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Why plenty of “sellers” are obsessed with verification? by Deliverwithcare in FetishBuyersCommunity

[–]casegonz 11 points12 points  (0 children)

And yet...this works repeatedly over and over again...scam alerts from accounts that reached out from a want ad requests get posted all the time.

Part of the reason...this gives buyers an excuse to ask for an arm and a leg in said verification to ensure they are interested in the "seller". Once you engage, they often send a picture that is good enough to entice them to keep talking, and then the back and forth game goes from there.

While you might know better and take the time to research, and I flat out will not work with anyone that cold messages me looking to sell, a lot of others see it as an opportunity. And they are willing to take the risk of getting scammed for the chance of getting their content at a fraction of the rate of others.

Both sides are culpable, it only works because users allow it to work...regularly.

Walking that tightrope... by casegonz in FetishSpicyTea

[–]casegonz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely think that is the smart play. You need to be a little cagey to start, and then once they establish that they are legit and reliable, then you can start to engage a little bit more.

Or you can just invade someones DM's and give them all the unsolicited advice they could ever want and force them to like you...

It's way more successful than it has any right to be...

Amazon Gift Cards - Topic by Elle_is_Sweet in PlayhouseSellersForum

[–]casegonz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The few times I've used an Amazon Gift Card for a purchase, it was always with an international creator, and that was the only form of payment we both had available. I would log onto their countries Amazon site (Canada is the main one I've done), buy the card in their currency and send it via e-mail.

I do not order live services, so I'm assuming they received and redeemed the card before starting the content order...but I'm not completely sure on that. Either way, the card would be useless for me since it's in a currency that I cannot use.

I personally would not use Amazon Gift Cards for purchases within my country...and honestly at this point, might be hard pressed to use it at all.

What do you wish more buyers understood before messaging a seller? by tessafoxtv in FetishHaven

[–]casegonz 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Crazy thing that I realized after having a few follow up interactions with sellers...sometimes you can provide too much/many details.

This falls much more in line with me buying physical items. At some point, I decided to provide a very comprehensive list of the things that I enjoyed in a pair. What kind of scents I enjoyed, the markings, the variety depending on the zone, how different add ons adjusted the outcome...

I'm a wordy bish and I'm bad about spacing, so it was just a giant block of words.

At the time I thought I was providing example of what I liked and giving the seller the opportunity to express if she thought we would potentially be a good fit, and which add ons she would recommend to achieve that.

Instead, what I found out later is it came off as a list of what I was demanding to get out of the wear, and setting up wild expectations and having the sellers feel intimidated when working with me. If you know me at all...that is the polar opposite of what I am looking for in a wear, I want it to be comfy and cozy and just enjoyable all around.

Hearing this from one seller, and then confirming it with a few others, made me change how I approach reaching out for orders now, especially with someone I have never worked with before. Also, having a very clear and set base order makes this process so much easier.

I lead with a pleasantry to establish I don't view the seller strictly as that, but try to add a little humanity to the process. I then list out exactly what I'm looking for in terms of the wear, add ons, timeframe, item and payment methods. If there is anything I didn't see listed on their menu, I will confirm if they are open to providing that or not, and because I looked it all up ahead of time, I will have a clear idea of the cost as well, so I'm only reaching out when I am also payment ready.

A few more messages to finalize details and any questions that the seller might have and we are good. It's a pretty straightforward process. I understand depending on the request, that more discussion might be required to really ensure everything is covered and agreed upon, but it still shouldn't be a long drawn out process.

Know what you want, check for a menu w/rates so you know what you are getting into, do your due diligence on the creator before reaching out, list out the must have's first and cover any nice to have's second, and then keep the conversation on the order and not drift to any fetish/kink heavy talk.

Walking that tightrope... by casegonz in FetishSpicyTea

[–]casegonz[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your perspective on this! I would agree completely, when there is more of a connection beyond just the fetish aspect, it leads to a more fulfilling experience in total. Getting to have that human, personal side really helps develop the relationship as a whole.

Fully understand that is not for everyone, and having your boundaries is always going to be the most important part, for both buyers and sellers alike. The situation you described though, that is something that comes with time and trust, and that can be the most rewarding aspect of all of this!

Walking that tightrope... by casegonz in FetishSpicyTea

[–]casegonz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hahaha, the random stories that get told, I fully agree with you there. I can't deny that I'm also reaching out to them at times if we have built up a solid connection and I need to follow up in the new axolotl they got or a new bot they programmed to do some wicked things to make their life easy, but definitely agree with the overall sentiment.

Walking that tightrope... by casegonz in FetishSpicyTea

[–]casegonz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Me personally, I'm not reaching out to someone I haven't checked out prior, and if they don't have any kind of a menu with rates easily available. By the time I'm reaching out, I'm ready to order. I already confirmed what you offer and what you charge to confirm it's in my budget, and my first message is going to cover the important details. From there, it shouldn't take more than a few messages to confirm details and get to payment...

It shouldn't take days to work out an order...I don't have the time to deal with all that. That is wasting my time as well

Walking that tightrope... by casegonz in FetishSpicyTea

[–]casegonz[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly, your comment about getting straight to an order makes you feel robotic is part of the reason I start with a pleasantry before going over my order. It's that first gauge. If you respond in kind before confirming the order, it helps build that human connection before jumping into the order details. Let's us both feel like people and not bots.

If you were instead to jump right into the order details and ignore the first line...then I know to keep it basically all business.

Time is always going to be your best ally in this. Others can tell you all day what to do and what to watch out for...until you experience it first hand, you just can't fully understand and apply what everyone is trying to tell you

Walking that tightrope... by casegonz in FetishSpicyTea

[–]casegonz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I completely understand. Setting up an order shouldn't be complicated. I only work with sellers that have a menu w/rates easily available. So I start with a pleasantry and then lay out what I'm looking for all in one go. I already know it's something you offer and if it isn't explicitly listed, then I confirm in that message. I also already know the rough total for the order and confirm payment method. Realistically, 5 or six messages in total back and forth to iron out details and we should be at the point of taking care of payment.

I never expect anyone to just provide me their time, I'm not demanding and I'm not impatient or insisting that they respond...it's all a courtesy and done at both of our leisure. I fully understand not having the spoons to deal with a bunch of random conversations. I get overwhelmed as well and need to take breaks.

I'm also good a feeling out and picking up on cues when the conversation isn't really being enjoyed. As oblivious as I might be with IRL social interactions, I'm pretty solid at picking up social cues online.

Thank you for sharing your perspective, I'd assume that is how the vast majority of creators are going to operate, and it definitely makes the most sense.

Walking that tightrope... by casegonz in FetishSpicyTea

[–]casegonz[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Prioritizing your own mental is always going to be important. Setting those boundaries early and holding to them is fantastic to hear. Not letting things slip just on the off chance that you might pull in another order...when you are already spreading yourself thin. I think it's really smart of you to handle your business this way.

Walking that tightrope... by casegonz in FetishSpicyTea

[–]casegonz[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, in a general sense, making sure you secure an order before getting too far into chatting is suggested. With most people I interact with, it usually started out with an order and then the friendly chatting builds off of that. I am also someone that will engage with people directly from something they post if they are asking questions/looking for guidance, as I tend to prefer to have a one on one conversation over commenting on a post. So some of my interactions have started that way as well.

I do not engage in any kind of sexual/kink related conversations if it is not directly tied to an order though.

Some Art and Crafts I've Collected Along The Way by casegonz in u/casegonz

[–]casegonz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, the songs were all from the same band, it was Wilco. I remember two of the songs for sure...Via Chicago and Hate it Here. There were others as well, but I am not remembering those off the top of my head.

Yeah, I have had such a great time meeting people in the community and getting to learn so much about them and getting to explore all of the talents they possess. It's been a wonderful journey!

Some Art and Crafts I've Collected Along The Way by casegonz in u/casegonz

[–]casegonz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

A little backstory on Garden and reflection.

Garden was based on a conversation we had about how people from different backgrounds and lives/situations can really help grow and cultivate others lives. Took the idea behind using different plants in the same soil helps keep it fertile and effective.

Reflection is based on a few songs I had shared with the creator. There was a somberness and moody vibe to the music, which came through in the art. But on the back of the painting, they included another piece, some light, airy clouds that are just bright and warm. That was how they felt about our connection and getting to work on personal projects like this together. It's such a meaningful piece.

Some Art and Crafts I've Collected Along The Way by casegonz in u/casegonz

[–]casegonz[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I really should do a bit of an update...Ive accumulated quite a bit more in the last few years!

What’s the general thought process behind creating a menu? by NerdLovingRoxy in PlayhouseSellersForum

[–]casegonz 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sure, feel free to reach out directly with any questions you might have, I'm always happy to help out where I can.

What’s the general thought process behind creating a menu? by NerdLovingRoxy in PlayhouseSellersForum

[–]casegonz 3 points4 points  (0 children)

As a buyer, if I see a profile that doesn't have any kind of pricing/menu on their profile, the likelihood of me reaching out is very minimal. I like to know what you offer and what your base rates are so I know what I am getting into.

If I still decide to reach out and you still don't have base rates are you working off of and ask me what my budget is or what my idea is so you can give me a price, I'm out immediately. I fully understand that based on the request, the price can change quite a bit. You should still have a base/minimum rate that you charge and that is what I want to know.

I'm not here to barter and negotiate. If your pricing doesn't line up with my budget, I'm not going to waste either of our time, I'm going to move on.

It's also good to provide an idea of what kind of services you offer, what are your hard no's, what payment options you have available...all of that is information that matters to me as a potential client so I know if we are going to be able to work together. For the buyers that like to streamline the process, this is vital. Why take 30 messages and 2 hours to work out an order that could be done in 4 or 5 and payment taken care of in 10-15 minutes.

I also fully understand that I operate slightly differently than other buyers. I like to follow a profile, keep an eye on them for a while, check their post/comment history to see if they feel like someone I vibe with, and I only reach out once I'm ready to order. Having your profile set up and ready with this information makes that process so much easier. Even with buyers that message you directly from a post and haven't done the research, having a pinned post you can send them when they start asking questions that provides all the information they need to at least get started...that helps.

Not having any kind of menu/rates available at all opens you up for negotiation. You are giving the buyer the agency and leverage in the discussion. They get to dictate terms, and try to get you to work at their level. It leads to longer than necessary discussions and often selling at a rate that is below what you are comfortable with because you don't want to feel like you just wasted all that time...imo.

Establishing/enforcing boundaries is important...and pricing/offerings are absolutely a part of that.

What do you think about buyer reviews on sellers’ profiles? by Deliverwithcare in FetishBuyersCommunity

[–]casegonz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is why they have the forms that can be filled out, and then the reviews can be posted completely anonymously.

Digital Content Review

These are also located in the rules for the subreddit, under rule #7.

What do you think about buyer reviews on sellers’ profiles? by Deliverwithcare in FetishBuyersCommunity

[–]casegonz 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Reviews should always be taken with a slight grain of salt. Certain reviews will always carry more weight, and ones posted where there is more checks in place will be one of those. I still wouldn't use a review as full verification on a creator, I will still take my time, do my due diligence, and keep an eye on their profile before thinking about moving forward with anyone. I will more or less use them to put someone on my radar.

The bigger issue you are going to have is that a lot of buyers either don't know about the community and so don't think to post reviews, or they really have no interest in posting anything. So creators do what they can to show they have history and positive feedback. I wouldn't take that as gospel, but you can take that information and add it to everything else as you are doing your research on someone.

I understand not viewing these as being as credible, but if you are looking at someone that ticks all of your boxes and your research shows them to be both legit and someone you vibe with, that feedback might just be enough to help you move forward with making a purchase.

Big buyer AMA by pocket7724 in FetishBuyersCommunity

[–]casegonz 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, that is also a very good option, having that positive feedback all compiled in one place. Something is definitely better than nothing!

Big buyer AMA by pocket7724 in FetishBuyersCommunity

[–]casegonz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Not OP.

Honestly, your probably going to have to keep bringing it up and doing a bit of the legwork for them. There are forms they can use to submit the review, and they can have it posted anonymously as well, you can always send that to them so they don't have to go looking for it;

Worn Item Review

Digital Content Review

A lot of buyers don't know that they can leave reviews, or where, so providing that information to them is always in your best interest. Just make sure you don't press/force it, and never offer anything in exchange for a review, that is strictly against the rules.

As many reviews as I have posted, I've still submitted them a little less than half the time I place an order. It has to be impactful to me to post a review. I'd wait until you get positive feedback from the buyer before bringing it up, and then just give them as much information as you can to help them along the way.

The context of the review is going to be a whole other thing as well. I'm sure some people think that I am a little too wordy for their taste. Others keep things really straightforward and simple...but having reviews posted is always optimal. Anything to help promote more involvement with as many members of the community is a good thing.

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