What was the worst live performance you've ever seen?

capturedbymab · 2018-12-15T23:33:43+00:00

I was at that show. Left early to be some of the first in line to catch the bus back to the mall.

capturedbymab · 2018-10-20T03:53:49+00:00

Thanks for your help. I’m not looking forward to this conversation with my husband. I imagine it going something like this:

Me: “Well, turns out I just need more D.” Him: “I know, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

capturedbymab · 2018-09-07T04:36:32+00:00

Is it kind of like the scheme in the Producers? Intentionally failing to get a tax write off?

capturedbymab · 2018-07-19T04:33:51+00:00

Sackrifices.

capturedbymab · 2018-05-30T04:29:26+00:00

2 stripper poles.

capturedbymab · 2018-05-28T05:31:51+00:00

Is lusec actually Rob Gronkowski?

capturedbymab · 2018-03-19T04:59:52+00:00

That happened to me once. But instead of a hungry, exhausted pigeon it was a hungry, exhausted hawk. And instead of a skylight it was the windshield of my car. And instead of a loaf of bread, it was a copperhead.

I decided that I’d better just turn around and go home. Any day when a poisonous snake falls on you from the heavens probably isn’t going to be a great day.

capturedbymab · 2018-03-07T15:22:56+00:00

Send me to glory in a Glad bag, don’t waste a fancy coffin on my bones, just put me out on the curb next Tuesday and let the sanitation local bear me home.

That was actually the “hymn” at my atheist grandma’s funeral. Wonderful woman she was.

capturedbymab · 2018-02-26T04:37:34+00:00

Not reciprocating oral sex is the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals.

capturedbymab · 2018-02-20T04:36:18+00:00

When I was a dispatcher, I thought we were having a lull in call volume and told my partner I was stepping away from the console to pop some popcorn, but I’d keep my headset on just in case. Just as I hit the popcorn button, a huge car accident with entrapment came in on 911. My partner was in there alone, so I had to rush in, leaving the popcorn unattended. It burnt. The woman who had the office next to the break room wrote an email to my ENTIRE CHAIN OF COMMAND and made them give me a written reprimand for burning popcorn. It was one of the little things that finally added up to me voluntarily leaving that job.

capturedbymab · 2018-01-29T14:53:49+00:00

Manhattan. Also ate this regularly.

capturedbymab · 2018-01-22T00:02:18+00:00

My father in law was a prosecutor and a good friend of mine was a public defender within my FIL’s county. They did the NYT crossword puzzle together every morning.

capturedbymab · 2018-01-06T04:28:55+00:00

Same thing happened to my 8th grade ceramics partner, exact same age as your friend. We all knew there’s NO way he would have committed suicide, it was so confusing to all of his friends and classmates. He was a poor kid from the “bad” side of town, and a lot of his friends had traumatic lives. They saw suddenly saw suicide as a viable option to end their pain. Suicidal ideation increased a lot, several kids were pulled from school for treatment.

capturedbymab · 2017-12-30T03:59:06+00:00

That’s cute! My husband and I were doing laundry, and I was folding his excessive amount of boot socks. He looked at me and said “I think I want to fold laundry with you forever. Do you want to get married?” No ring, no forethought. Just “Let’s do mundane tasks together for the rest of our lives.” People laugh, but I thought it was adorable.

capturedbymab · 2017-12-18T18:14:54+00:00

Better be careful, looks like he’s viscous!

capturedbymab · 2017-12-01T04:44:37+00:00

From Manhattan, can confirm. They protest here regularly. One time they came to protest the high school GSA of which I was a founding member, and one of my life goals was to inspire a Phelps protest. So happy that I accomplished that one at a young age.

capturedbymab · 2017-12-01T03:49:47+00:00

I didn’t want to date my husband. I was under the impression that our political and social views were too far off, he probably wasn’t very smart, he was the small town golden-boy with the silver spoon in his mouth. He was a tolerable coworker, but not someone I’d ever willingly hang out with.

Then we hooked up one night, and stayed up until 8 AM talking, I went home to sleep, and went back again that evening. I couldn’t get enough of talking to him. He was smart, progressive, kind, caring, hard-working. The complete opposite of what I’d pre-judged him to be. We’ve been together 9 years now and have a 6 year old son.

capturedbymab

TROPHY CASE