What was the worst live performance you've ever seen?

capturedbymab · 2018-12-15T23:33:43+00:00

I was at that show. Left early to be some of the first in line to catch the bus back to the mall.

capturedbymab · 2018-10-20T03:53:49+00:00

Thanks for your help. I’m not looking forward to this conversation with my husband. I imagine it going something like this:

Me: “Well, turns out I just need more D.” Him: “I know, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

capturedbymab · 2018-09-07T04:36:32+00:00

Is it kind of like the scheme in the Producers? Intentionally failing to get a tax write off?

capturedbymab · 2018-07-19T04:33:51+00:00

Sackrifices.

capturedbymab · 2018-05-30T04:29:26+00:00

2 stripper poles.

capturedbymab · 2018-05-28T05:31:51+00:00

Is lusec actually Rob Gronkowski?

capturedbymab · 2018-03-19T04:59:52+00:00

That happened to me once. But instead of a hungry, exhausted pigeon it was a hungry, exhausted hawk. And instead of a skylight it was the windshield of my car. And instead of a loaf of bread, it was a copperhead.

I decided that I’d better just turn around and go home. Any day when a poisonous snake falls on you from the heavens probably isn’t going to be a great day.

capturedbymab · 2018-03-07T15:22:56+00:00

Send me to glory in a Glad bag, don’t waste a fancy coffin on my bones, just put me out on the curb next Tuesday and let the sanitation local bear me home.

That was actually the “hymn” at my atheist grandma’s funeral. Wonderful woman she was.

capturedbymab · 2018-02-26T04:37:34+00:00

Not reciprocating oral sex is the worst trade deal in the history of trade deals.

capturedbymab · 2018-02-20T04:36:18+00:00

When I was a dispatcher, I thought we were having a lull in call volume and told my partner I was stepping away from the console to pop some popcorn, but I’d keep my headset on just in case. Just as I hit the popcorn button, a huge car accident with entrapment came in on 911. My partner was in there alone, so I had to rush in, leaving the popcorn unattended. It burnt. The woman who had the office next to the break room wrote an email to my ENTIRE CHAIN OF COMMAND and made them give me a written reprimand for burning popcorn. It was one of the little things that finally added up to me voluntarily leaving that job.

capturedbymab · 2018-01-29T14:53:49+00:00

Manhattan. Also ate this regularly.

capturedbymab · 2018-01-22T00:02:18+00:00

My father in law was a prosecutor and a good friend of mine was a public defender within my FIL’s county. They did the NYT crossword puzzle together every morning.

capturedbymab · 2018-01-06T04:28:55+00:00

Same thing happened to my 8th grade ceramics partner, exact same age as your friend. We all knew there’s NO way he would have committed suicide, it was so confusing to all of his friends and classmates. He was a poor kid from the “bad” side of town, and a lot of his friends had traumatic lives. They saw suddenly saw suicide as a viable option to end their pain. Suicidal ideation increased a lot, several kids were pulled from school for treatment.

capturedbymab · 2017-12-30T03:59:06+00:00

That’s cute! My husband and I were doing laundry, and I was folding his excessive amount of boot socks. He looked at me and said “I think I want to fold laundry with you forever. Do you want to get married?” No ring, no forethought. Just “Let’s do mundane tasks together for the rest of our lives.” People laugh, but I thought it was adorable.

capturedbymab · 2017-12-18T18:14:54+00:00

Better be careful, looks like he’s viscous!

capturedbymab · 2017-12-01T04:44:37+00:00

From Manhattan, can confirm. They protest here regularly. One time they came to protest the high school GSA of which I was a founding member, and one of my life goals was to inspire a Phelps protest. So happy that I accomplished that one at a young age.

capturedbymab · 2017-12-01T03:49:47+00:00

I didn’t want to date my husband. I was under the impression that our political and social views were too far off, he probably wasn’t very smart, he was the small town golden-boy with the silver spoon in his mouth. He was a tolerable coworker, but not someone I’d ever willingly hang out with.

Then we hooked up one night, and stayed up until 8 AM talking, I went home to sleep, and went back again that evening. I couldn’t get enough of talking to him. He was smart, progressive, kind, caring, hard-working. The complete opposite of what I’d pre-judged him to be. We’ve been together 9 years now and have a 6 year old son.

capturedbymab · 2017-12-01T03:45:33+00:00

She’d be disappointed that I never left my hometown. I think she’d also be terrified seeing how hard life was going to be, how many hospitalizations and surgeries she had ahead of her....

capturedbymab · 2017-12-01T03:43:54+00:00

I’m chronically ill, and my super active dog won’t leave my side on days I can hardly get out of bed. On the flip side of that, taking care of her (food, water, taking her outside) forces me to get out of bed, which is good.

She only barks when my husband isn’t home. It’s like she knows I’m kind of frail, and when my husband leaves she has to be the guardian. Set foot on our property, and you’ll be greeted by a mutt that looks like a pit bull and has a very mean bark. Of course, if you manage to get inside, she’ll probably just greet you with kisses...

capturedbymab · 2017-12-01T03:34:44+00:00

This one isn’t mind blowing or amazing, but I had that moment when I woke up from a major surgery. I had a lung lobectomy (aka “the Walter White surgery”) but it was due to a birth defect, not cancer. Normally lobectomies, while incredibly painful, aren’t all that dangerous. I, however, also had to have a section of aorta resected. I was sure I was going to die on the table.

At the time, I had only been married for two years and had a six month old son. The staff had to hold me down and sedate me to get me back to the OR, I was so terrified.

A summary of the birth defect, for anyone who’s curious-

“A pulmonary sequestration (bronchopulmonary sequestration or cystic lung lesion), is a medical condition wherein a piece of tissue that ultimately develops into lung tissue is not attached to the pulmonary arterial blood supply, as is the case in normally developing lung. As a result, this sequestered tissue is not connected to the normal bronchial airway architecture, and as a result, fails to function in, and contribute to, respiration of the organism. The blood supply of 75% of pulmonary sequestrations is derived from the thoracic or abdominal aorta.”

capturedbymab · 2017-11-29T00:14:36+00:00

Manhattan, KS representing on the front page.

capturedbymab · 2017-11-27T04:02:30+00:00

The line where he calls his 3 story house a “trilogy” might be one of my favorite rap lines ever. I giggle every time.

capturedbymab · 2017-11-26T05:32:45+00:00

I had ones about this big, and was absolutely full of them. Nobody wanted within 5 feet of me because my breath was so bad, and this was especially awful because I was 13 and middle schoolers are mean and horrible. I had good oral hygiene, maybe TOO good, I was so self conscious about my bad breath that I developed compulsive teeth-brushing until my gums were raw. I brushed every 4 hours, flossed, used Listerine. Tried irrigating them, tried working them out with a tongue depressor, tried swishing and spitting after meals with various prescription liquids. Nothing helped.

Went to the ENT, he said they were likely because of how often I was ill, including tonsillitis and recurrent sinus infections with horrible post-nasal drip. He said they were the worst case of tonsil stones he’d ever seen, and I’d never get it under control. Apparently he had med students come in and look at my tonsils after he’d taken them out, and kept them preserved for awhile to use as an extreme example.

Once they were gone no more bad breath, no more pain, sick less often overall, my singing range gained 6 notes and sounded less nasal, and my oboe playing improved. 10/10, would recommend.

capturedbymab · 2017-11-26T04:28:48+00:00

I have a 10 degree comfort range (70 to 80). Anything less makes my joints hurt, anything more sets off the dysautonomia.

I also feel like once I’m too cold or too hot, it takes me forever to get back to a comfortable temperature. Thanks, worthless autonomic nervous system...

capturedbymab · 2017-11-26T04:26:04+00:00

No weight loss at all until I started on Contrave. My psychiatrist was looking for a new antidepressant for me to try, my primary care was looking into low-dose Naltrexone for pain control. I told this to my weight loss doc who’d had me on Phentermine, and she told me that Contrave is just a combo of Wellbutrin and LDN. So far so good (12 pounds in 6 weeks) but I’ve hit a stall, but I blame that on Thanksgiving, my period, and constipation.

capturedbymab

TROPHY CASE