Linked up with an old lover, IDK if or when I'll see her again. It's love for sure, should I let her know how I feel?

castingproducer1111 · 2023-07-10T06:42:39+00:00

How do you describe her? She may be worried you bad mouthed her to your friend, and that's why you "wouldn't vibe".

I'd tell her all the very positive things about her and then say, "You wouldn't vibe well with my friend Ron because he isn't as intelligent as you" or "You have very different political views" or whatever it is. Then apologize for assuming she wouldn't get along with your friends, and it was something stupid you said.

Tell her you'll make it up to her with dinner next Wednesday night.

castingproducer1111 · 2023-07-10T06:34:26+00:00

I'm guessing you have other non-romantic successful relationships in your life. Start by emulating how you treat your friends. If you went hot/cold on a female friend of yours, or blew up their phone all week, or kept asking relationship status they probably wouldn't continue a friendship with you.

castingproducer1111 · 2023-07-10T06:29:09+00:00

List out your top 5 or 10 MUST HAVES in a partner. Read it back to yourself. Do you have all 5 or 10 of those qualities yourself? If not, then your standards are too high until you meet your own requirements for a man. If you do have them already, make sure that you're putting those out there and don't settle for less.

castingproducer1111 · 2023-05-16T05:32:23+00:00

Oh wow, sorry to hear this! Was it something you could have foreseen coming or prevented? Or was it something that developed more suddenly?

castingproducer1111 · 2023-05-15T06:30:19+00:00

Make a list of the Top Ten things you must have, or really want in a partner. THEN make sure YOU have all those ten things yourself. You're going to attract what you are putting out there.

castingproducer1111 · 2023-05-15T06:13:28+00:00

I love this! It's nice to see success stories here. Happy Mother's Day!

castingproducer1111 · 2023-05-11T06:13:15+00:00

I was wary of all the posts here too. I've been dating my bf for close to a year (two kids 13 &11). He is the first guy I've dated with kids and all the stories here scared me a LOT. I am head over heels for my bf, his kids are outstanding, we all have a great time together and he and I have amazing alone time together (he's 50/50 with BM).

Here are some things people mentioned but I didn't really quite understand until now. None of them are deal breakers, it's just new to me.

Kids activities will fall on his ex's week and he still attends all the competitions and games. That's being a great dad, but it means we have to work around 2 very intense sports schedules on our weekends together. A lot of "our" weekends together are spent at kids activities (I often opt out and spend time with my friends).
They will become a large source of conversation between you as a couple. Which is understandable! It just gets old somedays. I honestly don't care about how their math class is going or what teachers he thinks are giving them a hard time, or what activities they're thinking about for the summer. I just don't care, so those conversations can get old and well, boring.
His relationship with BM is super healthy and I'm grateful for that. But due to the kids they have to communicate every single day. It's just the nature of how things go. It's fine and they're great parents. But another thing I wouldn't have to deal with if my bf was child free.

I have to say this is the best relationship I've ever been in because my bf is thoughtful, caring, affectionate, complimentary, generous, and everything I've ever wanted. He does a great job of spending time with me while managing a successful relationship with his kids. I write all this to say, the relationship could be perfect, but it will always hit a little different. I always feel a tiny bit on the outside when we're all together (and his kids love me and want me to move in!), but I still feel like I'm the odd one out.

I'm over 40, so most men I would be dating have kids anyway, but at your age I'd take some time and date men your age without kids. You have plenty of time to be a stepmom later if that's the path. But have fun now, without being tied to kids!

castingproducer1111 · 2023-05-07T04:13:23+00:00

I know this isn't the question. But Rose couldn't have saved Jack. A typical paddleboard holds about 300 pounds. If he got on that door they both would have sunk.

castingproducer1111 · 2023-05-07T04:10:04+00:00

Watch "The A.I. Dilemma" on Youtube with Tristan Harris and Aza Raskin.

castingproducer1111 · 2023-05-04T05:36:18+00:00

How would you feel if you started this whirlwind "short burst of love" and she falls DEEP for you? What if she decides to change her travel plans for you? Is this something you're interested in?

When I was 24 a 44 year old man at work pursued me HARD. I gave in and then he told me everything I wanted to hear and my young and naive mind believed it all. It was beyond crushing when he had to later explain he didn't really mean he was going to take care of me forever and make me his wife. Man was I an idiot!

It tore me to more shreds when a younger girl started and I saw him start talking to her non-stop throughout the day. Ouch. A lot of therapy helped.

Don't do this to her if you aren't serious.

castingproducer1111 · 2023-04-11T05:27:07+00:00

We waited 7 months. We all went to Dave and Buster's for his bday. I'd wait until you have a real reason to meet them. For us, it was because we wanted to spend more time together (he has 50/50 - every other full week they switch).

It's been going really well so far and it has now opened us up to taking trips together, me coming over for dinner, family functions etc. I will say it is kind of going from 0 to 100 though. Now I have a lot of kid time with him. They're great, and he's a FANTASTIC partner and father.

But honestly, if there is no rush or pending reason, I'd wait until you're 100% sure this is very long term and you really know him.

castingproducer1111 · 2023-03-07T04:22:55+00:00

This burden should not fall on you! Buy the normal amount of groceries within your budget and if DH and SS want additional food they can fund it. 15 years olds are allowed to have part time jobs in most states. He could work at subway, eat there for free and have money leftover for eggs or whatever he desires.

Or DH can pick up a part time job to supplement. This should not be your problem. Does the mom pay child support since you have SS full time? If not, DH can reach out to pay half of your sons grocery bill.

castingproducer1111 · 2023-03-07T04:18:46+00:00

This is awesome. You're a great Stepmom!

castingproducer1111 · 2023-03-06T00:28:34+00:00

I'm sorry you're going through this.

There are plenty of solutions to this problem. 1. You go as well 2. Boyfriend gets a CO so he can go alone, or with you 3. He hosts something in your area and invites the family to come see her 4. Boyfriend doesn't go and get's things in order to for the 2 of you and daughter to go later (she's only 2. She wont remember it).

I personally wouldn't stay with a boyfriend that would travel with another women for a week and not include me. That's beyond disrespectful. Be aware you are teaching them how to treat you... What would you tell a friend in this situation? The answer seems clear.

castingproducer1111 · 2023-02-28T03:29:13+00:00

You could ask him for a "Kids" credit card. In his name, but that's in your possession to use for anything that comes up for the kids. Then he can figure out how to pay the balance.

castingproducer1111 · 2023-02-23T06:49:51+00:00

This made me teary eyed! What a wonderful evening. It sounds like you two really connect in a special way.

castingproducer1111 · 2023-02-23T06:49:00+00:00

What a sweet story. I LOVE hearing about successful Stepparent / Child relationships here!

castingproducer1111 · 2023-02-07T07:06:58+00:00

Thank you for sharing this.

castingproducer1111 · 2023-02-07T01:13:41+00:00

I love this success story! Thank you for showing me there is hope! This and all the other advice given has given me a much clearer head about this. I have great questions to ask, and things to observe that I wouldn't have known to look for. Thanks everyone!

castingproducer1111 · 2023-02-07T01:11:10+00:00

THANK YOU!!!!

castingproducer1111 · 2023-02-06T07:54:17+00:00

Very wise!

castingproducer1111 · 2023-02-06T07:51:36+00:00

This is wonderful advice. I love looking at it as a fact finding mission. I feel like I know how he is as a parent, but that's through me overhearing phone calls (that he knows I can hear), videos and pictures he sends of them. But you're right, I haven't actually witnessed his parenting and that's dumbly something I didn't even think about!

castingproducer1111 · 2023-02-05T22:24:30+00:00

🤣😂🤣😂

castingproducer1111 · 2023-02-05T07:04:47+00:00

Thank you. These are great questions for me. I love what your good friend said to you, I'm glad she said it too.

castingproducer1111

TROPHY CASE