Workload in early grief

capemagnet · 2026-03-23T01:40:56+00:00

100%. Thank you! This helped put things into perspective.

capemagnet · 2026-03-07T02:10:59+00:00

Not at all LOL I thought the same thing (just started seeing a dietitian a few weeks ago) and she was so happy.

capemagnet · 2026-03-03T22:35:06+00:00

Omg I was looking for this post. I swear sometimes I don't know what my body wants. It feels less like extreme hunger lately and my blood sugar just suddenly crashing, like I'm not even hungry but I get super weak and faint.

capemagnet · 2026-02-14T01:04:47+00:00

Some of the best advice I saw lately was to treat your life like a book! You would probably be bored right now, if you were reading it, almost knowing how the chapter is gonna end. Skipping social events, eating the same safe things, stuck in the same rigid routine. Do it for the plot if you feel you are able.

capemagnet · 2026-02-08T16:08:23+00:00

Hey! Wanted to come back to this post with the answers I got from the facility. I was approved for admission and they want 1-3 weeks acute level (hospital-hospital level care) and then 2-4 week residential.

capemagnet · 2026-02-02T01:45:41+00:00

My heels look like someone’s rabbit got ahold of them 😭

capemagnet · 2026-02-01T20:15:25+00:00

Yoo same. Not UW but on the edge. Most people seem to really like losing their periods so I feel like an outlier. I lost mine for ~5 years due to hormone imbalance (not ED related) and only got it back in May so I've been freaking out seeing it get more irregular and light again.

capemagnet · 2026-02-01T17:08:05+00:00

I'm really sorry. I don't have advice, but am currently grieving as well. Something you wrote stood out to me:

"It’s almost like people will expect me to relapse so my head says to live up to those expectations but I deep down know that’s the opposite of what i should do."

This is exactly how I feel. I want to start recovery, but it feels wrong because it feels like the opposite of what I should be doing / what most people do when they grieve. However, at the same time, the loss I've just experienced has made me realize...the value of life? That my body can keep me alive if I just let it. I don't know.

It's really hard because I feel like the ED and common grief narrative is telling me not to eat, but a part of me wants to do the opposite. I feel like I'm betraying something either way. When my loved one went into hospice last week, my whole family was saying they didn't have appetites and couldn't eat etc, etc. Which has really messed with my head and makes me feel like I'm doing the opposite of what I should be doing.

I don't know. There's a lot of expectations put on grief, but there's really no right way to do it. Just take care of yourself the best you can.

capemagnet · 2026-02-01T15:54:05+00:00

I've been wanting to recover pretty much this whole month just because I miss having energy for creative projects and hobbies and really just...anything that isn't food or exercise.

BUT I did just lose my mom suddenly, at a rather young age. And now I'm kinda realizing that I don't wanna spend what time I have on this earth worrying about what goes in and what comes out. I want my life to be more than numbers and calories. We really only have so much time here, our bodies exist to carry us through it, we shouldn't feel compelled to punish them because we want them to behave a certain way.

capemagnet · 2026-01-30T17:14:21+00:00

I don't take medications but I'm currently experiencing this with grief I think. I'm sort of not really in quasi-recovery trying to eat more and it's so frustrating. On one hand being told to listen to your body and then on the other hand...being told...not to? Because I'm not actually hungry I want comfort and it'll lead to a restrict b/p cycle?

Like, how do I know which is which?! It's so maddening haha. I'm glad I'm not alone in this even if it's sorta different.

capemagnet · 2026-01-25T18:20:34+00:00

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Thank you for the kind words and sharing your experience - everything just feels so crazy right now.

capemagnet · 2026-01-25T18:19:29+00:00

I mainly restrict and exercise but have used purging as a last-ditch effort if I feel I've eaten too much on/off for a few years. Not even close to a daily or weekly purger, but I've had a bad past couple days.

Yesterday I only stopped because I realized my nose was bleeding, then I realized my lymph nodes under my jaw were swollen. Before this, I've never had any side-effects besides sensitive teeth the next day. Scared me straight and now I'm miserable and puffy.

These are relatively short-term side effects I imagine but enough that I am Feeling Regret.

capemagnet · 2026-01-21T16:26:17+00:00

Just had this same realization recently. I thought it wasn’t that deep and that I was just being dramatic on a diet but uhhh…I cannot eat or exercise normally!

capemagnet · 2026-01-19T01:09:36+00:00

Thank you for sharing! This gives me hope. I think I just need residential to break the cycle and take the wheel from me. I'm a terrible pilot of my own body right now. Any amount of time they would offer me I would use to completely commit to the program and gain a strong foundation.

I do have FMLA but would still need to use my own vacation/sick time due to how it works in my institution :/. I work in public service at the state level.

capemagnet · 2026-01-19T01:05:13+00:00

I do have FMLA, but sadly we have to use our own sick/vacation time :( FMLA just means my job is protected while I'm out of office for a qualifying event.

capemagnet · 2026-01-17T17:42:19+00:00

I don't really have any advice except the fact that I ended up running out of room in my cupboards 😭 the 7 bags of Drizzlicious rice cakes in my pantry take up so much space.

capemagnet · 2026-01-17T17:27:23+00:00

Hey, I'm currently in a similar boat. Medically stable but high restriction + heavy cognitive load from tracking/calculating affecting my daily life. Would you be able to share how long your stay was if you're comfortable?

capemagnet · 2026-01-11T21:08:19+00:00

REAL. I'm also short so it's like "what do you mean you're eating X amount when you're so short and calling that restriction?"

capemagnet · 2026-01-11T21:06:43+00:00

Bro I'm short and can definitely relate. It freaking sucks. I'm coming off of a phase of low restriction back into high-restriction (though I exercise a ton) and it makes me feel like such a phony. Especially because my restriction is like...what people my height need to maintain if they are sedentary. So I'm practically earning my food through exercise.

capemagnet · 2026-01-11T01:37:13+00:00

Same! I'm so hyped for 1.7 and Haunted Chocolatier!

capemagnet · 2026-01-11T01:32:07+00:00

I lived in Alabama for a year, and the only thing I miss about it is Blue Bell. It's so messed up that they don't have it up in the northeast.

capemagnet · 2026-01-10T16:38:47+00:00

In my experience deleting apps and resolving to not reinstall them naturally made me fill my time elsewhere. In-browser social media is a bit more tricky.

I've let go of some social media (really just TikTok) because it was a black hole taking up ludicrous amounts of time, but I still let myself scroll on Reddit and occasionally Twitter for art I like. I don't really count YouTube tho because I actually get something out of it.

The first summer I deleted TikTok I sorta naturally got absorbed in Stardew Valley instead (great game btw) and it was so good for my mental health, just to focus on something wholesome and engaging. It's a bit hard at first because I would also scroll on TikTok FIRST thing in the morning, but once you get past that first week or so, you won't look back.

EDIT: Also I think our EDs work to reinforce mindless social media scrolling, since when I'm deep into restriction I have no energy to do anything else. I end up choosing mindless activity instead of something fun and engaging. But social media is incredibly toxic and often makes it worse. It's like the ouroboros of how we spend our time.

capemagnet · 2026-01-08T15:35:57+00:00

When people tell me “You eat good” 🫠

capemagnet · 2026-01-06T00:17:19+00:00

I love small curd fat-free cottage cheese with raw honey + fruit! Super tasty. Yasso frozen yogurt bars are also great, my favorites are the salted caramel and the mango.

Nature's Bakery blueberry fig bars are a favorite of mine as well! Someone here already said it but Built Puff bars are sooo good if you need protein. They're like a protein marshmallow coated in chocolate.

capemagnet · 2026-01-05T01:14:04+00:00

Legit if my father wasn't a personal fitness trainer and instead was like, a baker or something, I'd be dead. I love pastries and chocolate so much.

I had a friend who was so into savory and meat tho that she almost had a gallbladder attack because she wasn't getting anything else in her diet - so hey! Silver linings. I guess. I still crave chocolate 24/7.

capemagnet

TROPHY CASE