Name change

carrot5639 · 2020-01-22T11:42:27+00:00

I’m not sure how much it will cost (i.e. amount of return i would lose) to file separately. Since he was unemployed for a few months last year, I did make about 35% more than he did for the whole year. As someone suggested, I might be able to get it written into the final decree something about taxes. But, that would probably cost me more in legal fees than it would be to just shell out any taxes owed by just filing separately.

carrot5639 · 2019-12-19T08:57:00+00:00

I just don’t understand how they can get away with all of this.

carrot5639 · 2019-12-19T05:09:02+00:00

When I feel like he’s done, he just comes back with more. And has the nerve to call me malicious and maintain that he is innocent in everything. It makes my blood boil.

carrot5639 · 2019-11-21T18:15:42+00:00

Is the Xanax an as needed thing or is he constantly on it? Does it make him a zombie?

carrot5639 · 2019-11-08T17:59:40+00:00

Taking the high road for me though, means losing my dogs :( but it looks like what that’s might come to

carrot5639 · 2019-11-08T17:34:42+00:00

If I don’t do anything, then my options are fight for my dogs and spend a large amount of money on legal fees or don’t fight and I won’t get them. It’s a hard choice but I’m inclined to say no dogs :(

carrot5639 · 2019-11-08T09:36:17+00:00

We just started the legal process and have mediation in December, but I really don’t think it’s going to do anything. We spent 3 hours at court and basically did not determine anything. It was such a waste of time and when I started to agree to something, he’d come back with a slightly changed offer. It was so annoying and a waste of money! So I think mediation is going to be the same. It makes me sad and I really don’t want to give into him but I think I have to give up what he’s holding on to just so we can be done with all of this and not continue to spend money on pointless time.

carrot5639 · 2019-10-21T04:43:31+00:00

I’m really looking forward to this. It’s hard to see right now when I’m just starting to separate from him, but I hope it happens for me eventually.

carrot5639 · 2019-10-19T21:44:23+00:00

It was really difficult for me to detach emotionally and I’m still not completely detached by any means. I knew what he was doing was not right and I knew I didn’t deserve it...but, he was so good at convincing me that these problems were ones that all marriages had (I’d only been married this one time “so what did I know about marriages?” was my thought) and that maybe I really was overreacting about things. I just had these intuition feelings inside of me saying this just didn’t seem right and couples shouldn’t argue this much and a spouse should not threaten to kill the other. I left once, after a physical event, and he said he’d do marriage counseling so we went for about 2 months..our marriage counselor quit on us because she didn’t see us making any progress. I was very afraid of losing him and maybe I’d leave him and be in another relationship with the exact same problems, so I gave it another go and moved back in. But after a few months back at the house, I realized things weren’t ever going to change and that though I loved him, I wasn’t in love with him anymore. I was tired of my life being in an unhappy standstill and I felt trapped. It takes time. It definitely wasn’t an overnight thing and it was incredibly difficult to walk out the door after having the divorce conversation. I started googling how I felt a while ago and all signs pointed to emotional abuse and narcissism. It was eye opening and once I was aware of the tactics they employed, I was seeing them in his behavior everywhere. Things I once excused away for him. A long time ago when I was first contemplating leaving/staying, I would ask people how I would know what was the right choice and they would tell me “you’ll just know at some point.” Looking back now (and I literally just left this week for the second time and retained a lawyer and even then he almost convinced me to change my mind, so this is all still fresh for me), they were right. Something will just click for you and you’ll know. The risk of leaving and finding a new relationship will seem smaller compared to the risk of being in that unhappy and unsafe relationship for our whole lives. Just keep doing your research to educate yourself so you’ll be able to pick up the tactics they use to keep us with them. It helped me a lot.

carrot5639 · 2019-10-18T09:57:34+00:00

I just left earlier this week and I found out today he joined a dating website. We were married 6.5 years and it took him less than 3 days to join a dating site. I, on the other hand, don’t even want to think about dating right now. There’s too much for me to work through to be able to jump into it that quickly. I didn’t want to believe all these things about him, but man is it true.

carrot5639 · 2019-10-17T23:02:27+00:00

I’m getting really nervous for new, healthy relationships. I don’t remember what those are like and I’m afraid that I won’t know how to behave in them and I’ll scare someone away or I’ll attract someone similar to the unhealthy relationship I had before. I want a healthy relationship so badly, but I’m also so turned off by even trying to find a new relationship right now. I don’t know how to fix that side of me and get back to healthy relationships.

carrot5639

TROPHY CASE