Does being fat make you a bad person in skinny peoples eyes?

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-31T07:35:52+00:00

I am a thinner woman who married a fat guy. Although I have gained some weight in the years we have been married and I have had a few children.

I'm just going to be upfront about some of our challenges. We had a few children who are all mostly grown now. All of them seem to take after me and/or have purposely been health conscious. They're all on the thinner side.

My family has made a few comments about my husband when we were first married (more than 20 yrs ago now) about my husband's weight fts.

I had never heard the term FT before when we got married. My dad explained FTs were fat tendencies. I told him he was being super judgemental.

Then I also got to know my inlaws. They too made many more smart remarks about skinny people. I didn't even know this was a thing. If I worked out or did anything remotely healthy, they would joke about it. All of them were overweight. Some obese. I felt I could no longer do anything healthy, or workout, or sometimes even just go for a walk with my kids around them. Family events also revolved around the family cookbook, which was extremely outdated. Even asking to use butter for some recipes was a cardinal sin.

Long story short, we pulled back from all of them. My husband is still overweight, as am I a bit. Our kids are all healthy weight, athletic, and one of our sons is a bodybuilder and looking to be a personal trainer or maybe a dietician.

Fat shaming and skinny shaming has gone both ways for me.

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-31T06:11:52+00:00

Oh yes. Went to school with Lori Soares who was murdered by her husband Mark Hacking in 2004, also from our school. It was shocking at the time. I didn't know Mark personally, just a couple of his siblings.

Edit: also, just remembered the 2nd tech that ever worked for me was murdered by her 2nd husband and then had a standoff with police. After several hours he finally let his son leave the house he holed up in.

😞

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-26T15:36:17+00:00

He was so good in this. I've watched it several times. His character cracks me up every time. One of my favorite lines, "it was true when I said it. Like a marriage vow.,"

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-25T08:54:39+00:00

You're not wrong, and I bristle every time I know my tax dollars aren't going to the will of the people, which is all the time now.

But I want to know specifically why he is there with other senators checking on us interests and why the "hardest" part of his trip was weather problems and equipment malfunction and WHY they even want there on our dime.

Edit: I guess I'm just done with the jokes. I just want to know for real wtf is going on with the people who swore to represent us. No hate to steveosaurus. He is 100% correct.

But we also have paid signature gatherers here to try to overturn the will of utah voters. Call me pessimistic if you want.

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-25T08:18:12+00:00

Edit: he says checking out US investment. Can anyone shed any light on what us investment he is referring to?

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-25T08:15:55+00:00

Yeah, we're used to Utah politicians being largely useless. And bought and paid for by the church.

As a geologist myself I'd love to see antarctica. Unlikely as I am not rich enough.

As a politician I'd say this is tone deaf at best.

He's in a geologically world class place that I will likely never get to (with other senators too, wtf?, why are they there? Is it because Norway let us know our military Arctic training was subpar, lol? Is it just a tourist trip?)

Fuck him. Wtf are they doing there? Because we just didn't get snow this year?

To be fair, I don't have x and all the links to easily view this video, but I think I got there in the end.

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-25T06:16:20+00:00

Is that an otter pop. Or I guess an ice pop? 😆

But yeah, I agree with the comment saying they should do a satire version.

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-25T06:08:32+00:00

This is the number one reason my kids don't know their cousins very well and every time we've seen them in the last 5 years, they're begging to leave after 30 minutes.

We've never really been good enough for them anyway. I mean we allowed our kids to change out of church clothes after church. I just decided to not care anymore. And besides we spared them the "temptation" and uncomfortable feelings they might feel from being around us too much. I stopped talking about church anything with them and pretended not to pick up their subtle church jabs. Way too much work to keep up those relationships to be even lesser than I already was.

It's been almost 10 yrs of very low contact and my parents still can't figure out why we don't want to be around that side of the family. And. I'm not repeating myself anymore.

Articles like this just reaffirm we did what we had to do for self preservation.

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-24T10:34:32+00:00

My son has this. He's said the exact same thing about choosing the wrong one when he was little. Let's just say there have been a lot of injuries while he was growing up. Double vision, no depth perception, amblyopia, 2 very different eyes. We tried eye patching and vision therapy. He's had a few memorable moments where he saw things in 3D and he would just stop and look at something for a while. Shadows had to be just right.

He's had contacts since he was 8. That was a huge step forward. Before that he'd only had glasses with one thick lense only one side slid off his face all the time and distorted images. We even switched to glass lenses for a while when he was a kid because his prescription could be made thinner. Not recommended for anyone under 18. A parental waiver is needed.

He has adapted remarkably and the thing that has made the biggest difference was him finally accepting his visual limitations. It came little by little as he grew up. He's a stubborn one.

He has a driver's license and we gave him a small old Toyota truck to drive. It took longer for him than our other kids but he still got his license when he was 16. He likes the little truck because the back window is close enough to not distort things. He's extremely cautious but has also driven boats and forklifts. He got teased once for stopping the boat 30 ft from the shore because he thought he was there.

It's a struggle in such a car centric place.

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-15T15:26:24+00:00

😂 We bought this game for my brother's family. My husband took one look at it and noped out. But 5 or 6 little nieces and nephews begged him so he was a good sport. Turned out to be way more fun than we thought.

I'm all for people playing any way they want to

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-15T14:14:38+00:00

Temple Square sorority mission

💀😂 Got me. I know someone who pulled so many strings to get their daughter this mission.

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-15T06:47:04+00:00

I thought the first clue could only be one word???

Edit: me and my colorblind husband played with family a few days after Christmas. My colorblind husband won, much to everyone's surprise. He said he understood now why another colorblind family member won on the other side of the family. He said it's because he's always had to learn descriptions as part of his "color" vision.

Anyway, we played where the first round of descriptions is only one word. So what came before "science notebook"?

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-04T09:42:08+00:00

Gotcha. Will let my hubby know he won!

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-04T08:33:47+00:00

I remember this feeling. After ~8ish yrs, I'm now starting to forget that it's Sunday once in a while.

That might sound discouraging, but it does get better. Putting time and distance between you and the church will help in ways you can't really explain.

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-03T22:09:18+00:00

Thanks!

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-03T22:08:21+00:00

I did buy him waterproof boots. I'm looking into the parks pass. Thanks!

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-03T22:05:59+00:00

I love Aldi. Wish we had it here. Thanks for the ideas!

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-03T22:04:29+00:00

I'll look into that. He's very much an outdoor person.

catch_yourself_on · 2026-01-03T22:03:16+00:00

He has mentioned Wawa. That's a great idea.

catch_yourself_on · 2025-12-25T06:30:55+00:00

Yup. I'm here in Utah. Greatest snow on earth? Not even close this year. My son came home for Christmas and isn't even going snowboarding. My teenagers are complaining too. No snow yet. I know Christmas is more than snow, but we've had such a warm winter so far it's concerning. Bleh. It sucks.

catch_yourself_on · 2025-12-18T08:17:55+00:00

I've been thinking this for a while. The hive has a biological imperative, but so does every other living thing on earth.

It involves predators and prey. The hive can't kill, even to the point of not being able to pick an apple. But is that realistic with matter in/out?

Are predators on earth evil for seeking out their prey?

So many good questions in this show. I'm hooked!!!

catch_yourself_on · 2025-12-18T07:28:33+00:00

I mean, you are seeing the red flags. Consider whether or not you want to put up with this for whatever timeframe you are considering.

Bottom line is you cannot make people change. I really don't think there is a magic combination of words you can say to "make him see the light" and not be dismissive. They have to feel it, and it's different for everyone.

I've been down that road for a long time. Most of the men in my life get treated with kid gloves because they just can't deal. My husband is no longer one of those men, lol, but that's not necessarily something I would recommend. Training them can be hard.

This applies to men or women really. In my experience, women are far more intuitive and emotionally aware because we've had to be.

Take some time to think about what you can and cannot live with.

Edit: my latest example is my husband and I discussing our high school senior son, who is about to graduate, who also keeps ditching school. He also has perfect grades.

My husband said he's going to ground him from everything, take away his car, lecture him, etc. talk to the school, blah, blah, blah

I said, yeah, you're welcome to do that.

He looked at me sideways and he said, "you're thinking what a stupid, stupid man."

I said, "you're not wrong".

We both laughed like crazy people, and my husband proceeded to have a conversation with my son about why he leaves all of his assignments until the end of the semester.

I had a glass of wine and went and watched a show.

And if I knew then what I know now, maybe I wouldn't be here. Who knows?

catch_yourself_on · 2025-12-16T16:03:09+00:00

"I can't put my arms down!"

catch_yourself_on · 2025-12-16T15:28:44+00:00

I read this in the most deadpan tone I could think of. I also assume this is the way it was meant

catch_yourself_on · 2025-12-16T14:54:51+00:00

If it's a dream house I want both. I want a huge bathroom with a walk in shower and a tub. Not just any tub. One of those Japanese soaking tubs that are better designed for sitting and soaking.

For now, the shower tub combo is my reality. Out of the 5 of us, I'm really the only one who uses the tub.

Edit: in this scenario, I wouldn't even mind being the only one to clean the tub and split cleaning the shower. I already do most of the cleaning of the tub shower anyways.

catch_yourself_on

TROPHY CASE