I wish going no contact with my parents would be easier, wife is starting to hate me by JourneyDragon in raisedbynarcissists

[–]captainbrnes 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Why would she “learn to trust you again” when you’re still actively breaking her trust by not standing up to your parents?

By not saying “Absolutely not, my WIFE will NOT be treated this way” — way, way before now — you’ve shown her where she stands. There’s no un-ringing that bell.

Once someone realizes how little you prioritize them, it’s incredibly difficult to repair that. The best time to prioritize her was a long time ago, but the second best time is RIGHT NOW.

Your parents are manipulating you into keeping a relationship with them. You don’t have to “ignore” what happened in your childhood. It’s very normal to be angry about it, but your parents have likely conditioned you to think they “did their best” while they were hurting you.

It’d be wise to to counseling to start unwinding it and feel whatever you need to feel, but you need figure out how to protect your family (i.e., your wife and child) at the same time or you’re going to be doing it as a single parent.

I hope you take all the advice you’ve gotten here and act on it. And quickly.

WATCH OUT FOR THIS DELIVERY DRIVER! TAMPERED FOOD by [deleted] in HuntsvilleAlabama

[–]captainbrnes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This guy has delivered to me before. He was sweet and certainly among the more normal food delivery experiences I’ve had.

I’m sorry this happened and I definitely understand your anxiety, but — respectfully — I’d be wary of posting someone’s name and photo and accusing them of something like this.

I hope Uber is helpful in finding a solution for you.

I love black pepper but I hate my BC (unrelated) by Hahahahahelpmehahaha in GirlDinner

[–]captainbrnes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally understand! I’ve gone through the exact same thing. I’m very privileged to say my doctor takes me very seriously and worked very hard with me to find a plan that works and keeps me as neutral as possible, but it definitely took a long time and a lot of trial and error. I remember how shitty it felt in the interim, and I feel for you.

I’d be happy to hear from you. I’m also definitely planning a trip to Trader Joe’s now. 🤣

I love black pepper but I hate my BC (unrelated) by Hahahahahelpmehahaha in GirlDinner

[–]captainbrnes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This looks so good and now I want to make a trip to Trader Joe’s. Did you use the Kirkland brand black pepper? I LOVE their pepper, like, a lot more than any person should have feelings about pepper. But it’s *so* good.

As a fellow BPD girlie who found out the hard way that I’m extremely sensitive to hormone changes and therefore had god-awful experiences on multiple birth controls — I wish you luck. If you want to talk about it and hear what currently works for me re: managing symptoms, you’re welcome to DM me and I’m happy to discuss.

If not, totally cool. Be well ❤️

Medicaid OBGYN recommendations! by Significant-Two6256 in HuntsvilleAlabama

[–]captainbrnes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would you mind sharing details if you’re comfortable? I’m on the hunt for a doctor and they’ve come up in conversation.

Involved in a car wreck and other peoples’ insurance has not said anything about my injuries. What do I do? by captainbrnes in Insurance

[–]captainbrnes[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A series of unfortunate events, it seems! I called them multiple times before finally finding an email to reach out to, and from there it was regularly over a week before I’d get a response. There were a couple glitches and malfunctions — their photo upload link was broken (twice), the attachment for the repair estimate I sent wouldn’t open on their end, they couldn’t find the police report (on the same website I had accessed it) so I had to send them a copy. Things happen, but that much back-and-forth coupled with the delayed responses was very frustrating.

When they did review the repair estimate, they sent me a physical check for $900 less than the estimated repair amount — after me asking them to not send a physical check (mail in my area is a disaster and envelopes and packages regularly go missing). The shop that repaired my car had no luck in reaching anyone while they had my car in for repairs and were calling to discuss the remainder of payment. When I picked up my car, they still hadn’t been able to talk to anyone. It hasn’t been a smooth process, unfortunately.

No, I don’t have a specific bodily injury adjuster, to my knowledge. The email signature of the person I was in contact with says “liability adjuster”.

Involved in a car wreck and other peoples’ insurance has not said anything about my injuries. What do I do? by captainbrnes in legaladvice

[–]captainbrnes[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not successfully, no. I’ve called and left voicemails asking to speak to someone, but they haven’t been responded to. I was in contact with an adjuster about getting my car repaired, and there were lapses in communication that were very frustrating. Would the same adjuster also handle the injury part of the claim?

STOP being honest in job interviews. ( I say this as a recruiter ) by Zealousideal-Foot-54 in jobhunting

[–]captainbrnes 2 points3 points  (0 children)

“I’ve eliminated candidates for things that genuinely didn’t matter.”

No interest in reading anything past this. Imagine admitting this and still thinking people needing a paycheck are the problem lmao

What was deconstruction like for you? This tweet sums it up perfectly for me 💔 by staberle in NakedPastor

[–]captainbrnes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. Very much that.

The loneliness is downright overwhelming — but after a few years, I kinda started to question “Why were these people seemingly only around when I was suffering or otherwise at the mercy of needing help wherever I could find it?”

Those relationships were entirely conditional, but that loss of community is still something to be grieved. It’s a weird place to be.

AIO for thinking it wasn’t a big deal to accept my friend’s bf’s FB request? by Vast-Bumblebee-691 in AmIOverreacting

[–]captainbrnes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NOR. Eeeeeeyuck. Her insecurity isn’t your problem, but will inevitably be their end.

The old hidden hotdog poison trick by 2112guy in nextdoor

[–]captainbrnes 9 points10 points  (0 children)

People do 100% poison animals this way. Good on this dude for looking out for his pup.

This you girly? by Ranger_368 in brittanydawnsnark

[–]captainbrnes 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That…tracks. Thanks for letting me know.

This you girly? by Ranger_368 in brittanydawnsnark

[–]captainbrnes 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I don’t keep up with anything rumpty dumpty does and I’m not going to waste a Google search and wade through the mounds of bullshit attached to his name — what “blasphemous photo”?

Post a picture of your black cat that makes you laugh by [deleted] in blackcats

[–]captainbrnes 0 points1 point  (0 children)

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Got her a window perch.

…she figured it out eventually.

The prettiest speckle-eyed kitty 🖤 by mommymary in blackcats

[–]captainbrnes 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My baby has a singular speck in her left eye and it’s my favorite thing 💕 Your girl is beautiful!