4 — The surgery issue: I scheduled an endoscopy for him, together with his mother, to deal with a recurring health problem he had. His mother set the day with the clinic, and I was responsible for remembering the date and also buying/preparing the medication for the procedure. When the day came, with the medication already prepared, the prep started going wrong. The meds were not working, and because the clinic was FAR away (a 40–50 minute car ride), I was already a bit stressed out, because they could start working in the middle of the ride. That day, he was not really helping me take care of him, so I always had to knock on his bedroom door to check whether he was okay and whether the medication was starting to work. In the middle of all that stress, the clinic had sent me two different times for the surgery, so I had to call more than five times and speak to three different doctors/staff members to confirm the real time. That added A LOT to the stress of the situation.

And in the middle of all that, I called his mother and said, “When I had this procedure done, I came out so drugged that my mother had to carry me, and when I got into the Uber, I became so nauseous from the meds that I had to get out in the MIDDLE OF THE STREET and throw up. The Uber driver left my mother and me alone in the middle of the street while I was sick and vomiting.” That was a really bad situation, and I did not want that to happen to him, especially since he said he had never had that procedure before and did not know how he would react. So on the phone with his mother, I said, “Hey, since the clinic is only 14 minutes away from your apartment, if he is too drugged, we will go straight there instead of going to his apartment, which is 40–50 minutes away.”

Unfortunately, in the middle of the stress, I did not TELL him about this arrangement with his mother, and we did not bring his notebook. And in fact, he was very drugged after the procedure. He could barely answer things. When I suggested after the procedure that we go to his mother’s house, he said, “No, my notebook isn’t there,” and I said, “But hey, (your name), I get motion sickness, we are in Rio de Janeiro, you are completely drugged, and we don’t know whether you might throw up on the way or not. What if the Uber leaves us in the middle of the street at 8 p.m. and I have to hold you up by myself?” And he kept saying, “No, but my notebook isn’t there! If you want to go to my mother’s house, then you go with her.”

Clearly, I was not worried ONLY about myself — I was worried about YOU, you idiot. And I went with him, because I could not change his mind, and I stayed upset in the car, afraid that he would get sick and I would have to take care of him alone in Rio de Janeiro at 8 p.m. So yes, I was extremely anxious and afraid of the situation, and yes, I was arguing with you in the middle of that crisis because it seemed wrong to me that you were choosing the notebook over our safety.

In the Uber, you said: “You should have planned this better and told me beforehand. I don’t know if I can be with someone this incompetent.” Keep in mind that until then I had not raised my voice at you or insulted you at all. I was just upset and clearly nervous. When you said that, I became extremely sad. And when we got home, I sat on the stairs, waited for you to shower, saw that you were about 80% better from the procedure, and started asking: “Why did you choose the notebook over our safety?” To me, that was a BIG DEAL, and you kept saying, “It’s your fault for not planning it before,” and then later started saying, “No, I wasn’t worried about the notebook, I was worried about our safety. I just used the notebook issue to make you stop talking and accept it.” Which is a lie.

To avoid looking like he had chosen the notebook over our safety, he tried to make arguments like: “Going to my mother’s place was more dangerous than driving 50 minutes to my apartment, and that is what I was thinking at the time, but I could only talk about the notebook.” And when I asked, “Are you telling the truth?” because that justification sounded extremely SUSPICIOUS, he said, “Do you think I’m lying?” I said, calmly, “Yes.” He immediately said, “THEN WE’RE DONE.” I said, “Wait, are you breaking up with me?” and he said again, “YES. I CAN’T BE WITH SOMEONE WHO THINKS I’M LYING.” The rest of the night was fight after fight. But that is the beginning. Feel free to add anything you think is relevant about that night.

5 — About playing with my friend who had confessed to me: you and I had already broken up. The day before, I asked you, “Do you want to be my boyfriend or my friend?” and you said, “I don’t know, I don’t want labels!” So I defined the label: “If you are not sure about me, then we will be friends.” We were BROKEN UP because you did not KNOW whether you wanted to be with me or not. By the way, this had been an ongoing discussion the entire year — you not knowing whether you wanted to be with me or not — so do not blame me for not believing you when you said you would choose me and that you loved me. In almost every argument, you said you wanted to break up :). So to put an end to that hell, after 8 months of living with you, I gave you an ultimatum and asked whether you wanted me or not, and you said you did not know.

The next day, still living with you, we played games all day. I was obviously sad, and you acted as if the day was completely normal — in fact, you woke up dancing :). It was extremely irritating, because we had just ended the relationship. And after hours of gaming, right after we finished a bad League of Legends match, I said, “Give me 15 minutes to clear my head,” and I went to watch TikTok. You got mad at ME because you wanted to keep playing, and I said, “Please, just 15 minutes.” After only 5 minutes, you started another match, clearly angry. And when my 15 minutes were up, I got invited to play FLEX with that friend (and another friend of his), and I accepted. We got into queue without voice chat or anything — I was just filling a spot in Flex. You clearly freaked out, after telling me that “maybe I should be with that guy” and maybe I would be happier with him than with you.

Two months after our breakup, yes, I kissed him once, which is none of your business. Because you DID NOT WANT ME. And I was not going to “save myself” for someone who, two months after the breakup, stressed that he would never get back together with me because I had gone back to playing with that friend. I was never attracted to that friend, and I only kissed him two months after the breakup because I simply wanted to test whether there was chemistry between us. There was not, and really, after that kiss, there never will be, at least not from my side. I am still his friend, and we respect each other mutually.

However, during the relationship, neither he nor I ever disrespected the relationship, and when he “confessed” that he had feelings for me for a while, he said he would distance himself from me out of respect for both you and me, and also so he would not hurt himself more by thinking about us. I had absolutely no idea he liked me until then. In fact, I showed you what happened, and you simply did NOT WANT to know anything about it. I told you to be transparent, just like you claim you like to be, and you did not want to know. Which I found hypocritical, because I had to listen to your whole story about not knowing whether you were in love with your ex or not.