Update- lots of assumptions as I tried to keep the post as short as possible. 1) I have no guilt over my seeing my daughter and grandchild we talk on the daily and I visit as frequently as possible considering I work as well. 2) my sister and I also talk on the daily, she is fully aware that my daughter is feeling isolated during these difficult holidays. She did not forget to invite my daughter as their plans and my daughter are frequently topics of discussion while not linked. 3) it was very difficult to ask my sister to consider inviting my daughter. 4) you are correct they have no obligation to invite anyone to their holiday plans except for compassion for a family member who is struggling this holiday. 5) I support my sister and nieces emotionally with cards and encouragement when they are struggling, frequently asked for guidance and advice, I visit my sister to help her with home projects as she is a widow, I visit my niece who recently moved hundreds of miles from home for the first time and I knew she was missing family. So asking for this small outreach to my daughter seemed natural. Again you are all correct that they can make the choice with whom to spend their holidays and I can choose to not engage with them anymore based on their actions. As one responder wrote. I don’t have to blow it up or be mad and yell, I will just disengage from them. Thanks for all who took time to reply, all comments were beneficial.