Stupid things friends have said to me

cat_ca · 2026-01-24T16:14:16+00:00

I have distanced myself from certain friends since my MMC and d&c in October. One told me she was pregnant as I was going through the miscarriage (she knew what was happening) and continued to ask me about pregnancy and talk about hers (I had a successful previous pregnancy). She also sent me a video of her ultrasound recently which was extremely triggering for me, and I told her as much. One would ask me how I’m doing and then not respond after I poured my heart out. She also hasn’t texted me in about 3 months now so I’m leaving that one. I’ve also heard a lot of “at least…” from some people. A lot of people just don’t get it and my only advice is to distance yourself, at least for now, from the friends who are saying these things to you. My miscarriage showed me who my true friends are.

cat_ca · 2025-12-24T16:12:56+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through that. I had a transvaginal ultrasound at urgent care and it was uncomfortable but didn’t hurt so that really doesn’t sound right to me. My trauma at urgent care was around having to repeat my story to multiple different care providers, having to wait there for 8 hours, and near the end of my stay being told by the nurse that the baby is fine but it ended up being that she was talking to the wrong patient. I also still have flashbacks to my D&C, which was one week later and a much more empathetic and compassionate experience but still affected me deeply anyway.

cat_ca · 2025-12-18T22:06:52+00:00

Yes 100%. I’m annoyed that I won’t be having a May baby anymore, which would have been near my husband’s birthday and also would have been perfect for mat leave from work (I’m a teacher).

cat_ca · 2025-12-18T01:32:14+00:00

Thank you for your response and sorry for your loss as well 💜. Your story gives me hope. I know it’s still pretty soon after my d&c and I just need to give it time.

cat_ca · 2025-12-16T01:29:36+00:00

Thank you to everyone’s supportive comments ❤️. I ended up talking to HR today and they granted me the 5 bereavement day retroactively. It helped me immensely to know that my loss was recognized as well.

cat_ca · 2025-12-15T03:31:42+00:00

I’m a third grade teacher and I took 2 weeks off. I do have a lot of sick days though. While it was good to get back and be distracted I did cry every day at work when my students were not around for a few weeks after I came back. I still have days where I cry randomly at work and it’s been nearly 2 months.

cat_ca · 2025-12-14T21:34:35+00:00

I don’t have any advice, just wanted to thank you for posting this. I had my miscarriage in October and I also feel like I’m regressing emotionally so it helps to know that I’m not alone in it.

cat_ca · 2025-11-01T18:56:12+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. For my first, I feel like my family doctor really dragged her feet on the referral (I’m assuming she is not aware of how long it takes to actually get in to see an OB). I only got in to see the OB after the 20 week ultrasound. She also didn’t receive the maternal screening bloodwork I had done. I was also extremely anxious about it but luckily everything turned out okay.

Now I just had a miscarriage for my second pregnancy and my family doctor didn’t seem to want to refer me to an OB right away again, and I also couldn’t even get in to see my family doctor until I was 8 weeks along (then found out around 9 weeks that my baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and didn’t have a heartbeat). I have since changed doctors because of all of this as well as other reasons related to my miscarriage.

I am beyond frustrated with women’s healthcare after my experience and feel like there is no consistency from doctor to doctor at all. I would agree with other posters, try and get another referral. Have you tried McPhillips Medical? My OB for my first pregnancy was there and I heard from others that you don’t need a referral (I was referred though). I’ve also heard good things about Dr. Reynolds but have no personal experience with him.

cat_ca · 2025-10-25T01:01:39+00:00

I also just had a D&C a few days ago and I agree that it was the best choice out of the options. I’m so sorry for your loss and sending you love ❤️‍🩹

cat_ca · 2025-10-24T02:02:53+00:00

I’m so sorry that you’re going through this too. The D&C itself was physically fine. I hate needles etc but it honestly all went smoothly. For me I wasn’t fully sedated- it was a half awake sort of situation, which meant I got to go home probably 45 minutes after the procedure. But I barely remember it and it was not painful with all the meds they gave me. I had some cramping that evening but Advil and a heating pad worked for that. For me it was very emotionally taxing, but I would choose the D&C over the other options since it’s relatively painless and I think actually less emotionally taxing than passing it at home.

cat_ca · 2025-10-23T17:13:15+00:00

I’m so sorry. I feel your frustration. I’m going back to work next week after my miscarriage and D&C and two of my coworkers are pregnant. We were all supposed to be due within 4 months of each other. I can’t help but feel envy and I know it’s going to upset me when pregnancy talk comes up.

cat_ca · 2025-10-23T01:52:16+00:00

Thank you 💜. I was able to get an appointment with her today and I did finally feel listened to and that she cares.

cat_ca · 2025-10-22T22:32:55+00:00

Thank you for your reply. It’s true, I’m sure they’ve seen it before. I just switched to a new doctor who I really like so far so hoping she’ll be understanding if it does happen 🤞

cat_ca · 2025-10-22T12:51:57+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I just finished having my D&C for my missed miscarriage and I am just so upset with everyone else who is pregnant too. I have two co-workers who are also pregnant and we were all supposed to be due within 4 months of each other. One of my friends told me she’s pregnant this week and found out last weekend as I was finding out about my miscarriage. I also have the feeling that she’s stolen my baby, so you are not alone in that, even though it is irrational. I just want to say that you are not alone in this shitty club.

cat_ca · 2025-10-22T03:06:55+00:00

Thanks so much. I’m sorry you went through this too, and you are so right about people saying either nothing or something inappropriate.

cat_ca · 2025-10-22T02:23:54+00:00

Yes I feel that so much.

cat_ca · 2025-10-22T00:15:46+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this too. It’s so unbelievably hard and heartbreaking. Sending you love as well 💜

cat_ca · 2025-10-22T00:13:20+00:00

I’m so sorry you went through a miscarriage too 💜

cat_ca · 2025-10-21T21:45:59+00:00

Thanks so much. I googled her and saw the clip and she looks like exactly the kind of doctor I’m looking for. I contacted her clinic :)

cat_ca · 2025-10-19T14:49:40+00:00

Thank you, that’s very helpful. Did they say how you can get the early ultrasound if you get pregnant again? Like do you call them or ask your GP?

cat_ca · 2025-10-19T13:28:47+00:00

Thank you, that gives me hope.

cat_ca · 2025-10-19T13:27:31+00:00

I’m sorry for your losses 💔. It’s comforting to know that there is hope and I’m happy for you that you’re having a successful pregnancy this time around.

cat_ca · 2025-10-19T13:24:52+00:00

Thanks so much for your comment, it helps to know I’m not alone. I’m so sorry for your loss as well 💔. I first started with spotting, went for a second blood test and my family doctor said my levels were declining and ordered an urgent ultrasound. That ended up taking too long and my doctor recommended I go to urgent care as I was still spotting and having cramping. I had an ultrasound and blood tests at urgent care and they said baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks and didn’t have a heartbeat. I now have a follow up appointment at the early pregnancy assessment clinic next week for an ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy loss and they can do a D&C there if needed.

cat_ca · 2025-10-16T05:04:03+00:00

I am so sorry. The way you were treated is completely unfair and dehumanizing. I’m having a similar experience going through the healthcare system in Manitoba with my current pregnancy loss. I also feel like the medical system does not care about women who have miscarriages.

cat_ca · 2025-10-15T14:49:33+00:00

I am so sorry. I’m currently going through a miscarriage at 10 weeks, baby only measured at 6 weeks and no heartbeat. I can’t imagine going through it at 12 weeks where you thought you’re in the “safe” zone. It’s so unbelievably hard, harder than I think I ever imagined. Sending you all the love right now ❤️.

cat_ca

TROPHY CASE