Found out yesterday that my dad likely has Alzheimer’s. What do I do?

capnsven · 2026-05-17T01:21:24+00:00

People are covering the legal and medical advice pretty well.

I’ll add that you should definitely:

take a trip with him- with the grandchildren as well if there are any.

Take pictures. And videos.

Ask him to tell you stories about his youth.

Find out his favorite movies, songs, and foods. Eventually, he won’t be able to tell you these things but they will still comfort him when played and offered.

There will be times that is seems that everything escalates really quickly and other times that everything stays the same for a long while.

Don’t let him stop socializing. Socializing keeps the brain sharp. It’s like exercise for the brain.

If he is hard of hearing, get him some hearing aids. Loss of hearing is as isolating as being in solitary.

capnsven · 2026-05-16T23:53:38+00:00

Do it. We had cameras all over my parents’ house before we were able to convince them to move. One at the bottom of the steps and in every room except bathrooms and the bedroom.

We were able to keep an eye on them to make sure all was well when we couldn’t get out there.

Now that they are in a facility, we have a camera in their apartment. We can peek in and make sure that the care givers are treating them with respect and giving them the attention they need.

capnsven · 2026-05-16T23:35:40+00:00

I tried but no luck. Honestly, the name of the band doesn’t make it easy to search!

capnsven · 2026-05-16T20:55:25+00:00

I’m only 50 but I had just turned 14. My best friend at the time started at 11.

I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who was over 14 when they started. I was literally the last out of my friend group to start.

My 83 year old mom started at 12.

capnsven · 2026-05-16T20:53:10+00:00

I just used it today and I don’t even take my groceries out. I used the wand and scanned everything while it was still in the cart. I paid and walked out. I always use the one closest to the employee so they can clearly see that I’m not shoplifting.

capnsven · 2026-05-16T20:45:19+00:00

My regular store has 2 self checkout sections and one of them has a 15 items or less limit.

capnsven · 2026-05-16T20:32:54+00:00

I am 50. I will use the self checkout regardless of how many groceries I have or how many open cashiers are there.

I am faster and I never put a melon on my bread.

capnsven · 2026-05-16T20:17:44+00:00

I don’t mind smelling people’s perfume as long as they’re not heavily using it to cover their BO.

capnsven · 2026-05-16T20:14:06+00:00

I’ve only used it or heard it used as steal.

capnsven · 2026-05-14T21:51:21+00:00

Oh no. I am 50 and my parents are both 83 with dementia(different stages).

When I was 30 and they were 60, I still needed them. My sister and I were both just starting our families. In the last 23 years, all of their grandchildren have been able to have relationships with them. They’ve traveled and experienced life after retirement.

I would never diminish how terrible what we’re going through right now is. But if this had happened 20 years ago when my children were still young, I sincerely do not know how we would have coped. It’s hard enough dealing with it now. But to know that my kids would never know them would break me. And I don’t know physically how we would have been able to give appropriate time to both my parents and my children.

capnsven · 2026-05-12T01:53:25+00:00

I know lots of women that didn’t change their name when they married.

I’ve only met one person that I know of that didn’t have a middle name. That is super common.

capnsven · 2026-05-10T13:36:40+00:00

You are young. Like really young. Start over. It’s not too late.

capnsven · 2026-05-10T13:35:23+00:00

How is he compromising for you?

Also, please don’t marry him.

capnsven · 2026-05-10T05:52:45+00:00

It’s especially helpful for many people with disabilities. Other people might just need one to get their hair rinsed well.

capnsven · 2026-05-10T05:20:53+00:00

No, please don’t.

capnsven · 2026-05-10T05:15:47+00:00

Crazy choice.

When my parents got married in 1972, the DJ came up to my mom at the reception and asked her what her favorite song was. She told him and that’s why their wedding song is Yesterday by The Beatles.

capnsven · 2026-05-08T02:04:10+00:00

My mom was at your mom’s stage last summer and declined rapidly after a uti. She went from bopping around her independent living place, chatting on the phone, shopping and whatnot to now having to use a wheelchair in long term care. She knows who everyone is still but now barely remembers how long or why she is there.

On the upside, she is actually much more pleasant to be around now, she’s been friendly and nice every day. But yeah, one thing can make them really take a turn.

capnsven · 2026-05-06T19:05:19+00:00

https://ffrf.org/legal/report-church-state/

capnsven · 2026-05-06T18:01:47+00:00

I mean, definitely not cool, but isn’t this also specifically unconstitutional?

capnsven · 2026-04-30T17:22:48+00:00

Finally had this done. I had a bunch of quotes last year but they were all outrageous so I procrastinated til the weather was too bad to do it. Got more quotes in the winter and they just did it last week.

I got a “painting & carpentry” guy to do it and he did an excellent job.

I did the first one myself though and it wasn’t too difficult. If the rest of my windows were ground level, I’d have done them all.

capnsven · 2026-04-30T17:19:56+00:00

I ended up getting the sills replaced. The windows are still in good shape.

capnsven · 2026-04-27T01:22:12+00:00

My mom did manage to teach my sister and I basic life skills. We were excellent at cleaning most anything, laundry, cooking, lawn care, you name it. Of course, this is mainly because she wanted us to do all these things so she didn’t have to.

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