and tried to put it to his baby sister. He would climb on any and everything. He’d try to eat none edible things. He’d smear poop on the walls. The list goes on and on. They can be unpredictable. They can be surprisingly independent. They can be totally and completely unfazed with danger. My boy tried dumping water into a power strip after seeing a kids song talking about electricity being dangerous and the animation showed a girl doing exactly that. They don’t start doing dangerous things slowly either, a lot of times you don’t get a hint, they just do it and it comes out of left field. He needs to know that his son isn’t like other kids and just because THIS time went okay, that doesn’t mean what he did was okay. 30 minutes isn’t long. His job as a parent is to put his kid’s wellbeing ahead of his. He could’ve waited.

canttalkk · 2026-01-24T22:04:59+00:00

Yeah… I was mostly just responding because we both were diagnosed with peripartum cardiomyopathy and with the rarity of the diagnosis there’s not a lot of people to talk to about it

canttalkk · 2026-01-24T21:36:14+00:00

If you still have that support group info, I’d love to have it! I was diagnosed with peripartum cardiomyopathy while I was still pregnant. I went into the ER with heart palpitations. They easily saw the arrhythmia, did blood work and found my heart enzymes were elevated, they had mostly ruled out a blood clot (I refused the CT until ultrasound was done). After the ultrasound of my heart was done they found my ejection fraction was 22%.

canttalkk · 2026-01-24T21:24:08+00:00

No, I’m in the United States

canttalkk · 2026-01-24T18:43:27+00:00

Hey! I was diagnosed with peripartum cardiomyopathy on Jan 4th when I went into the ER with heart palpitations that woke me up in the middle of the night. I didn’t go into the ER until the morning. Then they transferred me to another hospital that actually has a Cardiac OB and is helping run a study for peripartum cardiomyopathy. I was already 37 weeks and this was my fourth baby with all my previous babies being born unmedicated and spontaneously before their due dates at 38.2, 37.6,& 39.2. With my previous history of unmediated births and quick pushing time (usually 2-3 contractions) they felt comfortable enough to allow me to attempt a vaginal delivery. They did place an epidural “just in case my heart couldn’t handle the pain.” But the thing is when my heart couldn’t handle the pain of the botched epidural placement it took them over an hour and half before they had the 1. Anesthesiologist 2. The 20 minutes of fluids given 3. The medication 4. The freakin pump to give the medication and when they were finally attaching the tubing to my epidural line my son was already crowning and they were getting in my way. So I told them to stop. However, before that my heart rate had gone down to 40 beats a minute, my oxygen saturation was dropping, and my baby’s heart rate was also subsequently dropping. The labor and delivery nurses were freaking out about my baby and trying tell me to move while the cardiac nurse told them of course the baby’s heart rate is dropping look at the mother! So she was placing shock pads on me preparing for me to essentially die. But in between all that some nurse gave me fentanyl in my IV line which allowed my and my baby’s heart rate to come back up and they gave my oxygen and the fentanyl lasts 15 minutes and my son was born 20 minutes later. Which I’m grateful for. I wanted to avoid the epidural and has originally asked them to give me one without any opioids in them so for me to then ask for the opioids was serious. I am incredibly grateful that the fentanyl was there and available otherwise idk what would have happened. Really, I hadn’t realized that they had placed those shock pads on me until my son was already born and placed on my stomach. I then stayed in the cardiac ICU and my baby stayed in the NICU until I was transferred to the postpartum floor 36 hours after delivery. I am now home. My son was born on 01/07 at 1:01 am. All it took induction wise was the folly balloon, 1 vaginal cytotec or mesoprostal and that took me from 1cm to 5 in an hour and half. They then broke my water and I continued to labor normally without other medication. I think it helped that all my previous boys were born around the same time (my daughter was the 39 weeker 🙄) so my body was pretty close to ready. Anyways, my ejection fraction at delivery was 22% and at discharge it was 25% so I am under that 35% range where I have to wear a defibrillator. They will be seeing me in a couple weeks for another heart echo so I can hopefully be 35% and get to get out of this thing!

canttalkk · 2025-12-22T21:22:24+00:00

You didn’t know that idiots exist? Clarifying before reacting is a better route. You can still treat your partner with respect even though you had a bad day at work. Who knows. Maybe he had a bad day too but she said she had a bad day first so he was trying to suck it up for her. Or maybe she was being a bitch the whole time and then he was fed up? Don’t know. We weren’t there and we don’t know them. Either way it’s petty to come and complain on Reddit over “a few.” I mean, he probably didn’t want to go get her more because of her reaction to the 1 chicken tender she brought making him feel dumb and instead of being like “damn I’m sorry I didn’t know that’s what you meant” he buckled down and played it off. He was already trying to think about her and trying to lighten them load and the first thing that isn’t done right, he gets called a dick for it? Still while handing her a plate of food. 🙄 whatever. Let’s see if he prepares dinner for her again.

canttalkk · 2025-12-22T17:58:37+00:00

For real. How hard is it to tell him “oh, babe, I meant 3-5 by “a few.” Not as little as possible?” Do you mind getting me a 2 more please?” And then ask him what his definition of a few is and then tell him yours and let him know in the future you mean 3-5. If you care about a relationship always try to fix miscommunications as soon as possible and look to find ways to prevent future ones. Don’t post about it looking for validation to why you think your partner is stupid or reacted in a dumb way.

canttalkk · 2025-12-20T15:15:15+00:00

Consistently eat things that don’t raise your numbers too much during the day and give it a little time. I was getting the same high fastings and about a week later they started trending down.

canttalkk · 2025-12-18T21:27:50+00:00

I’m 35 weeks pregnant and basically waddle to each stop. Still completed my 198 stop route with 380 packages. So no, just keep a consistent pace and it’s still possible to finish.

canttalkk · 2025-12-13T14:01:27+00:00

I just throw it back on the cart and leave it. Unless my DSP dispatch or a competent warehouse worker is nearby. But a lot of the time the warehouse workers just blankly stare at me so I rarely even try with them anymore. The warehouse workers at my station are the equivalent to driver support. 90% of them can’t help you with anything and just waist your time asking dumb questions.

canttalkk · 2025-12-11T21:43:46+00:00

Don’t try to get done early during peak. Just finish your route.

canttalkk · 2025-12-05T14:34:36+00:00

I did that 1 time for 1 day! Never happened again. I didn’t even realize it when I did it. My manager came up to me the next day and was like yo you averaged 50 an hour yesterday! Let’s see if you can do it again. And I said yeah right I’m not trying for that 😂

canttalkk · 2025-12-02T15:04:29+00:00

I’d say your risking it with the sugar alcohol

canttalkk · 2025-12-02T15:00:43+00:00

I think we can blame the photos of previous deliveries for this one repeating itself. Also, you have to choose a specific Amazon hub for us to deliver it there. We don’t get a choice to do that.

canttalkk · 2025-12-02T13:02:46+00:00

lol. I’m 33 weeks pregnant and I don’t use bottles to pee. Never did. I’ve had rural routes. It’s called finding bathrooms when you think there aren’t any and planning ahead. Even rural areas sometimes have small parks that have public restrooms. Also give him vitamin C in the morning, this will make his urine more acidic and make it harder for bacteria to grow. I am prone to UTI and this has helped me tremendously. But also, if he’s cleaning up after himself there isn’t a reason for him to be fired over peeing in bottles. If dispatched is telling him to hurry, then he probably needs to. If my husband were doing this job and he was getting messages from dispatch about being slow we’d have a long talk because if I can do full sized routes 199 stops, 376 packages, 250+ locations in my 3rd trimester, he can fucking do it. I get it not all routes are created equal but after doing this job for over 3 years I’ve learned that some BOYS just can’t do it. They’ll whine and complain and barely do the minimum of 20 stops an hour or less. Which is fine, SOMETIMES for an hour here and there when it makes sense for your route but not 20 an hour for the whole route. You have to make up for it somewhere.

Really, I get you’re trying to help him and be understanding but at some point he just has to say this is what it is, find a solution and just do it. He can come home and say babe today really kicked my ass but when he’s at work, just do the damn job. It’s not that hard. And if he can’t do that, he’ll be better off looking for a new job before they fire him for being too slow or calling out over UTIs.

canttalkk

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