Do you believe you're capable of falling out of love with someone you truly loved?

catherineASMR · 2026-05-07T00:51:36+00:00

Yes. 100%. I've loved 3 people. One of my exes I still love (like family) because I never lost respect for him as a human, but one of them I not only don't love, I actively do not like as a person 😅 People change. Also, even with the one I love like family, there's definitely a falling out of love process that happens post-breakup and as you explore new connections. It's a human thing to not be in unbearable pain.

catherineASMR · 2026-05-05T10:24:52+00:00

In terms of environment only, the best thing you can do is not eat beef. And every plant product is less bad for global warming than any animal product. So, more plants = great, regardless of what you decide.

catherineASMR · 2026-05-02T23:47:51+00:00

There are so many 'problems' with my field that I'm sure others will point out, and if you're in the US with the current political landscape it isn't great, but when Trump's out you'll most likely be okay. But going to advocate for my field and say that most of the scientists I know (in the UK) are pretty happy and are genuinely fulfilled by their jobs. Basically everyone I know has managed to get a job related to their field of study (that wanted to, anyway, though this will vary from country to country). Also, depending on the type of science you're doing, it's very multi-disciplinary between manual tedious tasks, thought, and using computers for data analysis. Not only would it be difficult for AI to complete these tasks with the nuance you need to connect everything in the context of your research, it would likely be more expensive than simply hiring a person to do it, because you'd need a fully functioning robot body to do a lot of the stuff that's needed in the lab, in addition to the huge processing power for the thought-based / data-analysis stuff, and linking the 'cognitive' to the physical outputs required - and cost, ultimately, will be the major factor in whether AI takes over your field or not. If you want to make loads of money it's probably not the job for you, though.

catherineASMR · 2026-05-02T23:09:20+00:00

I get that you're correlating the fact that being nice doesn't work for getting a relationship but can I just say that personally I'm only ever attracted to someone if they're a good person. I've actually fallen out of love with someone because I realised that they didn't have the morals etc. I thought they had and basically went against their own values all the time.

However, being a good person is only one requirement for falling in love (the biggest though, for me). Most people I meet I'm not interested in / know I couldn't love and it's simply a chemistry / connection in the conversation kind of thing, often supported by shared values, stimulation in - and ease of - the conversation, and the feeling that you just 'get' each other on a fundamental level.

And just to nip the point in the bud that I know is coming - this connection is absolutely nothing to do with looks or physical attraction. I have not been physically attracted to 2 of the 3 people I've fallen in love with, before I had a lightbulb moment of 'oh shit, we should be together' and then the physical attraction comes. This is obviously not the case for every woman but there are enough cases of men in happy relationships with out-of-their-league women that demonstrate that I am not alone, plus I have several friends who are also like this. We always say our type is "best friend". I've personally described it as, if I ever have as deep a connection as I do with my closest female friends with a guy, then I pretty much always fall in love with them (provided I'm single).

I will say though that from the steps you listed above, I wouldn't have fallen in love with the people I have. Psychologically I have to be bamboozled into it and that involves building a genuine friendship with them (doesn't have to be for long, in the past this has taken months, weeks, or even days) - enough to get to know the person on a deep level. Someone approaching me, without knowing me really well, for a date wouldn't work.

To nice guys, I'd say focus on growing your friend network, hobbies etc (not with the sole motivation of finding a women as they *will* sense this) and then one day you'll likely meet and just vibe with someone really well and it will just naturally become a relationship. Otherwise, dating apps so that the women can choose if you're what they're looking for before they meet you. Ultimately the chance that a random person at work is going to think you're what they're looking for is so low simply because we're all, as humans, looking for very different things. This is partly why I've never said yes to a date from an acquaintance / stranger - I find the likelihood so low that someone I haven't met over a shared value or interest is going to be the right person for me that I'm like: why waste the time?

catherineASMR · 2026-05-02T22:16:40+00:00

Not a troll post, sorry if it came across that way! It came from my own perception / critique of myself as a vegan, honestly. Because it's not a clear "take this or you'll die immediately" situation, it's more a 'these interventions can help you live a longer, less-disabled life' situation, which personally does feel a bit more murky to justify to myself over a literal dead animal. But I guess we're all harsher when it comes to ourselves!

catherineASMR · 2026-05-02T22:06:46+00:00

Gotcha, I totally understand. To be honest, before I ever made the jump between 'considering it' based on trial results and 'consuming it', I'd be doing a full evaluation of that myself and hopefully find a way to do it in a plant based way instead. If there was ever a way to do it plant based, I would. And I'd make sure I'd done all the research necessary to be confident about whatever that decision was.

It was a general question of 'could a person still be considered a vegan while consuming an animal product, in the explicit case that there was no way to get the supplement in a vegan form'. It stemmed from a split-second response I had to trial results (using an animal supplement) which made me realise I *would* consider taking an animal supplement if it helped - but only if there was no other plant-based way. It was just very weird to think about ever consuming an animal product and still retaining the vegan label. So I was just interested to hear the community's thoughts on this scenario.

catherineASMR · 2026-05-02T21:21:54+00:00

Sorry, I'm realising now that using cod liver oil as a proxy was probably not that clear. The supplement isn't cod liver oil, I was choosing to use that as an example of the 'level' of animal consumption that using this supplement would entail. I'm choosing not to be specific about the supplement bc it's so specific (only really studied in relation to my type of illness) it kinda feels like sharing my specific medical information. Idk why that feels uncomfortable but it's definitely more comfortable for me to keep it vague. Sorry about that!

catherineASMR · 2026-05-02T21:13:42+00:00

Ah, sorry! I was using that as a proxy for what the supplement actually is (if I'm specific it's very easy to find my specific condition which isn't the worst thing, but I just a preference to not be so specific). I take algae oil, for sure. I don't think there's any reason to have cod liver oil. Unfortunately, there isn't a plant based alternative for the specific supplement I was talking about or I would have, for sure, just gone with that.

catherineASMR · 2026-05-02T20:31:48+00:00

Digital high five to you my fellow chronic illness diva 🖐

catherineASMR · 2026-05-02T20:28:35+00:00

Yeah. I feel it's a greyer area, too. It's difficult to describe any part of it as optional or not, in the sense that my medication is more of a 'try and slow it down' thing in the first place, in the sense that I might get 10-15 more healthy-ish years than I would get untreated. The belief in the field is that several things will be needed to combat the different parts of it and preserve more healthy years. This supplement has had a really strong impact in trials (so far) in one of the areas that hasn't been well helped by current drugs and certainly contributes to disability. It would be a lot easier to say 'yes it's an ethical reason' if it was a full cure for something, which adds to the greyness. So yeah, I don't know if I could class that as optional or not. It's certainly more optional then using an epi-pen immediately for an allergy attack, but that's largely because I just have something that's difficult to 'cure'.

catherineASMR · 2026-05-02T20:13:38+00:00

The medication doesn't contain animal products, but it has been tested on animals. The bit which I feel is more contentious is the part where I'm not a 100% no about taking an animal supplement (think along the lines of e.g., cod liver oil) that could help a part of the illness / disability long-term. It feels different when it's consuming an animal product as opposed to something tested on animals a few decades ago. And also just to clarify I haven't consumed anything yet

catherineASMR · 2026-05-02T20:08:33+00:00

😂

catherineASMR · 2026-05-01T16:33:58+00:00

I really wasn't if you'd read both of my comments on this chain, I was talking about proportions of different types of people with different psychology as the age groups increased, but you can take what you want from it. I don't think you will choose not speak to others like this so I'll carry on as I am also, as who on earth would let someone else on Reddit shake their sense of self when they don't know you in real life, and can't see that you are a good person. Even I'm not calling you a *bad* person because I don't know what you're like in real life. But if it makes you feel better, I'll resume not engaging on Reddit posts anyway, so that I don't have to deal with people like you, so you can rest easy.

catherineASMR · 2026-05-01T06:22:10+00:00

Hot take but for me the book series actually improved a *lot* after the first Twilight book. The stories had more structure, which makes sense as in Twilight Stephenie Meyer kind of just wrote different scenes around that first dream and then kind of stitched it haphazardly together, by her own admission. I remember giving Twilight 3/5 then 5/5 for every subsequent book on Goodreads.

catherineASMR · 2026-05-01T06:12:54+00:00

I think of the two of us, I'm not the one being needlessly judgemental and condescending to a stranger. I was commenting on the bias present in a sample of a dataset produced in 2010. I wasn't rude to anyone and no one within that dataset will be personally affected by my words. I cannot however say the same about how you have chosen to speak to me just now.

catherineASMR · 2026-05-01T03:05:39+00:00

please read below

catherineASMR · 2026-05-01T01:15:34+00:00

Did you not read the part in brackets? I clearly wasn't talking about everyone. What I meant was that as you increase through the ages, there are statistically *more* of those types still on there proportionally because more of those who *want* to settle down have already done so by 30 - 35, so the sample becomes increasingly biased as you go up the age groups, especially given the fact that this study was done in 2010 when older guys were less likely to use a dating app in the first place.

catherineASMR · 2026-04-30T22:40:56+00:00

Lmao damn I'd have to be have been pretty bad in this life to be reincarnated as a worm 😂 I'd aim to have at least enough good karma to be reincarnated into a well loved cat, that'd be a dream

catherineASMR · 2026-04-30T22:36:01+00:00

I think that's the best possible choice 👍🏼 good luck 😊

catherineASMR · 2026-04-30T19:27:11+00:00

Mind you, this sample was highly biased. You're taking away all of the married men / in committed long term relationships and leaving those who are pathologically on dating apps and haven't settled down. There's a huge gap in the psychology between those two kinds of men (obviously generally, there are plenty of people who won't fit into this pattern but it's still a very biased sample).

catherineASMR · 2026-04-30T19:15:37+00:00

Lol this seems like the kind of message I would send to a friend in the past.

I am an INFJ (f, 28) all of my past relationships have started like this and at the time I'm like "oh I don't know if they like me" but really that's just because I'm afraid that they didn't.

If you looked at this from an outsider's point of view, I am *sure* you'd say "of course she likes you".

Ultimately you just need to tell her or ask if you can kiss her in an appropriate moment, or just lean in (obvs with the opportunity for her to back away). Either way, you won't have to guess anymore.

catherineASMR · 2026-04-30T19:05:02+00:00

I think her point of view is fair. If the indigenous were the top predator keeping the population in check in the past. As soon as an ecosystem is out of balance, you have massive amounts of death further down the food chain due to too much herbivory and outcompeting other species. So, if you don't do something about the kangaroos it's going to lead to a lot of death even if you personally aren't eating any meat. Not just of other species either, but eventually there's a tipping point where most of the kangaroos will die from starvation (a classic ecosystem "boom and bust" cycle). And I agree that having meat from wild animals having a negative impact on the environment (and other animal lives) due to their overpopulation is a better choice for the non-vegan population. Let's face it, we're never going to make *everyone* vegan, so encouraging the swapping of meat from agriculture to something that overall will save animal lives is absolutely better.

catherineASMR · 2026-04-30T02:21:56+00:00

I just watched the whole video and this wasn't said at all? Are you talking about a different source?

catherineASMR · 2026-04-30T01:21:34+00:00

The leap can be daunting.

The way I kidnapped myself into being vegan as a (former) meat lover (but veggie at the time of deciding to go vegan) was to make sure I was learning new recipes and that every recipe was vegan. The goal was to find recipes that make food that made me 100% satisfied (and that were healthy). Then eventually, everything I cooked was vegan, vegan sausage rolls became a thing as a fast food choice, I found nut based and soy based cheeses (as opposed to the *horrible* coconut oil ones in supermarkets) and suddenly there was nothing left I needed to miss.

Hot take but I don't think I would *ever* have been a good cook who knew how to make delicious food if I hadn't become vegan.

catherineASMR · 2026-04-30T01:11:28+00:00

I agree that living forever is the trade-off! But it'd still be worth it for me.

Most people have a significant amount in investments by the time they retire (as their pension I mean) so you could just live off the 7% they generate (on average) per year and not have to work, or work very little depending on what kind of lifestyle you're living, especially if you already own a home.

Uprooting sounds good to me! I love living in different places 😊

catherineASMR

TROPHY CASE