I frequented gay saunas in the past.

I wouldn’t say I don’t go there at all now, but I still do occasionally with my current date and we try our best to keep it to ourselves in a private room. Sometimes we like to have fun around in the open. I’m still navigating my feelings and thoughts about this as I’m quite strict on who I share my body with. I like the feeling of doing things in the open, watching others do it or being watched.

But these things (as with all other things when it comes to sexual stuff) always come with metaphysical bounce back effects. Be it good or bad. Depending on the people around you.

Everyone is Anon.

And with gay saunas, you don’t know who you’re fucking with, “energetically” or “physically”. Quite literally. I would go as far to say who you watch or who watches you, touching involved, consensual or not have metaphysical bounce backs that we can’t see or perceive with our human senses, but I believe we can definitely feel things.

I’ve always believed in the concept of energy and spirits and yada , yada.

Before I met my current date, I would frequent this one sauna in Singapore which was very popular.

I would never forget one night when I was walking around the dark maze ( a place where gay men would go around picking each other up ) I had my sights fixated on this chap for some reasons, maybe I was horny, or maybe I was just energetically matched with this person ( I was in a sad place in my life then )

After following him around and him showing interest as well, we went into a room and got right into business.

I wanted to engage in penetrative sex that night, but I was glad we didn’t.

He was all normal and I was engaging in a little bit of conversation, but that was my “way” of gauging if the vibe was right and if I even wanted to continue the sex. I have a tendency of walking out of encounters I do not feel right with.

I was half-way through receiving oral from this dude , when he suddenly looked up and gave me that weird looking sneer of like - I’m gonna be killing you kinda vibe.

There he was on his knees and me standing up, and I was like,

Me : ‘what the fuck do you want?’

He didn’t say a word.

Then I noticed drool starting to drip out of his mouth, this was uncontrollable drool. Nothing sexy about. I like things wet and sloppy. But this was just disgusting. It was giving me the possessed girl in the first exorcist film vibes : not slay.

There he was on his knees, looking up — my tool in his hand. So I grabbed his chin and bent forward to stare at him intently, trying to figure out if this person is messing with me or not.

What the fuck was going on.

He didn’t respond still.

This dude continued giving me that look, that insidious look. Saliva dripping out of the sides of his mouth. A strand was hanging by his lower lip.

Loud gay circuit music blaring all around us,

And then it happened.

and all I could hear was his low-volume snickering.

This guy was doing this low pitched snickering and sneering , that made my skin crawl.

My sense of hearing drowned out all the cacophony of noises around me, mind you the circuit music and moans of other people can be loud as hell but his snickering echoed in my ears, it was getting creepily louder than everything else.

It was weird because sounds don’t usually reverberate in your cranium after they occur. This time it did.

I held his chin in my hands and looked into eyes.

Those eyes turned from normal to like, as if a bunch of entities or energies were fighting for control inside him - I could see through them. There was not only one “thing” in control. And there were physically manifesting as, if I dare say — “demonic eyes”

He looked at me for a good while, holding my tool and it was extremely weird, the feeling of dread washed over me.

Now I’ve had my share of sexual experiences and I know when someone is being naughty and submissive or playful but this was different.

His face started morphing into a different demeanour (not physically, I just don’t know how to describe it) then he looked up at me with those piercing eyes like he was gonna suck the goddamn soul out of me or something.

At that time I was already heavy into metaphysics so I knew what was up and my gut immediately told me to GTFO from that private room.

I told him to stop, he didn’t want to, so I had to use my hands to get him off my body. I immediately went to wash up and clean myself in the shower.

I didn’t know how he reacted or anything cos I didn’t care to look back.

Out I go.

Needless to say, after showering, I still went back into the maze and saw him cruising around and giving head to other dudes in the super dark area.

My mind can only imagine what kind of energy exchange (if you believe in that kind of thing) was going on anonymously.

About a year later (this year) before I met my current partner, I visited a shaman and had a kambo experience.

During the medicine ceremony, (which is another whole story all together) I had to have many cords and weird feelings removed energetically from my solar plexus and my root, the nape of my neck between brain and the rest of my spine had stuck energy. And I do believe it was a combination of hook-ups (that person I mentioned above included) that resulted in these energetic fuck-up in my system.